God Laughs
by AddieGreysPPPEvilRegal9119
Summary: AU 5x14 and onward. "People Plan and God Laughs"-that's what Bizzy used to always say. Just as she's come to terms that she will probably never be a mother, God or the universe has other plans for Addison Forbes Montgomery. Addisam endgame; NO HENRY; References Grey's Anatomy season 8 finale. Jaddison, Addison/Amelia Maddek, Addison/Naomi, Addie/Callie friendships.
1. God Laughs

**a/n: Okay so, this idea has been in my head for a while now. It's totally crazy and highly insane but, I NEED to post this before my head explodes. Oh and for those who were reading 'Miracles Happen', I decided to take it down because, that's not the way I planned on that story going; but as a treat I shall update my one and only Jaddison story I Know Who I want to take Me Home which is only a few more chapters before it ends. Anywho, please enjoy this Addisam (yes it's Addisam) fanfic. Comments, be it positive or negative about the story and the ship would be awesome! **

**Happy Reading**

**Xx**

It had been a long day, especially for Sam; dealing with his sister suddenly showing up. Feeling the need to talk to him, as a friend Addison walked over Sam's house. Noticing Sam sitting on the couch, reading a book, the redhead knocks on the glass door before sliding it open.

"Hey" she said with a small smile.

Putting down his book, Sam walked over to her as she closed the door behind her "Oh hey, what's up?" he asked

"Nothing I uh, well, I saved a baby today" Addison smiled.

"Oh, that's good" Sam said with a proud grin, Addison laughed a little.

"Well I was home, I couldn't sleep and I saw your light on I wanted to uh, make sure you're ok" she said as she reached out and put her hand on his arm.

There was a small pause as they stared into each others eyes before Sam moved closer to Addison, her back against the screen door as he kissed her

"Where's Corinne?" she mumbled against his mouth as her arms came around his neck; she had truly missed this, kissing him, being in his arms.

"She's asleep" Sam muttered against her lips.

"Yeah? Addison asked softly, her lips still meshed against Sam's as he lifted her up, carrying her to his bedroom.

xxx

Of course sex with Sam was, amazing; it always was, but something about this time was totally different. She still wanted a baby, but he didn't; that was the reason they had broken up, twice to be exact. As much as she loved Sam, she couldn't be with someone who couldn't fully support her or her desire to be a mother. For Addison, it was more than just about saying 'I'll support you'; she wanted Sam to be there for her. So, as painful as the decision was, she did what she had to do. Sliding out of bed while Sam was still asleep, Addison quietly grabbed her clothes and got dressed. Just as she was about to put on her top, Sam woke up.

"Mmmm, hey" he said sleepily

"Hey" she said with a small smile

"You don't have to leave you know" Sam told her, causing her to smile a little

"Nothing's changed Sam; I mean, nothing's changed so, I do have to go" She told him as she stood, fixing her clothes before leaning in to give him one last kiss.

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, no, no, don't be sorry, I'm not sorry; I just have to go" she told him, reaching over and grabbing her earrings from the nightstand.

"I'm gonna check on you two; I'm worried about you"

"I wish I could say you didn't have to be" Sam said with a sigh, not really able to look at her.

"But honestly, I'm a little worried about me too" he confessed, turning so that he could look her in the eyes. Addison could do nothing more than smile at Sam before she leaned in and gave him one last kiss before heading to the door.

* * *

8 weeks later

Her world, as she knows it, is about to change. It's already changing, with Sam dating Stephanie a labor and delivery nurse at St. Ambrose. Erica, the mother of Cooper's child via a one nightstand has passed away. Amelia is pregnant, but her baby is anecephalic, which brings her to where she is now. Amelia has delivered her baby, who lived only but a short while before his organs were donated to other sick babies across the country. Holding her pseudo nephew for those few brief moments before he was whisked away to the OR were, heart wrenching. Amelia had wanted this, so badly that she'd gotten sober for this to happen. However, the double board certified surgeon has learned that life doesn't always go as planned. It's a lesson she learned just this morning as she stood in her bathroom fresh out of a shower.

Standing in front of the steam covered mirror, the redhead slowly wipes it clean, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Last night, her life changed when two little plus signs finally decided to show up on a stick. It was some, cruel sort of joke she thought to herself. Just as she gives up on having a baby, the universe decides that it's high time she get knocked up, with a baby by her ex boyfriend who was adamantly clear on not wanting children with her. Her ex boyfriend who is also her best friend's ex husband. Her ex boyfriend who is noticeably dating someone else who he seems to be very, very happy with. Yes, the universe decides to screw her over, and give her a baby by Sam Bennett. It's his baby, it can't be anyone else's, seeing as he was the last man she'd had sex with.

Seeing Sam standing near the nurses station, talking, laughing and even kissing Stephanie is enough to make the redhead run past them, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach. Sam, always being able to detect when something's wrong with Addison, turns his attention away from his girlfriend.

"I'll be right back" he says quietly, causing Stephanie to glance over at the redhead.

"Is Dr. Montgomery okay?"

"She and Dr. Shepherd are really close so, she's probably having a hard time dealing with what's happened" Sam explains before heading off in the direction that Addison had went. He sees her retreating into an on call room and follows her inside.

"Addison, everything okay?" Sam asks, noticing that she appears to be on the phone with someone. He waits until she finishes her conversation, which is filled with hushed tones, all laced with seriousness.

"Addie?"

"This day cannot get any worse" the redhead says with a sigh, sitting on the bed

"Addison, what's going on?"

"How the hell am I supposed to tell Amelia that Derek and Mark have been in a plane crash? I mean, she just lost her baby less than an hour ago! I seriously hate this day!" she mutters, resting her head on her lap.

"Addison, okay slow down; tell me what's going on"

"Well, Callie just called me and said that Derek and Mark were in a plane crash yesterday; they were heading to Boise to perform a surgery when the plane crashed"

"Are they alright?"

"That's just it; they don't know where the plane is. They are a hundred percent certain that it crashed because the other hospital called and said that the plane never made it to Boise. They've got search and rescue teams out looking for the plane. Derek, Mark, Meredith, Arizona, Cristina and Lexie Grey were all on that plane. I know those people, all of those people. God, they can't all be dead; please don't let them be dead"

"Look Addie, I'm sure that they'll all be fine; Let's not upset Amelia until we have some solid concrete information"

"Sam, this is her brother; this is Derek and Mark we're talking about here! I can't just, sit around and do nothing!"

"There's no information Addison. You kinda have to sit and wait"

"Why is all of this happening? I mean, first Amelia's baby, and then you and I sleep together and then the stupid stick turns Blue and then..."

"Wait, say that last part again; something about us sleeping together and then a stick turning Blue" Sam says; it's in that moment that Addison realizes that she's just told Sam that she's pregnant.

"Nothing, forget I said anything" she says quickly standing up and heading for the door.

"Addison, are you, you're not, I mean...it's been-"

"8 weeks. I'm 8 weeks Sam" she says quietly

"How-"

"It's yours, I haven't slept with anyone but you in 8 weeks

"You seemed pretty cozy with Jake the other day"

"Jake and I, I don't know what we are but, I'm not sleeping with him" Addison says quietly as Sam begins to pace the room.

"Do you know what this means Addison?! It means that, that I'm gonna be a father again after I told you that I didn't want anymore children!"

"You act as though I made you get me pregnant or something"

"I wouldn't put it past you"

"What?!"

"You came to my house Addison-"

"To check on you! To make sure that you were okay! Your sister had just shown up out of the Blue after being gone for over 20 years! I was being a friend!"

"A friend whom I used to have sex with"

"Okay, whoa. Not once did you try and stop me from having sex with you"

"I said I regretted it!"

"You may have regretted it but you still had sex with me!"

"Because you were there Addison! You were there and I was in a bad place and you practically threw yourself at me and you're damn hot and amazing in bed. Did you think I'd pass up an opportunity to sleep with you?"

"Wow. I don't even know what to say right now"

"You're getting what you want so be happy with that. I'm stuck with you-"

"Stuck with me!? No, if you don't want this baby then-"

"What, you're gonna have an abortion and then get all 'woe is me, I can't have any more babies. I gave up the one chance to have a baby because Sam didn't want one'. You are not about to blame the fact that you sleep with inappropriate men, get pregnant and have abortions on me. I am not about to be Mark Sloan" Sam says as Addison instantly slaps him.

"Go to hell Sam! GO TO HELL! I can't even believe you'd say that! You don't know a thing about what happened between me and Mark! You weren't there! You don't know how hard of a decision that was for me, so don't you ever bring up my abortion again!" the redhead says angrily before walking out of the on call room, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

It doesn't take long for word to travel that Addison is pregnant with Sam's baby. Naomi calls her, trying to be supportive but she can't; that phone call ends with Naomi vowing to never speak to Addison again. Amelia gives her the cold shoulder, citing that it was so like Addison to make everything all about her. Violet tries to be supportive, but her support lingers after Pete is arrested; seeing as he's her husband, he requires her full support. Charlotte could care less because she's dealing with the fact that her husband has a 9 year old son from a one nightstand whose mother just died and is now permanently living with she and Cooper. Sheldon tries to give her some advice, but it comes off as shrink talk and highly condescending. The only person who seems to support her is Jake.

"Say it" she says one afternoon as the pair leave the hospital after consulting on a case

"Say what?"

"That I'm a whore or, something like that"

"Addison, you're not a whore; you're just..."

"What? A cheater? An adulterous bitch? A man stealer? A desperate woman who gets pregnant on purpose?"

"No, I was going to say, you're a woman, a woman who is in a very delicate situation" Jake says

"What if I wanted to have an abortion? Would you perform it for me?"

"Addison, this is what you wanted, you shouldn't let the fact that Sam-"

"It's not just Sam Jake, it's everyone. They all hate me"

"This isn't about Sam, or anyone at the practice. This is about you and what you want and how you feel"

"That's just it; I don't know how or what I feel right now"

"Alright, let me ask you one question"

"Okay..."

"Do you still want a baby?"

There's a pregnant pause before Addison looks over at him and answers earnestly

"Deep down, yes, I still want a baby. I think I said I didn't anymore because I'd pretty much given up on the idea. I mean, 2 failed IVF attempts, a failed adoption, a list of, very bad surrogates...I started feeling like luck or God, just wasn't on my side with this. I thought that I couldn't get pregnant because I'd cheated on my husband. I mean, I should have a kid right now; she'd be 7"

"She?"

"I like to think that it would've been a girl; Ella. She'd be in second grade, she'd have the same gap in between her teeth as me. I'd probably be a single mom in New York somewhere if I'd had her. But, I didn't. I had an abortion because the father, he wasn't ready for a baby, so I thought. I mean, he cheated on me; but I guess that's what I get for thinking that the man I'd cheated on my husband with would be faithful to me. So, I had an abortion and I was, scared and ashamed. You know, I even told him that the reason I had an abortion was because he'd be a terrible father. Ironically, he has 2 daughters; a 20 year old daughter who he had no clue existed 2 years ago and he's got a 1 year old and he is, an amazing father" Addison says tearfully before clearing her throat and continuing.

"I didn't think it would happen for me. I mean I dated Pete and got attached to Lucas and, letting go of him nearly killed me. Then I dated Sam, my best friend's ex husband, who didn't want babies with me, not now or ever. I mean, everyone around me has been able to get pregnant, Violet, Amelia but I'm the one who tries and tries and tries and then one day, when I've given up on the idea and started to come to terms that I'd probably be alone for the rest of my life, this little miracle happens, but then my ex boyfriend hates me and says that I was nothing more than a piece of ass to him and that he regretted having sex with me, my best friend vows to never speak to me again and calls me a whore and a bitch and, a list of names I'd rather not repeat, my colleagues all hate me...do I still want a baby? Yes. Why? Because when I look at this baby, it won't see the fact that I slept with my husband's best friend, or that I had an abortion or that my mother was a lesbian and my father was a cheater. I won't see the fact that I slept with my best friend's ex husband. It won't, to my child I'll just be 'mom. So yes Jake, I still want to have a baby"

"Well, looks like I won't be performing an abortion for you then" Jake says with a smile.


	2. Going, Going, Gone

After talking to Jake, Addison seemed to be in a much better mood than before. Her colleagues were still not really speaking to her much but, that didn't matter. None of that mattered to her, because she was having a baby. Yes, the fact that it was Sam's baby was a lot to handle, seeing as he had expressed his sincere disinterest in having another child with her or anyone. The only thing that mattered to Addison, was her child. She decides to take a vacation in order to let things cool down at the practice.

"I'm going to Seattle" the redhead announces the following afternoon as her colleagues had lunch.

"Oh? A major surgery?" Violet asked

"No. Derek and Mark Sloan were in a plane crash; they're my family and they need me so, I'm going"

"What about your patients?" Pete questioned

"All of my non surgical patients will be transferred to Jake and any other surgical cases, the other attendings can handle it" she says calmly. It had all been settled, she would go to Seattle for a while; the distance would be good for her plus, she needed to see Derek and Mark for herself to make sure that they were truly okay.

"What about the baby?" Sam asked as he walked into her office a short time later. She looked up from her paperwork and gave him a polite smile.

"Look, I know you don't want this-"

"Addison"

"You don't have to do anything Sam"

"What?"

"You don't want a baby so, as of this moment you don't have one"

"Wait, what are you saying? Did you-"

"No! God No! I'm simply saying, that if you don't want a baby then you don't have one"

"Okay, you're not making any sense here. I just wanted to know about the baby"

"Sam, I'm saying that you don't have to do anything for me, or this baby. You don't want to be a parent again so, I'm telling you that I don't, that _w_e, don't need you" the redhead says firmly

"So, you're giving me a way out?"

"I'm saying, whatever you choose to do, be in this baby's life or not, is your decision" Addison says simply

"So..."

"The ball is in your court Sam; whatever you want to do, is no longer my concern. If you are or are not in this baby's life is going to be something you have to do decide. I'm not going to sit around and hope that you'll come around. You made it perfectly clear that this isn't what you want, so, I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to."

"So, you're done with me?"

"Sam, stop playing twenty questions with me. We dated, we wanted different things but neither one of us were willing to budge. We broke up, got back together, had the same problem, broke up again, slept together, I got pregnant. Regardless of what may or may not happen between us, I'm having this baby" she says before standing up, gathering her things.

"How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know; as long as Derek and Mark need me?" she says, gently placing an arm on his shoulder before walking away from him.

* * *

2 Months Later

Addison Forbes Montgomery emerged from the elevator of Seaside Health and Wellness looking like a poised picture of perfection. This was the first time she had been here since announcing that she was going to Seattle. She was now just a little over 4 months pregnant, a small bump rather noticeable. She had planned on staying in Seattle longer but, she had to come back; her family in Los Angeles needed her. She had learned of Pete's sudden death from Amelia and came straight back. She's surprised to find Naomi standing at the reception desk.

"Naomi?"

"Addison, oh, wow. You're very, pregnant" Naomi says diplomatically

"Uh, yeah, just over 4 months"

"So I heard you were in Seattle; how are Derek and Mark doing?"

"Derek's fine, he's being rather passive about the fact that he could never operate"

"And Mark?"

"Fell into a coma a few days ago"

"Oh God, I'm so sorry; I should call Derek"

"Yeah, you should" Addison says just as Sam spots her

"Oh, Addison, hey"

"Hey Sam" she says quietly as Sam stares at her stomach

"There's a bump"

"Yeah, there's a bump" Addison says nodding her head to avoid the awkwardness

"So, uh, how are Derek and Mark doing?"

"Well, Derek may never operate again and Mark's in a coma"

"Oh, wow uh, I should call Derek, see how he's doing" Sam says

"Yeah...is Violet-"

"She's in Pete's office" Sam says finishing her sentence

"Right" Addison says before walking away leaving Sam and Naomi alone

"So you two-"

"Don't start Naomi"

"So you get her pregnant-"

"You act as if I did it on purpose!" Sam hissed

"You started sleeping with her on purpose"

"You're never gonna let that go are you? I seem to remember you sleeping with her brother and hiding the fact that he had a job at Pacific Wellcare"

"That's totally different"

"I also seem to remember you hooking up with two of my good friends, Bryce and Duncan."

"Sam-"

"It's a double standard Naomi; Addison and I happened, yes and it was...it happened and we're not together and she's pregnant and I'm-"

"You're what Sam?"

"I'm with someone else!"

"What?"

"Oh come on Nae don't act like you didn't know I was seeing Stephanie; I have been for a while now"

"So you-"

"No Naomi! God, I could, I would _never_ cheat on Stephanie; Addie and I happened before Stephanie and I"

"So how does Stephanie feel about it?"

"There's nothing for her to feel"

"Sam, you're having a baby-"

"No, _she's_ having a baby"

"What do you mean she's...Sam, is that baby-"

"It's mine Naomi, I know it's mine"

"_But_, I'm sensing a _but_ coming"

"She says I don't have to be apart of its life"

"_And you believe her?_ Sam, Addison's wanted a baby with you since you two were together"

"Naomi, I haven't seen or heard from Addison since she told me that me being in that child's life was optional"

"Optional? Sam, that's-"

"She says she doesn't want me in the baby's life out of obligation; she says if I decide not to be involved then-"

"Then what?"

"Then nothing; she gave me a choice Naomi"

"And you're choosing to be a deadbeat dad?"

"Naomi, I didn't want anymore kids and she told me that they didn't need me"

"Sam-"

"She said I don't have to be there, said she could handle it on her own."

"Sam-"

"You know, for you to hate her, you really are involved"

"I'm not involved; I'm thinking about Maya-"

"Who is 19 years old. If Maya wants to have a relationship with her sibling then, we can't stop her"

"We're her parents Sam!"

"We're also her parents that let our 16 year old daughter get pregnant and married and are supporting her college education; some parents that makes us"

"Sam-"

"We both got what we wanted; she got a baby and I have a choice of whether I want to be a parent again or not"

"I don't, did you even love her?"

"I did, I loved Addison, a part of me will always love Addison but, she's complicated Naomi. She wants things and she doesn't take no for an answer. We tried but, she pressured me Nae and I didn't wanna be pressured anymore"

"So you broke up with her then?"

"Yeah, I did"

"And you're happy with Stephanie then?"

"I am; Stephanie's easy, she's not complicated, doesn't come from a complicated family. I don't have to deal with my crazy ex wife flipping out on me about dating her. My mother likes her, this is right; it feels right"

"And what are you gonna do when the baby comes?"

"It won't be my problem; she got what she wanted, so did I"

"Wow" Naomi says shaking her head before walking away.

* * *

The atmosphere for Pete's celebration was rather calm and peaceful, like the person everyone had gathered to celebrate. Violet asked Addison if she could host the gathering at her house, which the redhead graciously accepted, hiring a catering service to create a Bali themed feast for all 100 guests. Although those who were mourning Pete seemed to be enjoying themselves. Pete's Seaside family however, was having a less than enjoyable time. Charlotte was secretly trying to hide the fact that she was pregnant with triplets, Violet ended up getting high in Addison's upstairs bathroom with Cooper. Amelia was a gracious hostess, catering to all of the small children at the party. Then, there was the awkward ex love triangle going on between Sam, Addison and Naomi, which made things quite interesting.

Standing out on her beach deck, Addison wrapped her arms around her small baby bump as she stared out at the ocean.

"Having a good time?" Naomi asked quietly

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm just thinking" Addison answered quietly

"Oh? What about?"

"How much everything's changed in the last few years, and how it keeps changing"

"Yeah, it's funny that you mention change; I was talking to Sam earlier about the baby"

"_Oh?_"

"Yeah, and he said, he said the most, ridiculous thing"

"Did he now?"

"Yeah, he said that you told him that he didn't have to be involved in his child's life" Naomi says with a laugh

"I gave him the option"

"You, you can't be serious; Addison, this is your child-"

"Exactly, _my_ child, a child that Sam has made _very_ clear that he doesn't want. So why should I subject Sam _as well as my child_ to a lifetime of a strained relationship with undertones of resentment?"

"Addie-"

"No, don't Addie me Nae; why the hell do you care what happens to me and my child all of a sudden?"

"I'm not allowed to care?"

"I didn't think you would, considering all of the things you said to me the last time we talked"

"BECAUSE THIS IS WRONG ADDISON!" Naomi shouted, causing people to look at her

"This is wrong, this whole thing! You shouldn't be pregnant with Sam's baby! You shouldn't have slept with Sam!"

"But I did, and it happened; it's happening Naomi as much as you don't like it, as much as Sam doesn't like it, it is happening and I am, dealing with the fall out and the consequences of it as though I seduced Sam into being in a relationship with me for almost 2 years. It was a mutual agreement Nae, and I tried, hell I tried _so_ hard not to want to be with him! Hell, why do you think _Pete_ and I started sleeping together?! Because the people we loved, we couldn't be with them, so we decided to be each other's comfort! You dropped of the face of the earth Naomi! You went away! _You left us_! You walked around hating me because I 'stole' the practice from you-"

"Because you did!"

"BECAUSE YOU WERE RUNNING IT INTO THE GROUND NAOMI! You were running it into the ground and if someone didn't step in to save it, there would be no _Oceanside Wellness_, no_ Seaside Wellness_, we wouldn't have jobs to go to!"

"So that makes you some sort of saint? Because you _saved the practice?_"

"You_ begged_ me to come out here!"

"Because you whined about wanting change! 'I need a change, I can't stay in Seattle because I've fucked everyone there', just like you did here! You fucked Sam, you fucked Pete, I'm pretty sure you screwed around with that Jake guy-"

"Get out"

"What?"

"I said get out! Get the hell out of my house!"

"This is-"

"_My house! I own it!_"

"Of course you would make this all about you, you've always been such a selfish, spoiled-"

"I'd stop if I were ahead Naomi, because right now, I am about two seconds from revealing some deep dark things that you've done that I _swore_ I'd never tell anyone. You've done some things in your life that I vowed to take to my grave because I am that type of friend; you've made stupid mistakes and not _once_ have I judged you for them; but right now, I advise you to leave before I stop turning the other cheek and _ruin your life_" Addison tells her, the tone of her voice iced with seriousness as everyone watches the showdown between the two women.

"Alright, that's enough, you two, into the kitchen, now" Sam says firmly, grabbing both women by the arm, practically dragging them away from the prying eyes of the guests

"What the hell is going on between you two!?" Sam yells

"Nothing" both women reply, their eyes still locked on one another

"I was just leaving" Naomi says firmly

"Leaving?"

"Yes, in order not to kill your little-"

"I'm not his _anything_! We, are _nothing_ Naomi! Do you get that?! _Nothing!_ He's moved on with his life, as should you, because whatever happened between Sam and I isn't your business _nor_ is it your concern!" Addison yells just as her cellphone rings. Grabbing the phone, she picks up to find the broken sounding voice of Derek Shepherd on the other end.

"Derek? Derek what's wrong?"

The phone call is brief, only a few seconds before Addison hangs up turning to face Sam and Naomi.

"Mark Sloan is dead" Addison declares before abruptly turning on her heel and rushing up the stairs towards her bedroom, the sound of the slamming door echoing throughout the house.


	3. Until It's Gone

**a/n: This part is quite long and rather interesting. Thanks to FlySkyHigh85 for being my first reviewer for this story and for picking my brain with the whole Addie/Nae debate. I hope you guys enjoy this story, because it's already pre planned. I'm still working on a resolution for Addison and Naomi, I'm up for suggestions as to how these two mend their friendship, because I do feel like their friendship could repaired, though it would never be what it once was. Anywho, once you read, please be nice and leave a review!**

**Xx**

Amelia is the one who must tell all of the guests that they can leave, because the party's over. After the little debacle between, Addison, Sam and Naomi, along with Violet reappearing, high as ever, along with Charlotte yelling at Cooper for getting high with Violet and agreeing to take Lucas if anything ever happened to along, meaning that they would be stuck raising 4 children(revealing that she was pregnant with triplets) Amelia knew it was time for everyone to go home.

"What the hell is wrong with you people!?" The tiny dark haired neurosurgeon shouts at her friends and colleagues

"And where the hell is Addison?! Addison! Addison Forbes Montgomery get your ass down here right now!" Amelia shouts, but is only met with silence

"Addison!"

Still silence

"Addison?"

An alarming amount of silence

"Addie?" her voice is softer this time as everyone cranes their necks to see Addison come down the stairs, her eyes red and practically swollen shut.

"Addie? Addie what's wrong!" Amelia asks as the redhead falls into tears once again

"Mark's, dead!" she manages through her sobs, causing Amelia to hold her tighter; now she understood. Mark, her brother's best friend; hell he was practically her brother. She also understood the complicated relationship that Mark and Addison had as well, probably better than anyone else

"When?" Amelia manages through her own tears

"A few hours ago, he, he was on, life support. I didn't even know!"

"Shh, I know, I know, it's okay, it's okay, you're okay, I'm here"

"Okay, you all need to leave now; I'll yell at you tomorrow but, we need to be alone" Amelia tells them as she tries to keep Addison calm if not for her own sanity, then for the sake of her baby.

"Addie, I need you to calm down for me, okay?"

"I can't! He's, Mark, he's, dead!"

"Addie, Addison look at me, you're starting to hyperventilate and that's not good for you or your baby so, just take slow, deep breaths for me, okay? In and out, in and out, that's it, that's a good girl"

"Why the hell are you people still here?! Leave! Go home! I'll yell at you all for being idiots and ruining Pete's funeral tomorrow!" Amelia shouts, keeping one arms around Addison.

"Call me if she-"

"I will Jake, I will. I'm gonna stay here with her tonight"

"You sure? You think you'll be able to-"

"She was there for me when...I need to be here for her; she's my sister, she's my family. She put me through rehab, twice. She needs me" Amelia says firmly as Jake gives her a small pat on the shoulder, kneeling in front of Addison to give her a tight hug before heading home.

"Why are you two still here?" Amelia asks Sam and Naomi as Addison lifts her head up

"Go home" she whispers

"Addie-"

"GO HOME!" the redhead yells before pushing herself out of Amelia's embrace, darting to the nearby bathroom to throw up.

"You heard her, go home"

"Amelia, Mark-"

"We'll let you know when everything is"

"Amelia-"

"Why are you two still here? Why do you two care all of a sudden? I heard how you were talking to her out on the deck and you, you've been walking around the office acting like the poor victim in this situation! You pursued a relationship with Addison Sam! You got her pregnant whether ya tried to or not, you did and now all of a sudden, you regret it? I don't blame her for telling you that you don't have to be in that kid's life!" Amelia says quietly just as Addison returns from the bathroom

"Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just, wanna sleep" Addison says softly

"You eaten anything?"

"No"

"You should eat something"

"Amelia-"

"You're having a baby Adds, you need to eat something" The brunette says with a small smile

"Fine, a tiny something, and then I'm going straight to bed because, I need this day to be, over"

"Okay. You go upstairs and shower and stuff, I'll fix you something and bring it to you"

"Okay, thanks Amelia, for everything" Addison says tearfully, giving the young girl's hand a squeeze.

"No problem Addie, that's what sisters are for" she says as she watches Addison head up the stairs

"Again, you two, seriously need to go away. She doesn't need the added stress of having the ass of a baby daddy and the bitch of a best friend here. A man she loved, very much died a couple of hours ago, plus, she just lost a friend, and colleague who was also her ex; she needs the rest and the space"

"Just, make sure she takes care of herself Amelia" Naomi says quietly before leaving

"Well? Aren't you gonna mosey on along? I'm pretty sure your girlfriend is somewhere waiting to screw"

"Okay, I know you're pissed at me but leave Stephanie out of this. I just, I wanna make sure she's alright; I have that right, she is having my child" Sam says

"Oh God, make up your mind! Either you want to be involved or not Sam! But you will not keep doing this to her! She doesn't need this, now go home, now!"

"Fine; keep me posted on whatever you hear about Mark"

"Fine, now get out"

* * *

Mark funeral is quite large, with people from New York coming, as well as Addison, Sam, Naomi, Archer(who surprised everyone by even coming) and Amelia. Addison manages to keep her distance from Sam and Naomi, catching up with Weiss and Savvy as well as Derek's sisters.

"How's she holding up?" Nancy asks Amelia

"She loved him" Amelia says quietly

"I know, I know about everything"

"Including the baby?"

"Who do you think performed the abortion?"

"You?" Amelia starts as Nancy nods

"It's not something we talk about" Nancy says as she continues watching her former sister-in-law

"I still love her ya know, we all do"

"Mom doesn't"

"Well, mom's different"

"That's because she thinks Derek's a saint" Amelia says with an eye roll

"Hey, I thought you two were on better terms?"

"We are; it's just that when it comes down to Addison-"

"If you had to pick sides?"

"I'd choose Addie every time"

"She really was a better big sister to you than any of the rest of us"

"Yeah, she is" Amelia says with a smirk as Nancy nudges her playfully

"I want to apologize for that, for not being there for you over the years"

"It's cool. I've made my mistakes and I've learned from them"

"Still on the wagon?"

"Almost 6 months" Amelia says proudly

"Good for you sis. Now, I've gotta know, that baby Addie's carrying..."

"Sam's" Amelia says taking a sip of her water as Nancy gasps

"I mean, I knew they were together but-"

"Oh no, they're not together"

"What? The last time I talked to Addie they were-"

"She wanted kids, Sam didn't"

"But-"

"Post break up sex"

"Ah"

"How come we never had conversations like this before?"

"I don't know, maybe we should try and have them more often; you could keep me updated with what's going on with you and Addie in LA...I always had a feeling you'd end up someplace like that"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I did; and I'm proud that you made it" Nancy says wrapping an arm around her baby sister.

"Hey" Derek says quietly as he greets his ex wife

"Hey, how you holding up?"

"Good; still feels weird though"

"Yeah..."

"Addie, I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, I know you should've-"

"I should've been there Derek but, I'm not gonna have this discussion with you, not right now" Addison says turning her back towards him. He sighs heavily before continuing with the next part of his conversation.

"Mark told me, about what really happened in New York between the two of you"

"What?"

"He explained everything to me; he told me about the baby" Derek says quietly, noticing the guilt that lay within his ex wife's eyes.

"I told him he'd be a terrible father"

"What?"

"When he first moved to Seattle, I told him that the reason I had an abortion was because, I wanted a baby with you and, that we wouldn't be a great couple and, that he'd be a terrible father"The redhead says, trying to fight tears

"Why are you telling me this now Derek? Is it your way of rubbing it in that my life is hell while you and Mark have had such wonderful lives? I cheat on you, Mark cheats on me, I get pregnant have an abortion, you take me back out of pity, you cheat on me, I sleep with Sam, Naomi hates me, Sam breaks up with me, gets me pregnant and then regrets it all and then Pete dies and then Mark...I seriously think I'm cursed"

"Addison, you're not cursed"

"Oh yeah, then how is it that both you, Mark and Sam all tell me I'm not good enough? You pulled away during our marriage, Mark came to LA asked me to fix his pregnant kid, slept with me, strung me along telling me that if I helped him raise Sloane's baby with him, then that would be our second chance, but then he chooses Lexie Grey over me, what is it, with those Grey women? Then Sam, oh Sam, makes me fall in love with him by being so charming and...then he drops the bomb that he doesn't wanna have babies with me. Then, he breaks up with me twice and then, oh then, he gets me pregnant and then walks around like he's the victim!"

"Wow, we really screwed you up huh?"

"Derek, this is not the time for you to be joking!"

"I wasn't Addie; I'm sorry, for New York, for...I'm so sorry Addison" Derek says wrapping his arms around her as she tries to fight back the tears.

"I miss Mark" the redhead mumbles

"Nobody's gonna miss him more than us" Derek whispers to her.

* * *

Walking out of the bathroom after freshening her make up, Addison runs into Carolyn Shepherd.

"Addison, didn't expect to see you here" the older woman says

"Mark was my friend, even though...lots of things happened between us, I loved Mark; he was my best friend. He was just as much my family as Derek was" she says quietly, rubbing her stomach

"Addison, are you-"

"Yes Carolyn, I am"

"How far along are you?"

"I'm about four and a half months along"

"That's, great. I'm really happy for you Addie"

"Thank you Carolyn" she says politely, trying to get rid away from the older woman as soon as possible, but it was as if Carolyn didn't want to leave her alone.

"Addison?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you"

"Excuse me?"

"I said thank you. I never did tell you that. Derek told me about all that you've done for Amelia, about how you helped her get a job, gave her a place to stay"

"Amelia is, my family. She always has been, and she always will be" she says trying once again to walk away

"You always were a good big sister to her; Nancy, Kathleen and Lizzie, never knew how to deal with Amy growing up after their father died but you, she took to you like no one's business. I owe you a lot; you saved my daughter's life, twice. You put her through rehab, and you were there for her when...tell me something Addie, was there, anything-"

"The baby was anecephalic; it's frontal lobe and cortex didn't properly develop in utero. The chances of him surviving were-"

"Him?"

"Yes, it was a boy; she named him Ryan, Ryan Christopher Kerrigan Shepherd" Addison says with a smile, causing Carolyn's eyes to water.

"What really happened between you and Derek Addie?"

"Well, Derek and I we...we started, drifting apart, after the baby, after I miscarried. He started working more, he couldn't, deal with the loss so, he worked, and he worked. Did all he could to not, be at home with me; because he said looking at me and not being able to watch our baby grow hurt. So, he kept busy with work. He consumed himself with work in order to forget. Then, the chief started throwing out hints that Derek could become chief within the next few years so, he fueled his energy into that. When I was ready, when I wanted to try again, Derek, he was too far gone. He had set his eyes on a goal and that was all that mattered. I got upset, tried talking to him about it, he didn't want to listen, so we fought. We fought and we fought and then, we stopped fighting. Derek started sending Mark in his place when he 'didn't feel like being bothered with me. Mark and I had developed a friendship over the years and, he was just as much my friend as he was Derek's. Somehow, I started sharing things with Mark that I should've shared with Derek. Mark and I, we loved each other. Somehow, someway, Mark and I fell in love with one another; and then Derek found out. He left, went to Seattle; I stayed in New York with Mark and tried to make it work but, it didn't. I ended up in Seattle for a consult. I had every intention of finding Derek and giving him those divorce papers, but he didn't sign them. He said that he couldn't just throw away 11 years like that so, I sold my practice, packed up my things and moved to a trailer in the woods with my husband. It was...that year was the worst year of my life. I fought for my marriage but Derek, well, he'd already had his sights set on Meredith. I think he took me back because he didn't want to be the bad guy. He cheated on me did he tell you that? Yeah, he slept with Meredith at the hospital prom. I had the pleasure of finding out because her panties were neatly tucked into his coat pocket...I know you all want to believe that I just, slept with Mark because I'm a whore of some kind but, that wasn't it. I loved, Derek Carolyn, I did. I do, a part of me always will but, some things just, aren't meant to be" the redhead says sadly before walking away, joining her brother and their group of friends.

"Ah, just the woman I want to see" Archer Montgomery says placing an arm around his baby sister's shoulder.

"How much have you had to drink Archer?"

"One drink too many" Derek says making everyone laugh

"Okay, am I the only one who's going to pretend that this isn't weird?"

"What?"

"Sloan being dead, Addison carrying Sam's baby while Sam pretends that the baby doesn't exist"

"Archer, that's enough" Addison says through gritted teeth

"What Addie? You know I love you but, wasn't Mark enough? I mean, poor Naomi, it can't be good for her, seeing you pregnant with her ex husband's baby"

"Archer, it's fine" Naomi says politely

"It isn't fine Naomi! We all know what Addie did was fucked up, but we're just too good of friends to say anything. You're all thinking the same thing I'm thinking!"

"Oh my God, shut up Archer! One of our best friends is dead, and all you people can think of is 'oh my god Addison slept with Sam and now she's pregnant with his baby. How does Naomi feel?'I am a grown woman, we are, all adults here; Sam and I, made a conscious decision when we decided to be in a relationship. We both knew the risks involved but we did it anyway. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, we have _all_ slept with someone inappropriate once or twice, _all of us_. It's not just me! I did not _force_ Sam to sleep with me, date me nor get me pregnant so just...stop trying to put all of the fucking blame on me! He and Naomi walk around like they're such victims and I'm just this horrible, evil Jezebel of a woman, no screw that, screw them! I did _not_ get into this mess by myself, and it's high time the other people involved started stepping up and taking some fucking responsibility! Sam, you wanna pretend as though you're Mr. Innocent in this situation, well you weren't so innocent when you were fucking my brains out every night while we dated! You weren't innocent when you were telling me that you loved me and how good I felt every time we screwed. You weren't so innocent when you were moaning my name every time you came! This relationship, it didn't just happen on it's own, you went after it. You were the one who got all 'what if you had said yes to me in med school' You were the one who was coming over to my place while you were drunk, kissing me, you were the one who said you didn't care about Naomi, that you were over her. You said you wanted a life with me and now all of a sudden you're a victim and being with me was a mistake and I probably got myself pregnant on purpose? You wanna know what got me pregnant? Your stupid super sperm knocked me up!"

"Naomi, you're no saint in this either. One minute you're all 'Oh I don't want Sam, I'm not in love with him' and then I find out that you're kissing him while I'm away grieving my dead mother. You made your choice Nae, when Sam gave you divorce papers and you didn't fight, that was your choice. When Sam wanted to give you guys another shot, over and over and over and you told him no, you ended things with him right there. Your only tie to him is Maya, other than that, you have no say so and no control over who he dates. I am not your property and neither is Sam. Do you get to feel hurt? Yes, but come on already! Sam and I dated for 2 years and you were okay with it! Now all of a sudden you want to hate me because I got pregnant? Get over yourself Naomi. You act as though I'm the only one who's ever slept with someone they had no business sleeping with"

"Addison, don't"

"Oh? Now you want to be all 'Addison don't. You know what? You people are the biggest bunch of hypocritical judgmental assholes I know. Like I said, everyone in this circle of friends has practically slept with everyone, hell, Archer has slept with all of the women here except me and that's only because I'm his sister. But yet and still I'm being persecuted? You're all full of shit." the redhead says angrily as she turns to walk away

"You all can judge men all you want, but at least I own up to what I've done, I don't try and hide it. I slept with my husband's best friend and my best friend's ex husband. I cheated; like I said, everyone has slept with everyone here, you've slept with your friends husbands and boyfriends and girlfriends, you've all cheated, gotten STDs, had secret abortions...you all are just as morally fucked up as me so please, do yourselves a favor and get off your goddamned high horses for once, because in case you've all forgotten, when you guys screwed up, it was me who covered for you, it was me who vowed not to tell a soul about what happened. You're all a bunch of idiots and I wish I'd never met any of you"

2 Months Later

The next few months fly by for Addison. Amelia eventually moves back into Addison's place, stating that she shouldn't be alone. Naomi decides that she should be closer to Los Angeles for some reason and somehow convinces Addison to hire her on at the practice. Charlotte's pregnancy proves to be, quite interesting. Violet is, slowly learning to cope without Pete. Jake is being, very supportive of her pregnancy, agreeing to be her OB, not afraid to get on her case about working too hard. She's talked to Derek more since the funeral; she makes it her business to Skype with Callie a few times a week. She's only been back to Seattle twice, for Bailey's wedding to Ben, which Miranda insisted that she attend; she was also there for Adele Webber's funeral.

She was now 6 months pregnant with a baby boy, something she seemed to be pretty happy about. Sam was still basically inactive with her or the pregnancy. She didn't really mind that much; she knew what she was getting herself into when she decided to keep the baby. She's still quite confused as to why Naomi is still in Los Angeles, or working at the practice for that matter. She learns through Violet that Naomi and Fife had a pretty nasty break up, which was how she'd ended up here. She keeps to herself, not really bothering anyone about anything. The only people who seem to be 'on her side' are Jake and Amelia, who is actually quite thrilled about the baby. She doesn't see much of Sam these days, which doesn't bother her much.

Walking down the hall after seeing a patient, Addison runs into Sam, literally.

"Oh, sorry" the redhead says trying to reach down and pick up the papers she'd knocked out of his hand.

"It's fine, I got it" Sam says stooping down to gather up the files. Once he stands up, he notices just how big she's gotten.

"The bump's getting bigger"

"Yeah, it is"

"So, you uh-"

"It's a boy" she quickly tells him, a proud smile flashing across her face as Sam stares in amazement; a son, he'd always wanted one of those/

"A boy? Uh, wow that's-"

"Yeah, hey listen, I've gotta go, I'm running late for a surgery; we'll talk later?" Addison says quickly as she heads towards the elevators

"Wait, you're still operating?"

"Yeah, Jake says it's fine; though I won't be able to do this much longer" she says rubbing her stomach

"Isn't that, dangerous? To be on your feet for so long?" Sam questions, making the redhead chuckle

"Sam Bennett, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were concerned" Addison says with a smirk. Before he can answer, the elevator doors close and she's gone.

"What was that about?" Naomi asks, having seen the small exchange between the two

"She's having a boy, you know that?"

"Sam" Naomi says with a sigh

"What?"

"Make up your mind about what you want" she says with an eye roll

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, either leave Addison alone or step up and be a man and be a father to that child"

"Since when-"

"I don't; I mean, I'm always gonna care about Addison, she was a good friend"

"Sounds like more than that to me" Sam says, making Naomi sigh

"I miss her, alright? Yes, I miss Addison; but I miss a lot of things that I can't have back, like my virginity, the ability to be able to fit into a size two. Sometimes, once something's gone, it's gone for good, and you can't have it back Sam" Naomi says before turning to walk into her office.


	4. Words I couldn't Say

**a/n: So, things are going to start moving quite quickly after this. I know you guys all hate Sam at this point but, I'm gonna do a chapter that hopefully explains everything and Sam's decisions. Also, I have an image I plan on using for Sam and Addison's baby in case you guys wanna know what he looks like; I'm using Aden Housely(Tamera Mowry Housley's son). If you google him, you'll see why. **

**Reviews are love**

**Xx**

Chapter 4:

"_Nae, Sam and I are a couple; we have been a while now and I thought, we thought that it was time you knew"_

Those words have rang in her head constantly for the past 2 years. Sure enough, she felt hurt and betrayed by their actions, but as Addison has stated several times over the past few months, both she and Sam made a decision to be together. It wasn't just her fault that this happened; still, in Naomi's mind, it shouldn't have. Sam and Addison being together somehow made her rethink her entire friendship with Addison and her entire marriage to Sam. Though technically, there was no way in hell that Sam and Addison could have cheated while she was married to Sam, it doesn't stop the thought from crossing her mind, and quite often. Addison was a beautiful woman, strikingly beautiful. Her eyes, her hair her face, her legs, her body, her killer sense of style, her personality, all made her an incredible person. Sure, she's not actually surprised that Sam and Addison hooked up, she had heard rumors floating around that Sam technically had eyes for Addison first. She wasn't sure how true that was but, Sam was hers, had been her for 17 years, until he suddenly woke up one morning and decided that he didn't want to be married to her anymore. It was a hard blow but, she managed to seemingly go unharmed after the divorce. Physically, she helped herself heal with food, and 5 miles on the treadmill every night. Emotionally, she's never quite gotten over the divorce. She often thinks about a lot of the things that Addison said during Mark's funeral, about how she didn't fight for her marriage and how when Sam wanted to give them a try again she had rejected him. She also thought about Addison's threat to expose an very ugly, well kept secret from her past...

_Columbia University, Summer 1994_

"_Naomi! Naomi!" Addison hissed as she walked down the darkened hallway of, wherever the hell she was. Oh, that's right, Tom Johnson had thrown a huge graduation party that night and they, meaning, herself, Naomi, Derek, Sam, Mark, Archer, Nancy, Weiss and Savvy, had all decided to go. Mark and Archer were off haven drunken sex with random women. Derek and Sam were downstairs barely able to function due to the insane amount of alcohol they had consumed. Nancy, being married with a child, came by for a few hours and left. Weiss and Savvy also left, to go have drunken sex in the safety of their own apartment. The last person left standing, or at least with a blood alcohol level that wasn't above the legal limit was Addison. _

_She had consumed her fair amount of alcohol that night but, she knew how wild her friends could get, which made her the designated driver. One of the perks of being a Montgomery was that her blood was practically half liquor, seeing as she had been exposed to it since birth; she'd been mixing her father's drinks since the age of 8 and having wine and champagne with every meal since her 12__th__ birthday. It well after 3 am, and the only party missing from her group was Naomi. She had seen her friend flirting with James Prescott earlier that night after she and Sam got into a fight. She remembered warning Naomi, 'not to do anything stupid'. Somehow she figured that her friend would make a drunkenly conscious decision; which of course she did._

"_Naomi!" Addison practically yelled when she finally did find her friend. _

"_Get up" the redhead said firmly_

"_Addie, I-"_

"_Get up, go shower and, let's just pretend that this, didn't happen"_

"_Addison-"_

"_I'm not going to tell Sam, that's what best friends do; it's what Montgomery's do, we look the other way...I'm giving you 15 minutes and then we're going to go downstairs and I'm gonna tell Sam that I found you passed out drunk._

"_Addie-"_

"_Don't, don't say anything just, just get dressed Naomi" _

_There was so much more that happened after that night but, Naomi chooses not to think about it._

"Why didn't you tell Sam about what happened?" she finds herself asking Addison one afternoon

"What? Naomi, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about, the night of graduation"

"I promised I wouldn't; that's what I do, I keep my word"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why Sam?" Naomi asked as Addison rolled her eyes in annoyance

"Naomi-"

"No, as Sam's ex wife and your best friend, I deserve to know why"

"You think I did this, slept with Sam, got pregnant just to spite you?" Addison asks in total disbelief

"I don't know what to think Addison; I honestly don't, I am hurt, I am betrayed-"

"You act as though I slept with Sam while you two were married! It was after you two divorced!"

"Do you think that makes it right for you be with him even if we are divorced?"

"Why are you doing this!? Aren't I suffering enough?! I'm pregnant by a man who now pretends that I don't exist and neither does his child, while you and Sam walk around this practice hating me and pretending to be so heartbroken. You two make it look as if I just waltzed in and fucked up everything! You're the victim and I'm the bad guy in this situation. Everybody hates me and they all love you and feel bad for you. What more do you want from me dammit? I just wanna get through the next few months in peace is that, too much to ask for? I'm paying for my sins enough as it is carrying a child who will only feel half of it's parent's love or do I have to pay with my life too?"

"And somehow, it's all about you; all about Addison" Naomi says shaking her head

"Why did you even come in here? I have kept my distance from both you and Sam since Mark's funeral and then you have the audacity to march into my office with this bullshit?"

"I don't even know why I'm here" Naomi says quietly as a silence falls between the two women.

"Then why did you come?"

"I, I don't know. I've been thinking and, I can't remember where it went wrong with us"

"You know, I don't think it was me dating Sam that ended our friendship"

"What?"

"Me dating Sam was just, the final nail in the coffin; I think me taking over the practice was just the beginning of the end. Our friendship, it was never on good grounds to start with" Addison says after a long silence

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying, we haven't been the best friends we claimed to be in a long time; I think we just used the title 'best friend' because we're so used to it"

"You think so?"

"We hadn't kept in touch since before I moved out here; before all of this we hadn't seen in other in, God years? I think the last time we physically laid eyes on one another was, one Christmas, I can't remember which-"

"It was right before you lost the baby" Naomi says quietly

"Right...We haven't been best friends since then"

"Do you think we can ever be-"

"The question is, do we still want to be best friends, hell do we even still like each other?"

"I still like you"

"20 year history aside Nae; you barely like to look at me now"

"That's because I feel like..."

"What?"

"Nothing"

"You see, that's the problem; you've always taken the diplomatic way out of things. Right now, tell me how you feel about me, go"

"I-"

"Just do it Nae"

"Addison, this is silly"

"It's the only way we can see if this friendship is even salvageable"

"Addison"

"Do it Nae! Tell me how you really feel, don't hold back"

"Alright fine. You're selfish, you're self centered, you think your life is perfect, you are a horrible friend, you slept with my husband, you got pregnant and now you want everyone to feel bad for you. You've always thought you were better than me, better than anybody else, you and your 25 million dollar trust fund and your fancy last names. You think you're so perfect because of all of the titles and the money and you always cry your way out of everything. You, you're a horrible person Addison" Naomi says through her tears

"Is that all?"

"Yes, though I think it was the anger talking, yes"

"You feel better for letting it out?"

"I do"

"Good, because now I'm gonna tell you what I think of you. Are you ready for this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be"

"From the moment I met you, I have envied you. You've always been so, well put together while I'm a mess. You've always known the perfect thing to say, the perfect thing to do. You were the perfect wife to Sam, the perfect mother to Maya, you have had the perfect life. Then I woke up one day and realized, that you're just like me. Selfish, insecure, full of drama and excuses. You say I play the victim, take a look at yourself Nae. I find it highly odd that you can talk about me getting pregnant and sleeping with highly inappropriate men when I seem to remember you doing the exact same thing. You've always made me out to be the bad friend well, this bad friend has covered your ass on several occasions that you seem to have forgotten about-"

"If you're going to keep doing this then-"

"Did I interrupt you when you were talking?"

"No"

"Good, then shut up and listen; you've done some pretty messed up things since I've known you but I have never used what you've done against you. Not once have I ever brought it up, any of it. You, you on the other hand, you seem to remember every single indiscretion that I've made; you wanna know how? Because it's constantly thrown up in my face. How is it, that you can judge me, Violet and any other woman who's had an abortion, when you had one yourself? How can you accuse me of being a cheater, when I distinctly remember you cheating on your fiance just weeks before your wedding. I've never said anything about any of that not one time. I was there for you child when she was too scared to talk to you about sex, and I was there for her when she got pregnant while you, you ran out on her. You ran out on your family. You spend so much time being condescending towards others, namely me, in hopes that it'll take the spotlight off of you; but don't worry Naomi, no one knows who you really are. You've spent enough time being a do gooder and saving babies and helping those who couldn't help themselves that no one even knows what you did."

"I hate you right now"

"Good because I hate you too"

"What was the point of this, telling each other how much we hate each other?"

"To get past all of what we're feeling right now and decide if we actually want to save our friendship"

"How'd we drift so far apart? I mean, before all of this?"

"I don't know"

"Do you think we can ever be friends again?"

"Honestly? I think if we are ever friends again, it'll never be what it used to be. You'll never be able to look at me the same after I have the baby, because all you'll see is the fact that I had a baby by Sam and the fact that I slept with and dated your ex husband"

"So what do we do now?"

"I don't know. Do you even want to be friends again?"

"I'd like to, someday"

"That would require you being able to look at me Naomi; you can't even look at me right now"

"Right now, it's hard"

"I get that, which is why I haven't really bothered you. I'm giving you space but, Naomi you have to realize that no matter how much space I give you, it's not going to change the fact that I dated Sam and that I'm having his baby. My kid's not going anywhere Nae, he's gonna be here and Sam is his father, whether he's involved or not. Even if I give you space for the rest of your life, we're connected; our kids have the same father. I'm not saying it to brag but, it's time you got a piece of harsh truth. Sitting around hating me isn't going to make this go away. Look, I am, deeply sorry about Sam, I really am but, I'm not apologizing for getting pregnant with my son. It may have happened in the most, unconventional way but, he's my son, and when he looks at me, he won't say any of the bad things I've done. To him, I'll be his mom and he'll love me unconditionally and I'll do the same with him. He's my chance to do something good, and I won't let you and Sam ruin that so, if you should decide that you want to be friends, the door is always open; but if not, I wish you all of the best in life Naomi and I hold no hatred in my heart for you. Our friendship, before all of this is, something I will value for the rest of my life. I don't regret a single moment of it, at least not the bad parts"

6 weeks later

"Sam! Sam! Excuse us a minute Stephanie" Naomi says before pulling Sam away from his girlfriend.

"Naomi, what are you doing?"

"Addison is in labor"

"What?"

"Yeah, she came in a couple of hours ago...Sam, say something, anything"

"I don't know what you want me to say here Naomi"

"So, you've made your decision then? You're just gonna, pretend that that child doesn't exist?"

"That's not what I'm doing Naomi"

"Then what the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm taking my time on this situation"

"Well your time is up Sam because that baby, your little boy is on the way right now. You need to step it up and be a man and be there for your child"

"Funny coming from a woman who-"

"Don't you dare bring up Maya! This isn't about me, this is about you! At least with Maya, I realized that what I was doing was stupid; you on the other hand, you're living in make believe land."

"I know that this is real okay! I know it, believe me I knew it was real every day her stomach grew, I realized it the other weekend when Amelia threw her that baby shower, I realized it when I'd catch her napping in on call rooms after surgeries. Don't think I haven't noticed Naomi, because I have. I can't not notice"

"So how in the hell can you stand there all cozy with your girlfriend while your ex is down the hall giving birth to your son?"

"She doesn't want me involved Naomi, she's made that perfectly clear to me since day one"

"No, she said she wasn't going to make you be involved out of obligation. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind you being there to witness the birth of your child...Do you even want to be there?"

"I don't know"

"As a woman, you want to be there when your child is born it's, it might make help you make your decision "

"Fine, but you're coming with me"

"Wait, what?!"

"You heard what I said"

"Sam, I don't think that's a good idea I mean, I've just gotten to the point where I can look at her"

"I'm asking you to go because, I need you there Naomi"

"Are you scared Sam?"

"Yes, now will you come with me, please?"

"Al-alright"

"Oh God I hate this! Why didn't anyone tell me how much this would hurt?" Addison groaned before collapsing back onto the pillows. She had taken a fall a few days prior; she felt slight pain but, everything was fine when Jake did the ultrasound. However, 6 hours ago she found herself in unbearable pain and was brought into the hospital. She was exactly 36 weeks, with only 4 more to go; somehow she had this feeling that she wouldn't carry the baby to full term. The thought of a preterm baby was scary but, being an expert at babies, she knew that her son's chances for survival were very high.

"Just relax Addie, you're doing great" Amelia said as she coached her through another contraction

"Amelia, are you sure you wanna-"

"I'm gonna be here Addie, I'm gonna be here" the brunette said just as the door to Addison's room opened to reveal Sam and Naomi.

"I hope it's okay that we-"

"No, no it's fine" Addison said to Sam

She was honestly surprised that he had even showed up for this; what was even more surprising was that Naomi was there also. Since their little chat a few weeks back, things had pretty much been the same between the two. There was what could be considered slight progress made when Naomi was finally able to give Addison eye contact when they would see each other; they even exchanged small waves once. Neither woman was sure how to pursue a friend or if they wanted to at this point; the fact that neither one of them had closed the door on reconciling meant that there was hope for one day if they did decide to want to be friends again. The fact that Naomi was there made Addison just a little bit more comfortable; she had always imagined her friend being there when she had her first child.

"I thought you weren't do for another few weeks?" Sam questioned

"I wasn't; I fell a couple of days ago and, well, here I am" Addison said with a small smile

"You fell?"

"Yeah, it wasn't a major fall, just a slip; I was able to break the fall though. Jake did an ultrasound and everything seemed fine, but a few hours ago, the pain just got to be too much so, here I am"

"But everything's gonna be okay right?"

"Everything is gonna be perfect, because you're about ready to start pushing" Jake said, the smile on his face dropping slightly at the sight of Sam and Naomi

"Addison said it was-"

"Ah, none of my business" Jake said as he got suited up

"You ready for this?" he asked

"As ready as I'll ever be"

"You scared?"

"Oh yeah, definitely" Addison nodded

"You'll be fine"

"Yeah? You're gonna be a great mom; now, you know the deal, on the next contration, I need you to start pushing for me okay?"

"I don't know..."

"Addie, you can do this alright? Eyes on the prize" Amelia said, making the redhead laugh

"'Eyes on the prize' really Amy? That's the best you could come...ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! God this hurts!"

"Just breathe through it like we talked about. In and out Addie, in and out"

"You're a good birthing coach" Naomi said quietly

"Yeah, well, I've seen this one deliver hundreds of babies so, I paid a little attention" Amelia replied with a smile

"Oh God this hurts! Why didn't anyone tell me this would hurt so much?"

"I think I told you this when I was having Maya"Naomi said with a slight chuckle

"I don't remember that"

"I do" Sam said with a smile as he walked towards the bed

"You were sitting where Jake was and Naomi was, screaming her head off; you laughed a little and said 'Nae, come on, it can't be that bad' and Naomi glared at you said 'you just wait until you have kids'"

"I should've listened to Naomi" Addison says tearfully before groaning in pain

"Yeah, you should've listened to her but, you can do this. I know it hurts but, you can do this" Sam told her, reaching over and squeezing her hand

"Alright Addison, gimmie a big push" Jake instructed her

2 hours later, Addison Forbes Montgomery was holding her son in her arms; Carson Sam Bennett arrived into the world with quite the pair of lungs on him at approximately 10:47 p.m. January 19, 2012. Staring into her son's blue eyes made her heart melt; never in her life had she felt such a peace. Watching the baby as he sleeps, she's startled by a soft knock at the door.

"Hey" Sam said quietly as he approached the bed

"Hey" Addison replied, not quite able to take her eyes off of the baby

"How's he doing?"

"Perfect to be born at 36 weeks; his APGAR's good, breathing perfectly on his own, he's got quite an appetite"

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhm, he took after you when it comes down to eating" Addison laughed softly

"...You pick out a name yet?"

"Uh huh. I had a couple of names worked out for a while but, I think I've got the perfect one" she said as she gently stroked the baby's cheek

"Oh?"

"Yeah, this, is Carson; Carson Sam Bennett"

"...Just Bennett?"

"Mmhm, look I know that you might not like it but-"

"No, no I-"

"Sam?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Why were you here tonight; up until now, you've shown no interest in anything having to do with him"

"I, I honestly don't know Addison; I don't know anything right now. I just need time to figure things out"

"Sam, I don't have time for you to figure things out; Carson doesn't have time for you to figure things out...I think it'd be best if you weren't involved in his life"

"Addison-"

"No Sam; I said I'd give you time but, I can't do it anymore. He's here and you still don't know what you want. You need to figure that out first, figure out yourself. Until then, I think it'd be best if you just, kept your distance from me, and from him"

"Addison-"

"It's what's best for everyone involved"

"You mean you?"

"No, I mean, for us, for Carson"

"He needs a father"

"Can you do that Sam? Can you be there for him? Can you be there for 3 am feedings and spit up in the mouth? Can you deal with teething and first steps and scrapped knees? Are you ready for all of that?" Addison asked just as Carson yawned, his bright blue eyes opening; Sam stood there, remaining silent.

"I don't even know why we're having this conversation if you can't answer me"

"Addison-"

"You can hold him, but after that, you need to go Sam" Addison said turning so that Sam could hold the baby.

Taking his son from Addison, Sam stood there, staring into the little boy's eyes; he had a swarm of emotions going on. He had an answer but, he didn't know how to put it into words; he knew that it wouldn't be good for him to keep popping in and out of his son's life like that, especially when his emotions all over the place. He knew that it would only upset Addison more, and after what he'd put her through in the past 2 and a half years. He couldn't bare to hurt her anymore; he didn't want to hurt either of them.

"Daddy's so sorry little man; you be a good boy for your mama okay? Don't give her too much of a hard time; I love you so much Carson" Sam whispered before handing the baby back to Addison.

"I'm so sorry Addie, for everything" Sam told Addison before pressing a kiss to her cheek and walking away.


	5. Joy in Understanding

**a/n: hey you guys! I'm back with another update on this story. I had a crazy busy week so, I really haven't had time to write but, I'm making time now. I know you're all pretty much hating Sam at this point but, I am going to explain everything about how I think Sam turned into an asshole. Please note, I own nothing about this story; I'm merely a lonely fangirl, who is expanding on the creative evil genius that is Shonda Rhimes. **

**Xx**

_Charlotte North Carolina 36 years ago_

_Running along the sandy shore of North Carolina, 9 year old Samuel Bennett chases happily after his baby sister Corinne. She is exactly 3 years younger than him, and as big brother, it is his job to protect her. They don't have a daddy around; that's because Mama said that if he wanted to be there, then he would be. Turns out, daddy really didn't want to be there; so now it was just Mama, Sam and Corinne or Rinney as Sam called her. He thought that she was the most beautiful little girl in the whole world. She was only 6 but, she was almost as tall as her big brother, though when her hair was curly, she was exactly Sam's height, though he said that it didn't count. They looked very much alike with their smooth, even cocoa colored skin. Their eyes were like their mother's, though Corinne's were much bigger and seemed to be more expressive than Sam's. She had dreams to be a ballerina, that was what she really wanted to do. Sam however, had a more practical dream; he wanted to be a doctor, a doctor who fixed on hearts. He still has the stethoscope that mama gave him for his 5__th__ birthday, though he doesn't play with it much. Late at night, he and Corinne would lie in bed together and tell each other their dreams. _

"_One day, I'm gonna dance on stage like the lady in the nutcracker" Corinne would always say_

"_I'm gonna go to school and become a real good doctor and make lots of money and take care of mama" _

"_You're gonna take care of me too, right Sammy?"_

"_Of course Rinney; you're my best friend and my baby sister. I'll always take care of you"_

_It's summertime, the middle of June; every year they take a trip to North Carolina. Somehow, Mama always manages to rent a little cottage just off the beach for the week so that Sam and Corinne could play in the ocean. Mama is in the kitchen making dinner; the sun is setting on a beautiful day. Tonight, they're having homemade hamburgers and then mama promised that they would go get ice cream on the strip. Everything changes however when Corinne lets out a deafening scream from the water nearby._

"_Rinney! Rinney! What's wrong!?" Sam asks, rushing towards where his baby sister was lying in the water, screaming for her life._

"_It stung me!" the small girl wails_

"_What stung you?"_

"_A jellyfish!" _

_Being a good big brother, Sam instantly squats down into the water and picks up his little sister, running with her towards the house._

"_Sam?"_

"_Yeah Rinney?"_

"_Thank you, for saving me today" Corinne tells him; they're sitting in the living room near the fire snuggled underneath a blanket together_

"_I'ma always look out for you Rin; you're my sister"_

"_You mean that Sammy? You'll always look out for me"_

"_O'course I mean it"_

"_You promise?"_

"_I do"_

"_Pinky swear?" Corinne asks shyly, holding out a small pinky_

"_Pinky swear" Sam says, linking his finger with his sisters before pulling her close to him, holding her until she fell asleep._

Los Angeles, Present Day

Standing in the elevator, Sam Bennett is preparing to head upstairs for another day of work at Seaside Wellness.

"Oh, hold the elevator please!" a woman shouts

Leaning forward, Sam sticks his hand through the door so that it won't close; the person he finds on the other end surprises him.

"Oh, thanks" Addison says breathlessly

What makes this whole scene even more shocking? The 10 month old baby boy she holds on her hip. It's his son, Carson, whom he hasn't seen since his birth, 10 months ago. He watches the baby, who babbles happily at his mother, who is beaming with pride.

"What are you talking about Carson? Huh?" Addison coos at her son, just as Sam makes eye contact with her.

"Oh, sorry; my nanny's out sick this week with the flu and, I don't really trust him with too many people so, he, has to come to work with me. I hope that's alright" she says turning her attention back to Carson before exiting the elevator.

"No, no it's fine, it's fine"

He's left standing there, watching Addison interact with her son, their son. She seems like such a natural at it; it's as if she were meant to do it her whole life. Motherhood looks good on her, he muses. He walks off of the elevator, still marveling at how big his son has gotten. He's staring to look more like Addison everyday, though he can see traces of himself in the baby too, but for the most part, he's a mini Addison.

"Hey, you okay?" Naomi asks

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm good it's just, I haven't seen him since he was born" Sam says watching how Carson's face lights up at the sight of everyone at the practice.

"He really is a cute baby" Naomi says with a smile

"So you've seen him before?"

"Once or twice"

"How'd that happen?"

"Addison and I may have hung out once or twice, at her place"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, look, we're still, trying, ya know? We're working on the friendship thing"

"That's good; I can't imagine you two not being friends"

"Well, our friendship will never be what it used to be but, maybe, it's for the best that we start over"

"Has Maya seen Carson?"

"Of course; she Skype's with Addison every couple of days. She adores her baby brother;she did however, mention how she thinks you and I are idiots" Naomi said with a smirk

"Wait, she thinks that we're idiots?"

"Mmmhm. She said I was an idiot for being pissed at Addison for so long; she said you were an idiot for not being apart of Carson's life"

"Is that so?"

"Yeah"

"So I'm assuming that she's sided with Addison then"

"She's not taking anyone's side; she simply said that things happen. People fall in love and mistakes are made, but she said that our friendship was worth fighting for. She also said she hadn't seen you as happy as you were with Addison for, a very long time. Were you happy, with her, Sam?"

Still watching Addison and Carson, he gives the most honest reply he can.

"Yes; I was very happy with Addison"

_Washington DC 25 years ago_

"_Ma? Ma I'm home!" Sam Bennett calls out to his mother; he's decided to come home from school and visit. He's a sophomore this year, studying pre-med at Georgetown. Somehow, his mother was miraculously able to pay for his entire tuition-no student loans required._

"_Ma? You hear?" Sam calls out as he walks into the living room, only to find his mother sitting on the couch crying, her boss Raymond and his wife Mary sitting with her._

"_Ma, Ma what's wrong?"_

"_Oh, Sam; it's your sister" His mother says, choking back a sob_

_His heart immediately begins to race; something had happened to Corinne. She had started acting strange when she hit puberty but, both he and his mother thought that it was just, teenage girl hormones. However, when she began to act out both at home and at school, they knew something was wrong. No doctors could tell Dee Bennett what was wrong with her daughter, which was very upsetting. Corinne would spend the next several years in turmoil, doing things that no one understood._

"_Ma, what happened to Corinne; where is she?"_

"_I don't know, she ran off; I haven't seen her in 3 days" his mother says_

"_3 days?! Corinne has been missing, for 3 days why, why are we just sitting here!? We have to go find her!" Sam shouts; she's his baby sister, he had promised her that nothing would hurt her and that he'd always be there for her. Now she was missing and no one seemed to know anything_

"_Sam, your mother called the police already; they're looking for her, they're doing everything that they can to find her._

"_Well they're not doing enough; I'm gonna go look for her" Sam says firmly, grabbing his coat and heading out the door._

"_Sam! Sam come back!"_

_Sadly, he wouldn't find her; it would be another 25 years before he would see his beloved baby sister again. However when they did meet, the encounter would be life changing._

_St. Ambrose Psychiatric Ward 3 days earlier_

"_How's she doing?" Sam asks, sitting in a room watching his sister who sits alone; he was forced to place her here after she became too much for him to handle. He had tried everything within his power not to put here there but, after she'd attacked him then, he had no choice. For the past year, he's come to visit her but, she refuses to speak to him. He still comes and talks to her while she ignores his conversation. She only spoke once when he told her that he'd had another baby._

"_You had another baby? With who?"_

"_Addison"_

"_You mean the redhead who lives next door?"_

"_Yeah, but she doesn't live next door anymore; she moved"_

"_Oh?"_

"_Yeah"_

"_Why'd she move? I liked her"_

"_Well, things ended kinda bad between us and-"_

"_Did you promise her things and then break your promises to her, like you did me?"_

"_Corinne..."_

"_Well did you?" she asks, making him sigh_

"_I promised not to hurt her, and that nothing would ever break us up"_

"_The same promises you made to me...she let you see the baby?"_

"_No"_

"_Good, serves you right; now get out"_

"_Rinney-"_

"_No don't call me Rinney! You lost that right when you gave up on me; now go Sam! Go away!"_

_He'd left that day very upset, but he still came to see her; even if she didn't see him. That was his way of never giving up on her._

"_Dr. Bennett, she's refusing to eat or take her medication" one of the nurses explains _

"_Maybe I can talk to her"_

"_She's actually requested that you not be allowed to see her anymore"_

"_What?"_

"_She says she doesn't want to see you anymore; I'm sorry Dr. Bennett, but being that Corinne is only thought of as a threat to herself, we have to respect her wishes. You can call and make inquiries about her health but, you're not allowed to come and visit her anymore; I'm really sorry"_

"Hey Addison I, oh, sorry; I didn't know you were-"

"No, it's fine, really" Addison says; Sam had just accidentally walked in on her breastfeeding Carson. He hasn't seen much of the redhead today but, he's seen a lot of Carson though. Everyone's watched him, aside from himself and Naomi of course. He finds himself totally amazed at how Addison is able to work still. With Maya, Naomi barely made it through their first year of residency; Sam's mother had to practically move to New York to help out. Her independence was always something he'd admired about Addison.

"You sure? I mean, I could come back later"

"No, no, it's fine; he's mostly just lying here anyways" Addison says reaching down to poke the little boy's nose.

"Just gimmie a sec to get myself fixed up and we can talk" she says casually, just as she settles Carson on her lap while simultaneously fixing her dress.

"Okay, what's up?" she says, her voice somewhat happy as she pats Carson on the back trying to burp him.

"Oh uh, I needed you for a consult" Sam says reaching out and handing her the case file just as Carson tries to intercept it.

"Oh, no, no, no sweetie, that isn't for you; that, is mommy's work" she explains to the baby who looks up at her in awe

"Yeah, that's mama's work; you gonna be a good boy and let me talk to Sam? Huh?"

Carson merely babbles, a happy grin on his face in response.

Looking over the woman's file, Addison immediately notices the problem

"Oh yeah, you definitely need my help; she's 29 weeks and the baby's showing signs of what could be a heart defect. What'd her OB say?"

"He's actually the one who told me to refer her to you" Sam says just as Carson starts to whine

"Okay sweetie, you wanna get on the ground? Okay, okay, let mama set you down" Addison says to Carson, placing him in front of her so that he's near the coffee table

"Sorry about that"

"No, no, it's fine"

"You sure? Because he's usually...Carson no" Addison says, grabbing a pen and taking it from him before turning her attention back to Sam

"It's fine Addison; but my patient, what do you think?"

"Well based on the information in the file-" She starts, but is cut off by Carson banging on the table, making noise

"Sorry, he sings after he eats" she says with a chuckle as Carson continues his banging

"It's fine Addie, really"

"Well, as far as your patient goes, you should have her come in in order to have some blood work and genetic testing done"

"You think the baby could have the same thing she does?"

"It's possible that this kind of heart defect could be genetic...hold on a sec" Addison says reaching down to pick up Carson, who now wants to be in her lap again.

"You just don't know what you wanna do today do you? I guess you wanna explore mommy's office huh?" Addison says as Carson looks over at Sam and points

"That's Sam; can you say high Sam?"she asks the baby, pointing at Sam

"Hey Carson, you've gotten so big"

"Say that's because not only am I eating baby food, but I'm also still drinking breast milk" Addison says as Carson begins to bounce up and down on her lap making her groan

"Have your patient's OB call me so that we can discuss what he thinks is going on, and then when she comes in you can run some blood work and...Carson" Addison sighs just as the baby spits up on her, making her groan

"You always do this, every single time; it never fails" Addison says to Carson who looks at her innocently

"Don't give me that innocent look; you always do the bouncy thing after you eat" she says placing Carson on the sofa while she reaches over for a few napkins

"Here, lemme help you with that" Sam says grabbing a few more napkins

"Thanks"

"No problem; he seems like a handful"

"He's a busy little boy; always into some-" Addison starts but pauses as Carson nearly falls off of the couch; luckily, Sam grabs him just in time

"I think you like scaring your mama, don't you Carson?" Sam says to the little boy, who simply stares up at him.

"Hey Addie, I, oh, sorry to interrupt" Amelia says with a small smirk

"You weren't; Sam and I were discussing a patient. Hey can you, watch him for a sec?"

"Uh oh. He do the jumpy thing?" Amelia says noticing the stain on Addison's dress

"Of course he did; luckily, something told me to bring an extra outfit to work" the redhead says with a smile

"From the looks of it, you may have to get rid of that dress"

"My dry cleaner is used to things like this; though I'm curious as to know how the hell they're gonna get breast milk out of Alexander McQueen" Addison laughs before grabbing her bag and heading towards the bathroom.

Once she returns, dressed in a Stella McCarthy top and Donna Karan pants, she's surprised to find Sam sitting on her couch with Carson half dozing.

"Where's Amelia?"

"Oh, she got an emergency page from the hospital; I hope you don't mind me-"

"No, no it's, fine...he really seems to like you"

"You think so?"

"If he lets you hold him and doesn't cry, I'd say you're in good" Addison says with a laugh

"Do you need the number to call my patient's OB?"

"Yeah, sure that'd be great, thanks"

"Oh, well, it's in my office; I can go get it"

"Yeah, sure, I'll take him" Addison says reaching over to grab Carson who instantly clings to Sam, crying lightly in his sleep.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay buddy, you're okay" Sam says softly to the baby as his cries slowly reduce to a soft whimper before he falls asleep.

"You wanna follow me to my office to get it?"

"Yeah, sure, that'd be fine" Addison says, completely shocked that Carson is being so clingy with Sam. Following Sam into his office, she stands by the door as Sam somehow manages to maneuver himself and a sleeping Carson over to his desk to retrieve the phone number, just as he gets a call from the hospital.

"I've gotta go Addie"

"Is is your patient?"

"No, it's another patient; a woman in her 50's, you might remember her. I think you treated her daughter, uh, I think her name was Sharon?"

"Wait a minute, you mean Mrs. Greenwood?"

"Yeah, her"

"Right, I remember her; she was, a very lovely woman. I hope she's okay"

"If everything goes well, I'll tell her you asked about her. You know, this is gonna sound funny but..."

"What?"

"She's been asking me to see pictures of Carson" Sam says with a nervous chuckle

"Oh?"

"Yeah; apparently she heard it through the grapevine that you were pregnant. She would ask me everyday how you were doing and how the baby was doing"

"And what did you tell her?"

"I couldn't tell her anything, because I didn't know; then she found out what really happened between us and told me I was an idiot" he says with a laugh, just as Addison pulls out her cellphone

"There. I sent you a couple of pictures of him; that way you can show Mrs. Greenwood some pictures. I'm sure she'll like that; you can even tell her that you held him, for the second time" Addison says with a smile before walking towards Sam, taking Carson from him, who instantly gets fussy.

"Oh, shhh, baby, it's okay; I've got you" the redhead says gently rubbing the baby's back

"Oh, here, wait a sec; your tie's crooked" Addison says fixing it for him

"Thanks"

"No problem; oh, and thanks, for watching him for me"

"It's no problem Addison, really"

"...Well, I'll see you later; and I hope Mrs. Greenwood is okay" Addison says before walking out of his office.

As he boards the elevator, Sam suddenly has a dull ache in his chest that he can't explain. Grabbing his cellphone, he looks at the picture message Addison sent him. He finds himself smiling at the pictures of Carson; he really does seem like a happy baby. There's one picture in particular that make his eyes water just a bit. He didn't even know she'd taken it; it was the day that Carson was born. Sam is standing there holding a newborn Carson and talking to him. As he exits the elevator, he suddenly realizes that the dull ache in his chest is because he misses holding his son in his arms.

Arriving home from the hospital, Sam has had a horrible day. His patient, Mrs. Greenwood stroked out on the table during surgery. The only good thing was that he'd been able to show her the pictures of Carson and tell her of how he'd interacted with his son. After coming out of surgery, he finds his patient in the ER having suffered from a drop in pressure, causing late D-Cells for the baby. Blood tests confirmed that the baby also suffered from the same heart condition as it's mother; unfortunately, neither mother nor baby survived. The only thing that kept Sam going, was thinking of Carson and spending time with him earlier in Addison's office.

Standing on the rooftop of St. Ambrose, Sam Bennett finds himself staring at the stars that are perfectly strewn about the Los Angeles skyline. He finds himself sitting on the ledge, staring at the pictures of his smiling son. It's in those moments alone that he allows himself to cry for having been such an idiot. He wishes that in that moment that he could take back not being there for Carson, and for Addison. It wasn't an easy situation for him to be in. All throughout their relationship, Addison was the one who had gotten hurt, she was the one who had been disappointed. Not that he deserves sympathy for being an ass but, not once had she asked him what he had wanted for their relationship.

He had dealt with a lot in the time that his feelings for Addison had changed into something more. There was the thing with Maya; which was probably the most shocking thing. Plus, there was Naomi to factor into this. He knew that by dating Addison, Naomi would be pissed about it but, he was over Naomi. He loved her, deeply, but there was a reason behind his sudden divorcing her, though he's never told a soul. Everyone thinks that he just randomly divorced her but, that wasn't the case. Why would he just, randomly divorce his wife of 17 years? It made no sense, but no one had bothered to ask him why. He eventually told Addison one night after having too much to drink but after that, the redhead pretended to have no memory of the conversation.

Then, there was the biggest issue, the baby thing. For all intents and purposes, Sam wanted a baby with Addison. He could always imagine himself raising a child with her, no matter how it happened. However, there were two problems with that situation. The timing was so wrong; if she had waited until, say now to want a baby, he'd be a hundred percent in on having a baby with her. For Sam, the thought of having a baby was too soon. Especially after his own baby had gotten pregnant, gotten married and had almost been killed by a drunk driver; but no one considered how much Maya getting pregnant had affected him. No one how it affected him, because no one asked; Addison asked but, when her biological clock started ticking, it became more about what she wanted, instead of how Sam would feel about it. Yes, Sam could've said something but, he cared about Addison's happiness and, he didn't want to express how he truly felt about the situation because, if he started talking about how he really felt about Naomi walking out on their child, he'd say things he wouldn't be able to take back and would later regret if he said them. So, Sam remained neutral; was the good man in the storm. He took care of his daughter, tried to be a good boyfriend to Addison. Somehow, it wasn't enough because they had broken up twice, she'd gotten pregnant and he saw his son for the first time today since he was born nearly a year ago.

There was so much on his mind that no one knew about, there was the thing with his mother and Raymond, aka his father. The last time he'd talked to his mother, Raymond wasn't in very good shape, which made him feel guilty for not helping out his father. His father, that would sounded funny saying it. For his entire life, he was under the impression that his father was just some deadbeat. It turns out, he wasn't; how ironic that when he was a kid, Sam would wish Raymond was his father? There was so much he was dealing with that no one knew about, but then again that's what he got for bottling everything up. When he did need someone to lean on, he had no one, because no one knew him very well. To everyone, he was Sam Bennett, the former good man who had screwed over both Addison and Naomi. There was more to him than met the eye; but again, no one understood him, because he made himself so complex. Addison understood him but, she couldn't see past her own desires to be a mother that, she lost the ability to read him.

Flipping through the pictures on his android phone, he stops and stares at a particular photo that isn't of Carson. It's a photo of Sam and Corinne taken not long after she'd arrived. She was so happy when she first came to Los Angeles. They'd went to an old amusement part that day and man, did they have fun. He'd never felt so, young, alive, free from everything in a very long time. He only felt like this when he was around. So of course it was tragic for him to come home from college one day and find out that his 17 year old baby sister, his Rinney, had suddenly left home, never to be heard from until over 20 years later. Once he did find her, she wasn't that bright eyed big dream little girl he used to spends summers on the beaches of North Carolina. No, she was this blank, void, empty shell of herself; Sheldon says that it was because of the schizophrenia. Schizophrenia, it something he'd dealt with in one of his patients just weeks before Corinne had showed up.

The guy went off of his meds and had a psychotic break. Not long after Corinne arrived and had been diagnosed, Sam decided to look up the disorder and found that it could be genetic, making him even more afraid of having children with Addison, but again, he couldn't tell her that. Not only because she wouldn't listen, but because he wouldn't know how to deal with a crazy kid. Addison didn't deserve to have a baby with someone who could possibly be responsible for them having a schizophrenic kid. No, she deserved a beautiful, happy, normal baby. Speaking of babies, how could he have a baby with Addison when, he wasn't even there for Maya? Sure, he was there but, Maya lived with Naomi after the divorce and, he knew that his ex wife wasn't exactly the best person to communicate with.

He wonders if Naomi talked to Maya about sex and boys, but judging from the time when Maya got caught skipping school and wearing skimpy clothes...yeah, there was probably more of Naomi yelling and Maya trying to get her to listen but, it didn't go over well. As much as his loved Olivia, her mother, his only daughter was 19, married, in college with a 3 year old baby. That's not he'd imagined for little Maya's life to go. If he could have his way, there was would be no boy named Dink; and Olivia would've born when Maya was about 26 or so, not at 16. Staring at the picture, he finds himself wondering whether Corinne had or has kids or not. He wonders did she meet some man while she was, wherever she was. He thinks about everything Corinne missed out on and it only makes him feel guiltier for not being there for her, for not keeping his promise to her about protecting her. The shrill ringing of his cellphone tears him away from his thoughts of Corinne, Maya, Addison, Carson, Naomi and fatherhood.

"This is Dr. Bennett"

"Dr. Bennett...is Sally Marshall from St. Ambrose"

"Sally, hey how are you?"

"Dr. Bennett...I am so sorry to have to call you at this hour"

"Is everything okay Ms. Marshall?"

"It's about your sister, Corinne"

"Is my sister okay?"

"I'm so sorry Dr. Bennett but, your sister committed suicide about an hour ago; we sent in a nurse to check on her when she didn't show up for dinner and, she found her; she'd strangled herself. I'm so sorry Dr. Bennett"


	6. Your Secret is safe with Me

**Chapter 6:**

**a/n: Hey guys! Thanks for sticking with me while I write this story. I enjoy reading your reviews; they really mean a lot. I'm not exactly sure if I like this chapter or not, particularly the ending, but you guys may like it. This chapter's pretty long(14 and a half pages) and it's pretty intense. There's also a great deal of drama; ;plus, you get a bit of Corinne's POV, along with some really interesting flashbacks-including the reason why Sam divorced Naomi. As I stated before, I have plans to fix the Sam/Naomi, Addison/Naomi friendship dynamic as well as a way for Sam to interact with Carson and a way for Addison and Sam to end up together. I hope you all continue with me as I write this story, if you have any suggestions about where you'd like to see this story go, or anything else, feel free to PM me! Keep the reviews coming you guys!**

**Happy Reading!**

**Xx**

"I'm so sorry Dr. Bennett" Sally Marshall tells him.

"So, so my sister is dead? Corinne is dead?" he asks in disbelief

"Yes; we sent in someone to check on her when she didn't show up for dinner"

"Right um...have you uh-"

"We haven't, called anyone yet, to pick up the body. The nurses are still getting her cleaned up so that you can, identify her"

"I, you mean I have to, i-i-id-identify the, the body?"

"Yes; it's a standard procedure. We could have Dr. Wallace come in and-"

"No. She's my sister; she's my family not his. I'll be right there"

"Again Dr. Bennett, I am, _so_ sorry for your-"

He doesn't allow her to finish her sentence before he abruptly hangs up the phone.

"Sam? Sam there you are; I've been looking all over for you" Stephanie's voice calls out to him. He suddenly remembers that he's standing on the roof of the hospital.

"Huh?"

"Sam, is everything okay with you? You didn't forget that we have plans tonight, for dinner, did you?"

"No, no I didn't forget I just...I have, something's come up and, I have to...I have to go Stephanie; I'm really sorry" he says suddenly, quickly rushing past Stephanie, leaving her completely stunned.

_Manhattan New York, Summer 1994_

"_Addison, you're sure?"_

"_You're about 4, maybe 5 weeks; give or take a couple of days" the redhead says to her best friend. She can't believe it either neither one of them can; she's pregnant._

"_This is bad Addie, very bad" Naomi says to her best friend_

"_I know; but hey, that's what I'm here for. I'm gonna be with you the entire time-"_

"_Get rid of it"_

"_What?"_

"_I said get rid of it; and Sam can never know"_

"_Naomi, it's Sam's-"_

"_No, Addison, it isn't Sam's baby"_

"_Wait, what, Naomi...oh my God; is this-"_

"_Yes Addison now can you please, get rid of it"_

"_Wait, you want me, to perform an abortion, on you?"_

"_How hard is that to comprehend? Yes, I need you to perform an abortion, on me"_

"_I find it hard to believe because of your, religious beliefs and because of the fact that as a medical professional, you refused to even learn how to perform the procedure in med school"_

"_Addison, this is different. I know I won't be able to pass this baby off as Sam's, and honestly, I don't want to"_

"_Naomi, you need to think about this; about how much this will affect your marriage"_

"_Addison, let's not talk about anyone's marriage being affected. I seem to remember you coming to me a while back and you ending up in the stirrups"_

"_That was different and you know it; you know what happened to me and why I can't tell Derek"_

"_You should understand why me telling Sam would crush him"_

"_He deserves to know-"_

"_What? That the woman that he married cheated on him and is now having someone else's baby? No, I can't do that Addison; you may have grown up turning the other cheek but I-"_

"_Okay, whoa! You have absolutely no right to bring up my childhood into this; this situation has nothing to do with me or my family Naomi. This is about you and Sam, and how he's gonna feel once he finds out"_

"_He won't find out unless you tell him"_

"_He'll find out Naomi; they always do"_

"_Oh, so you've told Derek what happened then?"_

"_No but-"_

"_Well then, until you tell Derek, I won't tell Sam; this will just stay between the two of us"_

"_Naomi, I-"_

"_Addison, did you forget that I was there for you when you had your little, situation?"_

"_No"_

"_Then shut up and do this for me"_

"_I guess I have no choice in the matter, do I?"_

"_No, you don't...so, when can you schedule me to come in and have this taken care of?"_

"_I'm free tomorrow"_

"_Good; I'll be here at 8 sharp. The sooner I can get it over with, the better" Naomi said before sliding off of the exam table and exiting the exam room"_

* * *

St. Ambrose Hospital, Los Angeles, Present Day

(4 hours ago)

Sitting in her room, Corinne Bennett lies on her bed thinking about everything. She's angry, hurt betrayed, scared, lost, lonely. There are about 20 different emotions running through her mind. Her emotions and her thoughts are probably all over the place because she's stopped taking her medications to help with it; mood stabilizers, serotonin, the anti-depressant pills. She knew, rationalized in her head that she should be taking her pills and eating. She knew what she needed to do but, the voices in her head seemed to be so strong; they seemed to have been taking over lately. It had been this way since Sam had sent her here. She often wondered, was it because of her hurting him? She had tried to tell the voices not to hurt Sam; that he was her big brother. The voices didn't listen; they said that Sam didn't want to help her. It turns out, that the voices were true; Sam didn't want to help her, no one did. She didn't use to be this way, crazy like she is now. There was once a point in her life where she wasn't crazy, a time in her life where she had hopes and dreams. Now, she's all alone; her mother hasn't been to visit her in months as she recalls the last time she came to visit.

_She misses her mother, very much; she's only been to visit her once since Sam locked her away here. She had brought Raymond with her; Mary, his wife came too. Corinne's never been fond of them, Raymond and Mary; she'd seen the way Raymond would kiss her mother as a kid. She lost interest in Mary after a particular incident involving Kerry, her favorite nephew. _

"_Where's Kerry?" Corinne asked Mary_

"_Oh, he uh, he's married now" Mary said avoiding making eye contact with her_

"_He's married? Someone married him?"_

"_Yeah, he married a nice girl, Regina; they have 2 kids"_

"_He do to them what he did to me?" Corinne asked_

"_Rinney" Dee hissed "Don't start that again"_

"_It's true Mama! The only person who believed me was Sam and you all convinced him to put me here!"_

"_We didn't force Sam to do anything Corinne; Sam put you here on his own!"Dee told her_

"_No, Sam loves me; he wouldn't do that to me. You all did this; I tried telling him about what Kerry did to me, but no, you got into his head and he locked me away"_

"_Alright that is enough; I came to visit you after you decided to run off without a word for over 20 years and this is how you repay me? I'm leaving Corinne!"_

"_Mama! Mama wait! It's true!"_

"_Corinne!" Raymond said firmly "That's enough"_

_That was the last time Dee visited her daughter. _

Sitting on the bed looking up at the sky, she's startled when one of the nurses comes into her room.

"Corinne?"

"Yes?"

"You have a visitor"

"If it's my brother, tell him I-"

"No, it's a Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery" the nurse tells her.

Walking down the hall, Corinne finds herself face to face with the redhead, who is playing with a baby who sits on her lap.

"Addison?"

"Oh, Corinne, hey how are you?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I've been, okay"

"I don't mean to sound rude but, no one from the practice has been to visit me, aside from Sheldon and well, my brother"

"Yeah; I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I've been busy with this little guy" Addison says gesturing to the baby in her lap.

"...He looks like Sam" Corinne says, a small smile on her face

"I didn't think I'd ever see that smile ever again" Addison says

"What's his name?"

"His name is Carson; Carson Sam Bennett"

"Bennett? Does my brother know that he has his last name?"

"He knows" Addison says with a quick nod

"He told me you'd had a baby, but that you shut him out of the baby's life"

"I did what was best for my son; Sam, he's got, he doesn't know what he wants. He needs to figure that out first."

"So, you think it's okay to keep a child from its parent?"

"No, but I also think it's unfair to use a child as a pawn"

"I'm not following; Sam would never do that"

"If Sam wanted to be here, he would be" Addison says, making Corinne laugh

"You sounded like my mother there for a second; she always said that about our father"

"Sam's a good man, and I know that he'd be here for Carson; but I want him to be here, because he wants to be, not out of obligation."

"That makes sense; if you don't mind me asking-"

"Why am I really here?"

"And with a baby no less; you do realize that this is a mental ward, right?"

"I know; my son deserves to meet his only aunt"

"His only aunt?"

"Mmhm; I only have a brother so, you're his only aunt. His only biological aunt anyways"

"I'm sure he's got other women at the practice who act as his aunt but-"

"It's not the same as having an actual aunt"

"You didn't have aunts growing up?"

"I did; but we weren't exactly close"

"Hmmm"

"There's also another reason I'm here"

"Ah, I knew that there was more to it than you just wanting me to see the baby; go on"

"I wanted to talk to you about Sam" Addison says, making Corinne sigh

"I don't wanna talk about Sam"

"He didn't want to put you here"

"But he did"

"We talked to him, convinced him to"

"Why?"

"Corinne, if Sam could've taken care of you, he would've but, you hurt him"

"I didn't do it on purpose, it was the voices"

"He says that he had to use physical force to get you to take your pills"

"Once"

"He shouldn't have had to do that"

"I know, but those pills, you don't know what they do to me Addison"

"Corinne, they're supposed to help you"

"They don't"

"If you get off your meds-"

"I know the risks, I know the side effects"

"Sam only wants the best for you, but by forbidding him to see you, well that hurts him"

"I didn't think you two talked"

"We don't; Sheldon told me" Addison says with a smile

"I don't like it here Addison"

"St. Ambrose is a good hospital"

"I don't feel safe here; these people, they're not friendly, they're...I don't like it here"

"That's something you'd have to talk to Sam about, but that would require you talking to him"

"You care about my brother, I like that"

"Sam and I were friends for over twenty years, he was my best friend and he's my son's father; I'm always going to love him"

"But on a romantic level?"

"Sam and I have, tried, and failed, several times at the whole relationship thing. This little boy is the best thing that ever became of us being a couple" Addison says, leaning down to kiss Carson on the head.

"He really is adorable"

"Thank You"

"...Can I, can I, hold him?"

"Sure"

"You're going to let me, a crazy woman-"

"Corinne, you're not crazy"

"Addison, I have schizophrenia; I'm crazy"

"I trust you with him; he's your family. He's a part of Sam; I trust that you won't hurt him" she says passing the baby over to Corinne. The feeling of holding a baby in her arms is the most soothing thing she's ever felt. The feeling is enough to bring tears to her eyes; she looks down at her nephew who is smiling at her.

"Corinne, are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah it's just, I wanna get better, so that I can have a baby" she says, looking down at Carson, speaking softly to him.

"You, are by far the cutest baby I have _ever_ seen Carson, yes you are" Addison says to her 10 month old son who simply babbles in response.

"I love you, I love you so much sweetheart. I would do, _anything_ for you; I'd give my life for you. I don't ever want you forget that Carson" she says to the baby who looks up at her with wide eyes.

"You know, your daddy and I make some cute babies" Addison tells Carson who laughs in response

"We do; because you, are proof of that; but, can mama be honest? Your daddy's an idiot for leaving you, and me. He should be here, watching you grow up just like I am; but he's got a lot going on in his head right now. I promise you though, that until he gets himself together, I am going to love you, enough for the both of us. Your father may not actually be here, but I promise you that you will feel the love from the both of us, because I'm gonna love you just that much" she says, pressing kisses onto Carson's cheek, making him squeal with laughter just as her cell phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Addison?"

"Stephanie?"

"I'm sorry for calling so late but-"

"No it's, it's fine; what's up?"

"It's about Sam"

"What about Sam?"

"Something's wrong with him"

"What do you mean?"

"He's, he's not himself right now; he's up on the roof of the hospital, threatening to jump. I've tried talking to him, Naomi's tried talking to him...I don't know what to do"

"Why is he-"

"I don't know but, he's asking for Carson; he keeps saying he wants to see Carson" Stephanie tells her

Addison's heart begins to beat faster; what was really going on? Sam seemed fine earlier when she'd saw him concerning his patient. In fact, when he held Carson, that was the happiest that she'd seen him in a long time. Now all of a sudden, Sam was on the roof top of St. Ambrose, threatening to jump? She looks down at Carson, who is now settled in her arms, staring up at her, ironically looking just like his father.

"Uh, Carson's actually half asleep right now and-" She pauses as she hears Stephanie scream; it makes her heart pound a little bit faster.

"Stephanie, is everything okay?"

"He's standing on the ledge; Addison, please hurry"

"Okay, okay, I'm on my way right now" the redhead says standing up, immediately looking for her car keys.

"Come on sweetie, we have to go see what's wrong with your daddy" Addison says to Carson as she bundles him up in his coat, grabbing his baby bag and her keys before walking out of her apartment.

"God, please let him be okay; we can't lose him"

* * *

_Washington DC, Spring 1981_

"_Mama, do you have to go to work?" 10 year old Corinne asks her mother as she braids her hair_

"_Yes, I do; because if I don't work, what happens?" Dee Bennett prompts her daughter_

"_You won't have a job"_

"_And if I don't have a job?"_

"_We don't have money and we can't buy food and we won't have a place to live and I won't be able to keep taking dance" Corinne says with a sigh_

"_That's right Rinn; you know if I didn't have to go to work I wouldn't. I would stay at home with you and take you to all of your practices" Dee says, kissing her little girl's cheek_

"_I know mama, I know" the little girls says with an understanding nod_

"_Now c'mon, you don't wanna be late for your class"_

"_Alright Rinn, Kerry's gonna come and pick you up after your class is done; now you stay with him, you understand?" Dee instructs her daughter as she drops her off at Ballet class_

"_Yes Mama but,-"_

"_But what Corinne?"_

"_Why can't Sam pick me up?"_

"_Because Sam had a science project that he had to finish and he's over at Reggie's house"_

"_When will he be back?"_

"_He'll be back in time for dinner now, be good for Kerry alright? I love you"_

"_I love you too mama"_

"_Okay baby, have a good practice; learn some fancy twirls for mama!"_

"_I will! Maybe I can teach you how to dance!"_

"_Oh I'm sure you'll have me waltzing by the time you get married!"_

_Practice ends at exactly 2:30 sharp and Kerry is standing there waiting on her, magazine in hand._

"_Hey Kerry"_

"_What's up little Rinny? You ready to hang out with me for the afternoon?"_

"_Mmhm" Corinne nods_

_It doesn't take them long to reach the apartment building that Corinne lives in. However this time, Kerry takes her hand, walking past their apartment._

"_Kerry, where are we going?"_

"_Oh, we're gonna go hang out with a couple of my friends for a little while, that cool?"_

"_But mama said-"_

"_What your mama doesn't know won't hurt her, will it? Besides, you like hanging with me, don't you Rinney?"_

"_...Yeah"_

"_Then c'mon, let's have a little bit of fun"_

_It turns out, that fun for Kerry was getting Corinne high; unfortunately, the weed was laced with PCP. Though she'd only took one puff before deciding that she didn't want anymore, that one puff was enough to do lasting damage on her, psychologically. _

"_Kerry, I don't like this; I wanna go home" Corinne whines a short time later_

"_Alright Rinn, alright, I'll take you home" Kerry says_

_Kerry's friend Josh's house is just a block away from the apartments so they are home in no time._

"_Well, Sam should be home soon so, I'm gonna go inside now Kerry" Corinne tells him_

"_No, no, no, your mama said to wait with you until Sam got home" Kerry says, moving closer to Corinne._

"_It's okay; Sam will be here soon"_

"_I gotta follow your mama's rules and stay until Sam gets here; don't you want me to stay Rinn?"_

"_It's fine Kerry, really"_

"_I thought you liked me?" Kerry says moving even closer to Corinne_

"_I do but-"_

"_You know, you are so pretty Corinne; anybody ever tell you that?" Kerry asks, reaching out and touching her cheek_

"_Mama tells me that, and Mr. Raymond too"_

"_Raymond tells you that because he's supposed to"_

"_Why?"_

"_That's what all daddies tell their little girls"_

"_Mr. Raymond isn't my daddy"_

"_Yes he is; why do you think he's so nice to you and Sam?"_

"_...That's not true, it's not"_

"_Yes it is; that's why your mama is always working those extra shifts"_

"_No, mama said our daddy wasn't here because-"_

"_He's married Corinne" Kerry says making the little girl cry_

"_That's not true; I don't want you here anymore Kerry, go home!"_

"_Oh, now I can't do that; I've gotta stay here, your mama said so" Kerry says, pulling Corinne closer to him_

"_Kerry, let go of me"_

"_Why should I do that? You're too pretty for me to just, let you go" Kerry mutters, his hands roaming all over Corinne's small body_

"_Kerry, stop it!"_

"_I can't do that Corinne; you're just, too pretty" he says, pushing her into the wall_

"_Kerry! Kerry stop it! Leave me alone!"_

"_Mmmm, no; I can't leave you alone" Kerry mutters, unbuckling his pants_

"_No! Stop! Help! Sam! Sam!"_

"_Shut up! Sam isn't here to save you! Just relax, and take it" Kerry says softly._

_Sam arrives home a short time later, noticing that the front door to the apartment is open._

"_Hello?"_

"_Corinne?" The 13 year old calls out but gets no response_

"_Rinn? Rinn I'm home"_

_The silence in the apartment scares him a bit. Walking through the apartment, he becomes increasingly alarmed that his sister is nowhere to be found. His mother had told him that Kerry would pick up Corinne from dance class and stay with her until he got home. Now, his sister nor her baby sitter are nowhere to be found._

"_Corinne?" Sam calls out; it isn't until he hears a small squeak coming from the hall closet that he finds his sister._

"_Rinney? Rinn what happened to you?" Sam asks taking in his sister's tear strained face and torn ballet clothes._

"_Corinne, what happened? Rinney, you can tell me" Sam says softly, _

"_K-Kerry" Corinne sniffles_

"_What about Kerry?"_

"_He, he, he hurt me"_

"_What did he do?" Sam asks, anger in his voice; Corinne is so scared that she has to whisper what happened, just as their mother came home from work._

"_Sam! Corinne! I'm home! Hey, what are you two doing in the, Corinne, baby what's wrong?"_

"_N-nothing mama" Corinne says softly_

"_Yes it is mama, Kerry-"_

"_NO IT'S NOT!"_

"_Kerry what Sam? Corinne, what did Kerry do? Did he hurt you?" Dee asks_

"_Sam, what happened?"_

"_I came home from Reggie's house and Kerry wasn't here; I found Rinn in the closet" _

"_Did she say what happened?"_

"_Yeah"_

"_Well what the hell happened?" Dee asks as Sam tells her exactly what Corinne had told him_

"_Oh my God, Corinne, how could you lie like that!"_

"_What?!" Sam shouts_

"_But Mama I'm not lyin!"_

"_Yes you are Corinne, you are lying! Did you let some boy come in here and do something to you and then lie on Kerry?"_

"_Mama, you know Rinney would never-"_

"_Be quiet Sam, I am asking your sister"_

"_No mama, I didn't"_

"_Corinne Savannah Bennett, don't you dare lie to me"_

"_I'm not mama it's true! He said that Mr. Raymond was my daddy!" Corinne shouts just as Dee slaps her_

"_That is a lie! That is a lie!"_

"_But I saw you kiss him one time!" Corinne yells, making her mother slap her again_

"_Mama, mama stop!" Sam says _

"_I don't ever wanna hear talk about this, these lies again Corinne, do you understand me?"_

"_But mama I-"_

"_I said DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"_

"_Yes Mama" Corinne whimpers_

Lying in her bed, all Corinne can think about, is Carson and how cute he is. The thought of the little boy makes her smile; she could have a baby, couldn't she? Addison was supposedly the best OBGYN out there and Sam's ex wife was some fertility hot shot, and then there was Jake. With those 3, Corinne knew that she could have a baby of her own; but first, she'd have to get better. The bigger question was how? She could pin point the exact moment that the voices started talking to her; she was 10. It happened when Kerry gave her that cigarette(weed) to smoke. While she was living in Colorado, she had read research that sometimes when a cigarette(Weed) is laced with drugs like PCP, it can cause mental disorders such as Schizophrenia; she had also read that when a traumatic experience happens to a person, like say rape, it can have factors that eventually can lead to mental disorders

Now that she thought about it, up until that moment with Kerry, she was a happy precocious child. It wasn't until after everything with Kerry that she began to change. Maybe Carson was her cure to being better, because she wanted to be better, she really did. Addison's words suddenly rang through her head about Sam.

"_He didn't want to put you here"_

"_But he did"_

"_We talked to him, convinced him to"_

"_Why?"_

"_Corinne, if Sam could've taken care of you, he would've"_

Sam really was a good big brother; he was the only one who believed her when it came down to the voices and what happened with Kerry. He was the only one she had in her life who meant something to her. It was Sam who found her; Sam, Sam was the key. Suddenly, a heaviness falls over her, and the voices begin to speak.

"_Sam doesn't love you; no one does"_

"_Sam put you here, forgot about you"_

"_No one would help you have a baby; you're a crazy person"_

"No, no I'm not; I can get better, I can"

"_Can you really get better?"_

"I can get better, I can beat this and when I do, I'm gonna have a baby, just like Carson"

"_You? Have a baby? Ha! That's not going to happen; that's never going to happen. You're too damaged to have a baby. Remember Kerry? Remember what he did to you?"_

"That doesn't mean anything"

"_It's the reason you went crazy in the first place; it's the reason your mother didn't believe you. Remember how hard she slapped you?"_

"No, stop, leave me alone, please; I just wanna get better"

"_Better? Ha! You can't get better; you belong to me. You do as I say"_

"No, no stop! I can beat this, I can get better, I can call Sam and-"

"_You told Sam you didn't wanna see him, remember?" The voice tells her as it begins to laugh._

She sits alone in her room, crying silently to herself, thinking of how she's isolated herself from everyone in her life. She cries out of hopelessness, out of despair. She cries over her broken dreams, over what Kerry took from her. She feels as if she's all alone, and she is"

"_Just end it, end your life; no one wants you. You'll never be able to have a baby...you have nothing. Just kill yourself already" The voice tells her_

She tries as hard as she can but, the voice wins; Corinne finds a belt, ties it around her neck and squeezes, until she passes out on the ground seeing darkness, followed by a bright light...

* * *

It's cold in Los Angeles for it to be November; it's colder than usual as she gets out of her car, Carson on her hip. She takes quick strides into St. Ambrose where she's immediately greeted by Charlotte.

"Shouldn't you be at home with the triplets and Mason?"

"Cooper's with them; why'd you bring Carson?"

"Stephanie said Sam was asking for him"

"Addison, this is a suic-"

"No, it's not. I can fix this"

"Addison-"

"He's my son's father and I am not about to allow him to kill himself...what the hell happened today?"

"I don't know"

"I saw him earlier today and he was fine" Addison says holding Carson a little bit tighter

"I'm sure he'll be fine Addison" Charlotte says, placing a hand on the redhead's arm before allowing her to head up to the rooftop

"I hope so too Charlotte, I hope so too" Addison says to herself as she gets on the elevator.

The wind seems to be so much higher now that she's actually on the roof of St. Ambrose. Pulling her son closer to her, Addison slowly approaches her group of colleagues.

"Addison, thank God you're here!" Naomi says

"What's going on Nae?"

"I don't know, Stephanie says he's been rambling like this for at least a few hours; he won't really talk to anybody"

"He keeps asking for you, and for Carson" Stephanie says quietly

"Um, could you, take Carson for a moment?"

"Oh, sure"

Walking over to the ledge where Sam is, she shoves her hands into her coat.

"Sam, Sam what's wrong?" she asks softly

"I told her I'd protect her; I failed her, just like I failed you" Sam says blankly as he stares out at the Los Angeles sky

"Sam, who'd you let down?"

"I was supposed to protect her, I promised her I would"

"Sam, Sam look at me; who did you promise to protect?"

"Corinne" Sam says finally turning to face her

"Sam, did something happen to Corinne?"

"She killed herself a few hours ago"

"Sam, that can't be right" Addison says shaking her head in disbelief

"I had to ide-identify her body, Addison"

"No, that can't be right; I came to see her today and I brought Carson with me and-"

"You went to see her?"

"Yeah, I did; it was after you left. She said she wanted to get better"

"Why'd you go and see her?"

"I just, after you left I, I felt so, guilty, about Carson not knowing his family and-"

"No, you shouldn't have to feel guilty; I should"

"Sam-"

"No, I fell in love with you, I promised you things and then I broke those promises and I hurt you. I hurt our son by pretending that he didn't exist; you had every right to not let me see him"

"Sam-"

"I am, so sorry Addie, for everything. I am, I'm so sorry; I messed up, I made mistakes and I'm sorry"

"...Stephanie said you were asking for Carson"

"I needed to see him because seeing him in your office today and holding him...Addison, I need to be in my son's life. I can't let him down anymore, please"

"Why don't you let Stephanie take you home, get you sobered up; I'll bring Carson by first thing in the morning to see you"

"You promise?"

"Yeah, just, don't go trying to kill yourself anymore; you scared me" Addison says, pulling him in for a hug

"I did?" Sam asks, pulling back to take a good look at her

"You may have done some, stupid, stupid things but, we've been friends for over 20 years; we have a son together. I am, always going to care about you Sam"

Knocking on the door to Sam's house the following morning, Addison is surprised to find Naomi opening the door.

"Naomi, hey"

"Hey Addison"

"Not to be rude but um-"

"Why am I here?" Naomi asks with a smile

"Yeah"

"Sam asked me to come over, plus, he gave Stephanie a hard time last night; I sent her home to get some sleep...wow he's, getting bigger everyday" Naomi says looking over at Carson

"Yeah, he's growing like crazy"

"Perfect excuse for you to go shopping huh?" Naomi says with a chuckle

"You know me, I love to shop" Addison laughs softly

"So, come on in; Sam's out on the deck"

"At this hour?"

"Stephanie said he didn't really sleep much last night"

"I'm sure he didn't; it's still hard to believe, about Corinne"

"I know; I met her, once. Sam showed me pictures of her while we were married"

"She talked to me about, wanting to get better"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she said she wanted to have a baby"

"Really?"

"Yeah; she seemed so, comfortable when she held Carson"

"Well, Carson's an easy going baby" Naomi says reaching out to gently touch the baby's cheek, causing him to coo at her"

"Oh wow, he is definitely Sam Bennett's son; a lady charmer already" Naomi says with a laugh

"He definitely is, you should see how the women in the apartment swoon over him" Addison laughs just as they arrive out on the deck.

"Hey Addie" Amelia greets from next door, a huge smile on her face

"Amelia, hey" Addison says moving towards the fence that separated Sam's house and her old place

"It seems like he's gotten bigger" Amelia says reaching over the fence to tickle Carson

"You just saw him at the practice yesterday" Addison says with a smirk

"You know, I could see him more if you, you know"

"Amelia...how about we take things one step at a time, okay?"

"Fine, but you know I'm gonna want some time with my favorite nephew before you leave right?"Amelia says with a smile

"I already know this; I'll see you later?"

"Yeah; make sure he's okay"

"I will" Addison says before heading towards where Sam sat out on his deck.

* * *

"Hey" Addison says with a smile as she settles Carson on her lap

"Hey, hey there little man" Sam says, a huge smile spreading on his face as he looks at Carson, who eagerly opens his arms, wanting Sam to hold him

"He really likes you" Addison says quietly, watching Carson stare at Sam in wonder

"I didn't think he'd like me" Sam says grinning at his son

"I didn't think he would either; he's usually not so friendly with other people, but maybe you're the exception" Addison says as Naomi joins them on the deck

"Wow, I swear, those two could pass for twins" Naomi says with a laugh

"They really could pass for twins; you should see the way he eats" Addison laughs

"Just like Sam?"

"Exactly like him"

"You know, he does have your eyes Addie"

"Everyone says that; it's probably the only thing he got from me"

"He's got your color" Sam says as Carson stands up in his lap"

"Uh oh" Addison chuckles

"What?"

"He's about to do the bouncy thing"

"Bouncy thing?"

"Yeah; after he eats, he likes to bounce around, which usually leads to him throwing up"

"You mean like this" Sam says turning so that Addison and Naomi could see the throw up that was on his shirt

"Oh yeah, most definitely like that" Addison laughs

"Do you, remember the night we were out on the deck?"

"Sam, we spent a lot of time out on the deck"

"No, you know what night I'm talking about; when I told you the truth, Naomi?"

"Sam-"

"What truth about me?" Naomi asks, walking towards the pair

"Nothing, it's nothing"

"No, it's not nothing Addison; what truth did Sam tell you about me?" Naomi asks

"I told her the truth about why I divorced you" Sam says, not bothering to look at his ex wife

"What truth? You said that you weren't in love with me anymore, that's why you divorced me"

"How much longer do I have to pretend that I don't know what happened?"

"Sam, what the hell are you talking about?"

"In med school; I'm not stupid Naomi. I know what happened"

"What?"

"I know about the abortion Naomi"

"Sam how did you-"

"I know everything; that's why I left you"

"You, you told him?" Naomi says turning to Addison

"I didn't tell him Nae, I swear!"

"How the hell did he find out then!?"

"He said he found out when you had the procedure done, for your cysts"

"And you've known, all this time the real reason why he divorced me?"

"Naomi, I-"

"Did I tell Derek about what happened with Kip Smith and how you got chlamydia?!"Naomi shouts

"You _know_ what happened with Kip wasn't my fault! You _know_ that!"Addison says through gritted teeth

"Naomi! That is enough! The reason why I divorced you is because I knew about the abortion. How could you abort our child like that!?"

"Sam, I-"

"It wasn't, the baby...Sam, it wasn't yours" Addison says, making Naomi gasp

"What?"

"That baby, it wasn't yours; it was James Prescott's baby"

"Addison shut up, shut up right now!"

"No, no it wasn't; Naomi wouldn't do that to me, no"

"Sam, I have no reason to lie about this; I did the abortion. The date of contraception was the night of James' party" Addison says

* * *

_Columbia University 1994_

_She had a fight with Sam; a stupid fight with Sam. They were supposed to be getting married in a few weeks and the were fighting. It wasn't clear exactly what started the fight, but a fight ensued with Sam being very upset and not speaking, while Naomi suppressed her feelings with food, and liquor. By the time they had made it to James' party, Naomi was well past her alcohol limit, but that didn't stop her from drinking even more once she got inside. She saw the expression of anger on Sam's face as she flirted with James, but she was too drunk to care._

"_Naomi, aren't you supposed to be getting married to Sam in a few weeks" James says in between kissing her as they fall back onto a bed in a room somewhere in the house_

"_Fuck him; he's an idiot and right now, right now I want you"she mutters against his lips_

_Los Angeles 2006_

_Pacing the floors of St. Ambrose Hospital, Sam Bennett waited for word about his wife. She went to see her Gynecologist for a routine check up. A routine check up turned into cysts that needed to be biopsied to determine whether or not they were cancerous. They had been considering having a second child for quite some time now; but with the practice doing so great when it first opened up, they had to put that dream on hold. Now that things were more settled with their job and Maya was now almost 12, the subject of another child had been brought to the table once again. Though Naomi had insisted that she would be fine with just, one child, it was Sam who said he wanted a son. _

"_Dr. Reynolds, how is she?" Sam asks Naomi's doctor_

"_Your wife's gonna be just fine Dr. Bennett" the older woman tells him_

"_So what about us trying for another baby?"_

"_You see now that would be tricky"_

"_How so?"_

"_Well, sometimes, when a woman terminates a pregnancy, it can-"_

"_Wait what, what do you mean a terminated pregnancy?"_

"_I'm referring to your wife's abortion, 12 years ago"_

"_No, no, no, no. I'm sorry Dr. Reynolds but, I think you may have the wrong patient information"_

"_No, Dr. Bennett; I have the information right here including the doctor who performed the procedure; a Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery" the woman says handing him the files _

"_Addison performed this abortion?" Sam says in disbelief_

"_You know her?"_

"_Yeah, I've known her since medical school; she's a friend of the family" _

"_...Dr. Bennett, please tell me you were aware of this"_

"_If I was do you think that I'd be this upset?"_

"_I'm so sorry Dr. Bennett; I thought that you knew"_

"_No, I didn't"_

_3 and a half Years Later_

_Sitting out on the deck of his house, Sam Bennett stares out at the ocean. It had been a rough couple of days for him; his daughter Maya had told him that she was pregnant. The irony of it all, was that her mother pretty much ordered her to have an abortion, which Addison was to perform. However, Maya made the decision that she wanted to have her baby, causing Naomi to walk out on her. Now, his 15 year old daughter was upstairs asleep in his spare bedroom because her mother was refusing to talk to her or speak to her. Sam desperately wanted to say something, call Naomi out on this issue, but he didn't; he could have, but that wasn't the type of man he was. He knew all about her aborting their child all those years ago back in New York but, he chose not to say anything about it. Instead, he waited a few months and told her that he was no longer happy in their marriage and wanted a divorce. He thought that announcing that he wanted a divorce would prompt his wife to question why he would do such a thing. However, it didn't; Naomi quickly filed for divorce and that was that. Now that Maya, their own daughter was pregnant, he thought that it would prompt Naomi to say something about the abortion; it didn't. As a result, he found himself staring at the ocean while drinking._

"_You okay?" Addison asked, causing Sam to turn his head _

_Looking at her felt funny now, especially after knowing that she had a part in making sure that he didn't have anymore children. Staring at the redhead, he somehow suspects that she didn't perform that abortion without hesitation; Addison always did have a soft spot for him._

"_You know it's funny, Naomi trying to force Maya to have an abortion, when she claims that abortion is wrong and how she would never perform one. You want a beer?" Sam says holding one out to her._

"_Uh, no thanks; it is pretty ironic, Naomi trying to force Maya to have an abortion" Addison says. He could tell by the sudden tenseness in her voice that this was an uncomfortable situation for her_

"_I'm sure that you must have had, conflicting emotions; being that Naomi's your best friend, I'm your friend and Maya is your goddaughter"_

"_Mmhm; you know, I think I will have that beer now" Addison says, taking the bottle from Sam, quickly putting it to her lips_

"_It was wrong of Naomi, to put you in such a, compromising position"_

"_It wouldn't be the first time" Addison mutters_

"_Kind of like in New York how she made you perform that abortion on her" Sam says out of the blue, making Addison choke on her beer, causing the glass to shatter on the deck_

"_Wh-what did you say?"_

"_You heard what I said Addison; I know about what happened in New York"_

"_Who, who told you? Did Naomi-"_

"_Why do you think I divorced her Addison?"_

"_Sam, how did you find out about that?"_

"_When she had the procedure, to see if the cysts were cancerous or not. We had been thinking about having another baby, but the doctor said that because of her previous abortion that it could be difficult"_

"_Sam, does she-"_

"_Again, why do you think I divorced her?"_

"_Sam, I am so-"_

"_No just, how could you do something like that Addison!?"_

"_Sam, it was, complicated"_

"_What was so damn complicated about it?"_

"_Sam-"_

"_No, what kind of dirt did Naomi have on you? What did she help you cover up?"_

"_...The fact that I was, nothing; Sam it's nothing"_

"_What happened Addison?" his tone is no longer accusatory, but a more concerned tone_

"_Something, something happened to me, back in med school and, Naomi helped me through it and I made her swear not to tell Derek about it and in return, I promised her that I would do her any favor she wanted" _

"_You didn't cheat on Derek did you?"_

"_No! God no! Mark was the only...I didn't cheat on Derek in med school"_

"_So what was so bad that you had to help my wife hide an abortion from me?"_

"_Do you, remember that party we went to?"_

"_Addison, we went to a lot of parties our last semester of med school"_

"_No, I mean that one party where they found Kip Smith upstairs and he had been beaten up really bad?"_

"_Oh yeah and he pressed charges on Mark, saying that he was responsible for it?"_

"_Yeah; Mark was responsible for beating up Kip"_

"_I don't understand; Kip dropped the charges"_

"_Because I told him to"_

"_But why'd you-"_

"_Because I told him that if he pressed charges on Mark then I'd be forced to tell the police the reason why Mark beat him up" Addison says, turning away from Sam, staring over at her own beach house_

"_Addison why...oh my God. Addison, did Kip-" _

"_Yes"_

"_Addison, why didn't you-"_

"_Sam can we, not talk about this, please?"_

"_Addison-"_

"_Drop it Sam"_

"_Addie-"_

"_Goddammit Sam let it go! I'm sorry, for what I did but, can we, please just, pretend that this conversation never, ever happened?" she practically screams at him before quickly walking over to her own house, slamming her screen door. _


	7. Therapy

**I apologize for the long wait; I had to figure out how to come back from the way I ended chapter 6. Plus, I've really been working on my OUAT fic. Truthfully, I'm not satisfied with this chapter. I think it's the way I ended chapter 6, with that big cliffhanger which made it pretty hard to come back from; let's all hope chapter 8 is better. This chapter is pretty boring because it's mostly Sam in a therapy session with Violet. I'm really trying to take my time with Sam in this story, because I don't think he just, woke up one morning and turned into an ass. I plan on exploring him so that he doesn't seem like such a jerk. I have to give lots of love to FlySkyHigh85 for her reviews. She makes me dig deeper into the whole Sam/Naomi/Addison friendship and look for ways, not to justify anyone's actions, but for there to be some type of understanding as to why certain things have happened. At this point I can't say how long this story will be, but I do hope that you all stick around and continue reading and reviewing!**

**Xx**

Sitting on the couch in her office makes him very uncomfortable; he doesn't even understand why he's here. Of course he gets _why_ he's here-he threatened to jump off of the hospital building; but the purpose as to why_ she's_ his therapist, now _that _he _doesn't_ get.

"Okay so, you decided to come and talk to me because..."

"My sister committed suicide and, right now my life's a mes and because I had no choice"

"Okay, let's start from the beginning; let's talk about your marriage to Naomi"

"Violet, you were there; you saw my marriage to Naomi. When it was good, it was good" Sam says quietly

"I only saw what you two allowed everyone to see" Violet says to him

"Okay, my marriage to Naomi was perfect, until..."

"Until?"

"Until it wasn't; look this is stupid"

"Sam, you know you can't work or perform surgery until this psych evaluation is done"

"How are you even able to do a psych eval on me? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?You know, with me being your boss and all?" Sam asks

"Well technically, you're not my boss, Addison is"

"So did she put you up to this?"

"She asked me to do an initial evaluation but, I don't make the final assessment on whether or not you go back to work"

"Then who does?"

"I'm going to do an initial assessment and then I'll recommend you to one of my colleagues"

"As long as it isn't one of those idiots that's out to push pills and make a quick buck" Sam mutters

"Do you really think I'd send you off to some whack job shrink Sam?"

"I honestly don't know what to think anymore Violet" Sam says with a sigh

"Alright, let's start with something simple then: what happened when you invited Addison and Naomi over to visit the other day?"

"I told Naomi the truth about why I divorced her"

"And what about Addison? Amelia said she was pretty upset about something that prompted her to call her ex husband"

"Wait, she called Derek?"

"That's what Amelia said"

"Did she say what Addie told Derek?"

"No, but she did say that Addison was going to Seattle for a while"

"She's gonna tell Derek what happened"

"What happened to Addison, Sam?" Violet asks, making Sam sigh

"Well, apparently, when we were in med school, this guy, Kip Smith...I think he did something to Addison but, she doesn't talk about it"

"Does Naomi know?"

"Yeah but, you know how their friendship is these days; I wouldn't' even consider it a friendship"

"Did you ever think about how you dating Addison would affect she and Naomi's friendship?"

"No; Addison and Naomi's friendship, it isn't what you think"

"What do you mean?"

"They're more like, frenemies"

"Frenemies?"

"Yeah, it was always a competition between the two of them; one couldn't out do the other or else that would be bad for their friendship"

"So they're basically jealous of each other?"

"Yes, no, I don't know; their friendship is hard to explain"

"Well, a frenemy is someone who's your friend, but they do things, say mean things, or act a certain way towards you but, you're able to overlook all of that because there's such a rich history of good friendship there. Would you say that describes Addison and Naomi's friendship?"

"Oh yeah, most definitely"

"How'd they end up as frenemies?"

"You see, that's the thing; I don't know. One minute they're the best of friends and then, all sorts of crazy stuff starts happening and then they're keeping secrets for one another and covering for one another"

"What made you fall in love with Addison?" Violet asks, causing Sam to get very quiet

"Sam?"

"I asked her out first"

"What?"

"Addison, in medical school; I was the first guy to ask her out, before Derek"

"You asked Addison out?"

"Yeah, but she turned me down"

"Why?"

"Why do you think she turned me down?"

"Oh. So, Naomi liked you then and Addison didn't?"

"I don't know if Addison liked me or not; I thought she was beautiful and I mean we'd hung out together a few times before that-"

"Just you two or, as a group of friends"

"I mean she and I studied together a couple of times, but mostly we hung out as a group; but when it was just us, there was something there Violet"

"So how'd you end up married to Naomi?"

"Addison said no"

"So instead of trying to pursue Addison, you settled for her best friend?"

"No! No! Let me make something perfectly clear to you about Naomi; I have always thought Naomi was attractive. I thought she was an amazing woman, she's smart, funny, one of the kindest people I know..."

"But?"

"There are sides to Naomi, things about her...she's complicated. It's like, she has to overcompensate by being perfect"

"What do you mean?"

"Naomi's more complex than she looks. On the outside, to everyone else she's all put together; inside, there are deeper levels to Naomi that people don't get to see"

"Okay, let's elaborate on that; what happened with your marriage?" Violet asks, causing Sam to sigh and lean back on her couch.

"Sam?" Violet calls out as he holds up a hand, closing his eyes

"...She had an abortion"

"What?"

"Not long after we got married, she had an abortion, and I didn't find out about it until years later"

"So Naomi was pregnant with-"

"No, not my child; someone else's child"

"What? Sam, you're not-"

"Ask Addison; she performed the abortion"

"Sam, okay, how about we start from the beginning"

"No"

"What?"

"I'm done with this; I don't wanna talk about this anymore"

"Sam, Addison said-"

"I don't care what Addison said! I'm not talking about this anymore. If you wanna know what happened, ask Addison and Naomi!" Sam shouts before walking out of Violet's office and slamming the door.

xx

Seattle

Standing outside of the hospital, Addison Forbes Montgomery looks up at the sign; she remembers when this was Seattle Grace Hospital, and then Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. Now, it was Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital.

"It's weird huh? Seeing the sign say Grey-Sloan isn't it?" Callie Torres says causing Addison to turn around.

"Callie! It's good to see you!" the redhead says with a huge smile as she hugs her friend.

"It's good to see you too" Callie says before turning her attention to the little boy in the stroller

"Oh Addie, he's gorgeous; pictures and Skype do not do this kid justice" Callie says as she picks Carson up out of his stroller.

"How's it going, back in LA?" Callie asks as the women head inside the hospital

"Messy; very, very messy" Addison mutters as she stops inside the entrance

"I'm sure it is very mes...oh, Addie..." Callie says softly as Addison turns to look at the large painting of Mark, gently running her hand along the photo.

"I haven't been here since this place was Seattle Grace Mercy West" Addison says quietly, looking at the picture of Mark and smiling fondly.

"I miss him" Callie tells her

"Yeah, me too; I don't think there's a day that goes by that I don't miss him"

"Sofia's starting to look like him"

"Really?"

"Yeah, do you know yesterday she flashed me his smirk?"

"Oh God, how was that?"

"I had to go into the bathroom and cry for half an hour" Callie says, causing the redhead to wrap an arm around her friend just as Miranda Bailey walks towards them

"Addison Montgomery; I was beginning to think that I'd never see you again" Bailey says with a huge smile on her face as the redhead leans forward to give her a hug

"Miranda, it's good to see you"

"Good to see you too; now, what are you doing in Seattle?"

"She's hiding from her LA problems" Callie informs Bailey

"I am not _hiding_ from my LA problems"

"Oh? What's going on in LA?"

"Baby Daddy drama" Callie says

"It is not Baby Daddy Drama; and don't call him that! I don't like that word, Baby Daddy"

'That's what he is Addison; he's your baby's father. Speaking of babies, what are you feeding this boy? The last time I saw him he wasn't this big" Bailey says as she takes Carson from Callie

"He now has baby food, along with breast milk"

"You still breastfeeding?"

"Yes"

"He must not be teething yet"

"Oh he is"

"And you're still...how in the world do you do it?"

"He's attached; I've tried, _believe me. _I've tried weeing him, but it just won't work!"

"Good luck with that" Bailey says as the reach the surgical floor

"I hate to run but, I've got a ruptured spleen to attend to; we'll talk later?" Bailey says

"You wanna meet at Callie's tonight?"

"Torres' place works just fine; so long as one of you has alcohol"

"Oh I've got plenty of that" Callie says as Bailey rushes off to tend to her patient"

"Drinking a lot lately?" Addison asks

"Oh yeah; I mean, didn't you get really drunk when Derek cheated on you?"

"Yeah, and then I stuck Meredith Grey's panties on the bulletin board and had a transcontinental bootycall with Mark"

"God I miss him; I could use some of his sex skills right about now" Callie pouts

"I could just use sex"

"You're still not getting any?"

"Sadly no; I'm as dry as the Sahara Desert"

"When's the last time you-"

"When I got pregnant"

"Oh wow; should I call a convent for you?" Callie teases, causing both women to laugh

"Oh god we should not be having these kinds of conversations in front of my son" Addison laughs just as Derek approaches them

"Ah, Torres. Hey Addie, Amelia told me I should be expecting you"

"She did?"

"Yes; she said you had something you needed to discuss with me"

"I do" Addison says, giving Derek a knowing look

"Uh Torres, you mind watching Carson while Addie and I talk in my office?"

"Oh, yeah sure Derek" Callie says as Addison gives her Carson's diaper bag

"Okay, bye baby; be a good boy for Auntie Callie" Addison says giving her son a kiss before heading towards Derek's office.

* * *

Los Angeles

Sitting in her office catching up on paperwork, Violet is completely surprised to see Sam standing in her doorway.

"I thought you were done with therapy?" Violet teased

"Addison called me last night"

"She did? What'd she say?"

"She was upset"

"Upset about what?"

"Apparently she told Derek about what happened and, he didn't take it too well"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, her friend Callie kept the baby the entire night and got worried when Addison never called to check on him. It turns out that she and Derek had a huge fight and she got drunk as a result"

"Why did she call you?"

"That's the thing; I couldn't tell if she was drunk calling me, or calling me because she was sad"

"What do you think in your heart is the reason she called?"

"Honestly, I don't know; I mean, she was crying throughout the whole phone call so"

"Could you make out anything she was saying?"

"She basically said she was sorry that she ruined my marriage and how she had screwed up everything"

"Do you think she ruined your marriage?" Violet asked just as Naomi walked in

"Hey Vy, I...oh, sorry; I'll come back" Naomi said giving Sam a smug look

"No, no, you need to stay, Naomi"

"No I don't, especially not after the phone call I got last night"

"She called you too huh?"Sam said with a slight smile

"What do you mean? She call you?"

"She did"

"Did she apologize to you?"

"She did; said she was sorry for ruining our marriage and our friendship"

"Hmmm. I wonder what that was about"

"It probably has to do with the fact that she went to Seattle to tell Derek about, you know" Sam said quietly as Naomi's eyes grew wide with shock

"I thought she swore she'd never tell Derek; Kip and Derek were best friends, they grew up together" Naomi said taking a seat on Violet's couch.

"Yeah well, you didn't really give her much of a choice after you outed her secret now did you?" Sam said angrily

"Oh don't blame this all on me Sam! If you hadn't went crazy and tried to jump off a building then-"

MY SISTER DIED! OKAY?! MY SISTER DIED! I did not go crazy Naomi; Corinne, my sister is dead after I only just found her a year ago. How did you think I was gonna be? I've told you about Corinne, how much I loved her; about how I promised to protect her! Did you think I would be able to handle that!? I had a lot going on that day; I had just saw my son for the first time in 10 months, I had 3 patients to die, on top of that my sister committed suicide! How the hell was I supposed to act Nae!" Sam shouted, leaving both women completely shocked.

"Okay, Sam I need you to calm down for me; it's pretty obvious that you two have a lot of issues with one another. Naomi, what's your biggest issue with Sam?" Violet said, hoping that she could get the two of them at least on civil terms, because the Sam/Naomi/Addison drama was quite old and had started taking its toll on the practice.

"Addison; that's my biggest problem with him, Addison. Out of, all of the women in the world, did you have to go and fall in love with my best friend, and then get her pregnant!?"

"You act as if I purposefully fell in love with her"

"Maybe your feelings for her in med school never died down and then once you divorced me and she was single then-"

"Wait, you knew that I asked her out?"

"I'm not stupid Sam"

"So why didn't you-"

"I knew, Sam that you liked Addison; I didn't know you loved her"

"I didn't, I didn't love her then; there was something there but, I can't say it was love" Sam said quietly

"...Did you, ever love me?"

"Of course I loved you Naomi; I loved you, I love you, with every fiber of my being"

"You love me?"

"Naomi, I'm always going to love you; you were my wife for almost 20 years, you're the mother of my child, my first born child. We were best friends...I can't just throw all of that away Nae"

"Why didn't you tell me, that you knew about the abortion?"

"I wanted you to tell me first; If I had come to you and said 'I know you had an abortion' would you have been honest with me?" Sam asked as he watched his ex wife pause

"You see, that right there is why I allowed you to believe that I just decided that I didn't want to be married anymore. Your guilt is eating you alive; you wouldn't have been honest about it Nae"

"How do you know?" Naomi whispered tearfully

"Do you forget that I've known you, was married to you for almost 20 years? I know you Naomi" Sam said with a small smile

"So, what made you choose Addison?"

"I don't know; but let me make this clear. Addison and I, this wasn't like we planned this or anything Nae. You kinda walked away from us both; you brought Addison out here and then, you just sorta left her hanging"

"Sam she stole-"

"Naomi, stop it; Addison did not steal the practice from you. She actually saved it, twice; you said it yourself, we were practically broke. Our equipment was being repossessed; you used the last of the money to shoot the commercial. You made her swear not to tell us that you were running the practice into the ground. How do you think the rest of us would've felt about her if she had kept your secret and we'd lost the practice? How do you think she would've felt? She saved this practice; she didn't take it from you. She helped us Naomi"

"Okay, what about you?"

"Again, she didn't take me from you; I wasn't yours to begin with. I was yours but, you didn't want to give us another try; you had several opportunities to reconcile with me Nae, starting with our divorce,but you didn't. You let me walk away time and time again, but yet had the nerve to be upset about who I dated. I mean, you went out with Bryce and Duncan; they weren't my best friends but, you went out with them"

"But you-"

"Because I wanted to see you happy again Naomi; I may have been pissed as hell about what you did but, I would never want to ruin your happiness. I wanted you to be happy, but no one I dated made you happy. I mean, you slept with Archer, kept the fact that he was working for Charlotte, who at the time owned a practice that was almost at the point of driving us out of business, but still I didn't judge you. I tried, hell I even had conversations with you about your sex life with Archer. Then, you go downstairs and work for Lockheart and then you start dating your boss, William; not only did you date him but, you simultaneously had an affair with your co worker Fife who was, is the biggest ass I have ever met in my life. Not only did you date Fife but, you got engaged to him, only to have him break your heart; but the whole time, I stood by and supported you; I may not have liked all of your choices but, in the end I wanted you to be happy. Me on the other hand, it was like you couldn't stand to see me happy. You haven't liked any woman I've dated. You didn't like me dating Vanessa, you didn't like me dating Sonya...you nearly had a heart attack when you thought I was dating that stripper. It's almost like..."

"She's still in love with you" Violet said, finishing Sam's thought

"Naomi, are you still in love with Sam?"Violet asked.

"Naomi, are you, still in love with me?"


	8. Truth in Lies

**Chapter 8:**

**You guys and your reviews, you're all so awesome! I feel so inspired to update this story! I like that you guys are curious about what's going on with Addison and Kip and that interesting little shocker at the end of Chapter 7. Well, I hate to break it to you but, this chapter's all about the Addison/Derek/Kip situation; but I promise you, the big question of "Does Naomi still love Sam?" will be answered and resolved very soon!**

**Keep reading and reviewing!**

**Xx**

_Summer 1984_

_Sitting by the side of the pool with her best friend Savannah Benoist, 16 year old Addison Forbes Montgomery is enjoying one of very seldom free moments of her Summer vacation. They're currently looking through the latest issues of People magazine, giggling at the attractive male on the cover._

"_He's so dreamy" Savvy says_

"_Yeah, totally" Addison says shyly just as Bizzy walks out with their new pool boy._

"_You're to clean the pool and the pool house and the gutters, is that understood?_

"_Yes ma'am"_

"_Oh, Addison, I want you to meet the new pool boy" Bizzy says to her daughter _

"_What happened to Miguel?"_

"_Oh, he went to college" Bizzy says with an eye roll_

"_Oh, well it's nice to meet you..."_

"_Kip, my name's Kip Smith"_

"_It's nice to meet you Kip"_

_xx_

Seattle, Present Day

"Alright Addison, what's this about?" Derek said as he sat down in his office with his ex wife

"There's a lot I have to tell you Derek" Addison said quietly

"This wouldn't have to do with whatever happened between you Sam and Naomi, would it?"

"How do you-"

"Amelia may have mentioned a few things during our last conversation"

"Exactly what did Amelia mention?"

"She didn't go into details but, it had something to do with a huge argument between you Naomi and Sam" Derek said

"Did she tell you what the argument was about?"

"No, but I'm guessing it had to be pretty big if it caused you to run to Seattle of all places" Derek said with a laugh

"Derek, I'm not running to Seattle" Addison said with a sigh

"So if you're not running then, why exactly are you here; not that I'm not happy to see you. It's just, you haven't been here since Richard's funeral and then before that it was-"

"When Mark died" Addison said with a sad sigh

"Yeah"

"...So Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital huh?"

"You're avoiding the real reason why you're here"

"No I'm not"

"Addison" Derek said with a sigh

"Do you, remember that one time in med school where Mark and Kip got into that fight?"

"When were Mark and Kip ever not fighting in med school?"

"No, no, do you remember that time when Mark beat up Kip, and Kip was going to press charges on him, but then he decided not to?"

"Oh, yeah I remember that; Mark almost got kicked out of Columbia for that one; I wonder why Kip decided not to press charges? He seemed so adamant about it before"

"He didn't because I asked him not to"

"Why would you ask Kip not to press charges on Mark after he attacked him?"

"Because there's more to that story than you know, Derek"

"Addison, were you, were you sleeping with Mark and then Kip caught you?"

"No! No, no, no! No, Derek"

"Well then why would you...Addison, you didn't sleep with Kip did you?" Derek asked

"Derek, listen to me"

"You slept with Kip!?"

"Derek no!"

"So what the hell happened!?"

"Derek, let me explain!"

"You had better do some damn good explaining Addison. God, why the hell would you wait 20 years to tell me this, after Mark is dead and Kip has cancer and-"

"Wait, Kip has cancer?"

"Yeah, prostate"

"Oh God, how bad is it?"

"Late stage 3...what's this all about Addison?"

"Derek, there are things that happened in med school; things that you know nothing about. Things that I'm not proud of, that I did"

"Did you cheat on your finals or something?"

"What? No!"

"What's this about then, because it's getting really ridiculous"

"Derek, do you, remember when Kip used to be a pool boy, in Connecticut?"

"Yeah, how do you...wait, he was your pool boy? Kip was your pool boy?"

"Yeah, for 2 years"

"Wait, you weren't the girl who-"

"If you're talking about the redhead with the braces, then yes, that was me"

"So you slept with Kip?"

"When I was 17; it was a long time ago Derek"

"So what does this have to do with med school?"

"Something may have, happened"

"Addison, what are you saying right now?"

"Derek...I was raped; that's why Mark beat up Kip"

"So, you're telling me that Kip, my best friend not only took my wife's virginity, but he raped you too?"

"Yeah, Derek I am so sorry I-"

"Son of a Bitch"

* * *

xx

_Hartford, Spring 1986_

_Sitting by the poolside, well past midnight, 17 year old Addison Forbes Montgomery is crying; her senior prom was awful. Skippy Gold was a complete jerk to her; not only did they spend most of the night talking about Star Wars, he'd also been caught feeling up Veronica Jenkins. She's startled when she hears a noise coming from the pool house. _

"_Who's there?" she sniffles_

"_It's just me, Kip" the blonde 18 year old says emerging from the pool house in just his boxers, showing off his very toned chest. _

"_What are you doing in our pool house?" Addison questions_

"_It's Spring Break; while most kids my age are off to the beach, I'm hanging out here, cleaning your_ _pool, and your neighbors pools"_

"_But why?"_

"_I'm ambitious plus, I need the extra cash. Hey, are you okay Addison?"_

"_I'm fine"_

"_You don't look so fine; your sitting out by the pool, in an expensive gown crying. Your parents didn't say they were having any big functions tonight"_

"_It was my prom"_

"_Your prom?"_

"_Yeah, my senior prom, and it was awful"_

"_C'mon, it couldn't have been that bad"_

"_My date spent the entire evening talking about Star Wars and then he proceeded to feel up his ex girlfriend, Veronica. Then he told me that the only reason he even agreed to go out with me in the first place is because our mother's thought it would be a good match, since I'm a Forbes and he's a Vanderbilt" _

"_So he went out with you because"_

"_Trajectory doesn't move down, it moves up" Addison says, wiping her eyes_

"_Oh, Addie, that's gotta suck"_

"_It does, it really sucks" Addison says _

"_You know, I could've took you to prom"_

"_Ha, as if my mother would've allowed that to happen; you're our pool boy and my mother's all about status"_

"_She seems to like me" Kip says with a shrug_

"_She did say you have a certain ambition about yourself; but then again my brother said it could be because you've got your eye on something"_

"_Who do you believe?" Kip asks, moving closer to Addison_

"_I tend to believe my brother over my mother; but she could have a point"_

"_Oh?"_

"_You are very ambitious"_

"_When I see something I like, I go after it"_

"_So, what is it that you're after?"_

"_Well, to be honest, you"_

"_Me? You like me?"_

"_I do"_

"_But why? I'm like-"_

"_The most beautiful girl I've ever seen"_

"_You're just saying that"_

"_No, it's true, you are"_

"_I'm 17 I have braces, I wear glasses I'm in the marching band, I wear frumpy clothes-"_

"_You don't have to do any of that stuff"_

"_Oh I don't?"_

"_Nope; you could get contacts instead of glasses, you're rich and Savvy is your best friend so, I'm sure she could help you buy some, not so frumpy clothes"_

"_And my braces?"_

"_Those'll come off, in time"_

"_Oh please; no boy would ever wanna kiss a metal mouth like me"_

"_I'd kiss you"_

"_You're kidding, right?"_

"_Nope"_

"_You'd seriously kiss-"_

_But her words are cut short when Kip quickly presses his lips onto hers, surprising her at first; after a few moments, she feels herself begin to relax into the kiss. Its sweet really, the kiss and the fact that Kip wanted to kiss her. She's surprised when he pulls away a few moments later. _

"_Why don't we, take this into the pool house; we wouldn't want your parents or the maid to come out and catch us" Kip says gently taking her hand._

"_O-okay, wait, Kip!" He's surprised at how mature her voice now sounds_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I, I've never, done this before" she says softly_

"_It's okay, I'll take my time, promise"_

_Leading her into the pool house, Kip carefully undresses the 17 year old before gently settling her down onto the bed. He keeps his word, he is gentle with her; pressing ghostly soft kisses up and down her body, allowing her to feel comfortable with him before he tried anything else. Very slowly, he pushed her legs apart and enters her, causing her to gasp softly. As she lost her virginity, Addison couldn't help thinking that it should've happened this way all along. _

xx

"So, you're saying that Kip was the one who-"

"Yeah, Derek I'm so sorry"

"Why now?"

"Derek, I-"

"I said WHY NOW Addison?!"

"I wasn't going to tell you but, I couldn't risk someone else telling you about it"

"Someone else, you mean other people know about this?"

"Just Naomi, and now Sam"

"You told Sam!?"

"No! Naomi told Sam"

"Naomi knows about this!? How long has she known?"

"The entire time"

"Oh God, so you wait until now to tell me that you're basically a slut"

"Derek! No, it's not like that I swear!"

"How am I supposed to believe that Addison!? Kip makes the third friend of mine that you've fucked, and two of them have gotten you pregnant! Tell me something, the baby we lost back in New York, was it even mine?"

"I can't believe you'd even say that Derek!"

"How am I supposed to believe anything you say Addison!?"

"Would you have believed me if I'd told you from the beginning, that Kip raped me!? No, you wouldn't have, because Kip was your friend and you were always so loyal to him and you wouldn't have believed that he would do something like that to you!"

"Addie-"

"No, you took his side over Mark's when they got busted for drugs, even though you knew it wasn't Mark that had the drugs! You let Mark, the most loyal guy in the word go to jail for you and almost get put out of school because of Kip!"

"Addison-"

"No, Mark was your best friend and then Kip comes along and you start treating Mark like he hadn't been there for you!"

"Addison-"

"Do you wanna know what Kip said while he was raping me!? He said you didn't deserve a girl like me, that you'd had everything handed to you your entire life, that you never knew what it was like to have to work hard for anything. Yeah, your precious Kip, said all of that about you!"

* * *

_Columbia University, May 1994_

_It's 2 weeks before finals, and Kip has decided to throw a party to help everyone blow off some steam. The party is going really well, as do all of Kip's party's. Sitting at the bar in the kitchen is Addison Forbes Montgomery, dressed impeccably as usual in a short and rather flirty black dress. _

"_Well, well, well, if it isn't the most beautiful redhead at Columbia" an all to familiar voice calls out _

"_Kip" the redhead says with a smile turning to face him_

"_It's nice of you to come out to my party; I do hope you're enjoying yourself"_

"_That I am"_

"_So, where's that fiance of yours?"_

"_With Mark, Sam and my brother, somewhere getting drunk" she says with a roll of her eyes _

"_So, let's see this engagement ring" Kip says as she proudly hold out her hand for him to see_

"_It's impressive, though I'll bet you've seen better"_

"_I love it, because Derek bought it for me"_

"_What do your parents think of him?"_

"_Well, Bizzy isn't a fan of his"_

"_I'll be she isn't"_

"_And The Captain, well, he admires Derek's ambitions; he thinks he'll be a great neurosurgeon someday" Addison says with a smile._

"_I think your father just wants to see you happy"_

"_I'm glad that he does"_

"_You know, your mother always did say that she liked my ambition"_

"_You were a pool boy striving to be something more, of course she liked you; Bizzy likes anyone with ambition"_

"_Except Derek" Kip points out_

"_She feels that I can do better than Derek" Addison says with a roll of her eyes_

"_Oh, and what could be better than the great Derek Christopher Shepherd?" Kip asks teasingly_

"_I don't know; the point is I love him and I'm marrying him" Addison says happily, looking down at her engagement ring with a smile._

"_I know someone that's better than him"_

"_Oh do you?"_

"_I do"_

"_And who could that be?"_

"_Me"_

"_Oh come on Kip!"_

"_What? You seemed to think I was good with the way you screamed-"_

"_Kip! That was a long time ago and Derek doesn't know about that"_

"_You mean, your perfect fiance doesn't know that I took his precious Addison's virginity?" _

"_No, he doesn't"_

"_Hmmm, I wonder why"_

"_I just never told him"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because I know you and I know that you won't let him forget it"_

"_I sure wouldn't"_

"_Which is why I never told him; and I never will"_

"_You say that as if you're ashamed of the fact that I turned you into a woman"_

"_You think you turned me into a woman? Ha! If memory serves me correctly, it didn't last very long" Addison says with a smirk before standing up, just as Kip grabs her arm_

"_Kip, let go" Addison says firmly_

"_You know, rich girls were always the easiest; so easy to give it up to the first guy who complimented them"_

"_Oh, go to hell Kip" _

_Walking around the large fraternity house, Addison is beyond pissed and ready to leave. She can't seem to find her boyfriend or his stupid best friends anywhere. She's pretty sure that Naomi left with Savvy about an hour ago and, doesn't have any money for a cab so, she has to find Derek so that she can go. Searching all around downstairs, she decides to check upstairs, knowing that her boyfriend and his idiot friends could possibly be upstairs passed out; well, at least Derek and Sam could be. There was no telling where he idiot brother and Mark could be. Pushing one of the bedroom doors open, she's surprised to find Kip coming out of the bathroom, a grin on his face. _

"_Well, well, well, we meet again"_

"_Oh brother; have you seen Derek?"_

"_Ready to go so soon?"_

"_Yes, as a matter of fact I am"_

"_Oh, did my insult anger the spoiled princess?"_

"_No, why would something a pool boy say upset me?"_

"_Because you know it's true; you rich girls are the first ones to give it up" Kip says walking closer to her_

"_I'm going to take your asinine comments as a sign that you haven't seen Derek; on that note, I'm gonna see if I can find Savvy" Addison says as she heads for the door, just as Kip grabs her arm._

"_Kip, let go of me"_

"_Aww, what's wrong Addison? The last time you seemed so, eager"_

"_Kip, this isn't before; I'm not 17 anymore. I'm engaged-"_

"_So we've all heard! You're marrying that prick Shepherd, we know! You two are sickeningly annoying with your talk of how perfect the other is"_

"_What the hell is wrong with you?"_

"_He doesn't deserve you; he's never had to work hard a day in his life, that's why your mother doesn't like him! She knows that he's wrong for you!"_

"_Oh and you could be? This is coming from the man who almost went to jail-"_

"_Luckily your boyfriend vouched for me" Kip says pulling Addison closer to him_

"_Kip let go of me right now!"_

"_C'mon Addison"_

"_Stop it, you're drunk" she says pushing him away from her_

"_Come on, you liked it before"_

"_Kip, stop it!"_

"_Why are playing so hard to get"_

"_Because I don't want you!" Addison shouts _

"_Oh, and you want Shepherd?" Kip says as he pushes her down onto the bed_

"_Kip stop it!"_

"_Oh, so it's okay for Shepherd to put his hands all over you but I can't" Kip says, using his weight to pin Addison to the bed_

"_Stop it, please!"_

"_Oh, now you're scared"_

"_Kip, please, let go of me"_

"_What are you gonna do, call Derek?"_

"_Kip, please!"_

"_Shepherd is a lousy good for nothing who's had everything handed to him his entire life; teachers, friends, everyone felt sorry for him because he watched his old man get killed! He's used his looks and that sad sob story about how two guys came into his dad's store and shot him for his watch to get everything he wanted, including you. Well, at least I can say that I had you first...and I didn't even have to work as hard" Kip says with a smirk, just as Addison lets out a scream that's instantly silenced by a strong slap across the face. _

* * *

**So, I'm not exactly happy with Kip's motive but I felt as if I owed you guys some sort of explanation as to what and why this happened. I may do a story based on this but, I'm not sure; I wrote up something similar to this about a year ago so I may draw from that and write another fanfic based on that, though it'll be much more dark and more Addison-centric. Anywho, I do hope you guys liked this chapter and I PROMISE, the whole Sam/Naomi drama will be resloved soon; be patient with me because I'm trying to update like 10 stories at once before I start the fall semester of school in a week and a half. If you liked or disliked this chapter, lemme know by hitting the review button!**

**Xx**


	9. Down the Road to Self Discovery

**I apologize for the long wait; my Addek story has taken up a lot of my time and, I'm preparing to start a new semester of college so, bear with me people. I do appreciate all of the reviews, the follows, the favorites and everything. So, my nieces have been visiting this week and they're into Private Practice so, I decided to re-watch it with them, and I suddenly realize just how much I disliked everyone during season 2 haha! Okay, I liked Charlotte, Addison, Pete and Sam. Now, while I LOVE Audra McDonald, I find myself with a serious dislike for Naomi at the moment, which makes it conflicting for me to write this story without channeling my feelings about the character into the story. However, it does make me want to dig deeper and try to understand her more. There's this one particular scene between Sam and Naomi and it makes me want to explore them as a couple more, because I know how many of you feel about the whole Addison-Sam-Naomi thing. Yes, it was wrong of Shonda to make Addison sleep with her husband's best friend, and then her best friend's husband. If you watch old seasons, it's obvious that Addison and Naomi's friendship was on the rocks ****_way_**** before Addison and Sam started dating, which is something many people don't take into account. So I'm going to answer the big question of "Does Naomi still love Sam?" as well as take Naomi on a journey of her own that I think will be very beautiful. **

**Also, I feel that Shonda did a ****_major_**** assassination on Sam's character, because if you watch him during earlier seasons, he was sweet, geeky but sweet; I miss his and Addison's friendship, before their relationship. I liked their relationship, at first. I liked the, adult-ness about it; aside from Jake, it was her most adult relationship. Sam knew her, she knew him, he was kind to her she was honest with what she wanted and stood her ground, she didn't cheat; she could've, but she didn't, and...they had some HOT sex scenes! I still ship them just, in a more AU type of way, because what the hell was the point of making Addison look like the bad guy by making her sleep with her best friend's husband, only to have Sam and Naomi as a couple in the end...plus, why the hell did Naomi even get pregnant in the finale!? Ugh, I'm ranting too much; I'm going to try and do my best with writing Naomi's POV in this chapter, but I can't make any promises; I honestly hope you guys enjoy it. **

**Xx**

It was a simple question really: did she, or didn't she? Sam made a valid point when he mentioned how she was never happy with any of his relationships since their divorce. There was the time when Cooper had hired him a stripper-she was upset about that. Actually, she had jumped to conclusions because it wasn't like Sam had gotten himself a stripper; but maybe, she thought that Sam had gotten into things like that since their divorce. Then, there were the times when Pete and Cooper took Sam to a bar to set him up on a couple of dates; she tried to pretend she wasn't mad about that but, she was. Then, there was Sonya. She most definitely wasn't happy about that; hell she had even driven over to Addison's house to spy on Sam and Sonya.

Then, there was his relationship with Vanessa; while she didn't really pay much attention to that one, from what she had heard, the relationship was forgettable. Then, there was Addison; that one seemed to be the icing on the cake. Out of all of the women in the world, did he _have_ to fall in love with her best friend? She wrestles internally with the question before her, because she knows that technically, she has no claims to Sam anymore; Maya is now a grown woman with a child of her own so, their parenting days are over. It was ironic; she had been allowed to move on time and time again, but it seemed that whenever Sam tried to, she made a big deal out of it and found reasons that he shouldn't.

"Naomi, are you, still in love with Sam?" Violet asked tentatively, ripping her from her thoughts

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Naomi asked, blinking hard; it was almost as if she had forgotten where she was for a moment

"She asked you if you were still in love with me" Sam said

"I...no, Sam I'm not; you're with Addison now and-"

"I'm not with Addison, Naomi and you know that. Addison isn't here right now and we haven't been a couple since-"

"Addison will be back, and then you two will do that awkward dance of trying to avoid each other but you can't, because you have a son together. Then, one day, one of you will realize that you still love each other and, you'll get back together; it's the way it's supposed to be" Naomi said politely

"I don't see that happening Nae, Addison's made it pretty clear where she stands and-"

"You got her pregnant, Sam; you got her pregnant and then basically walked out of her and your child's life. Did you _honestly_ think she would be so trusting again? After everything that she's been through with men? With her father, with _Derek_, with _Mark_, with Kevin, with Pete and then _you_? You honestly couldn't have thought she'd just come running back. She has a child to think about now" Naomi told him

"How is it, that you're suddenly on her side about this?"

"I'm not on her side; I'm just, explaining the situation to you, that's all"

"No, what you're doing is avoiding the question; do you still love me Naomi?"Sam asked again because honestly, he had a right to know

It was a question she didn't know and wasn't sure that she was ready to answer just yet.

"Honestly, I'm not sure" She said with a sigh before standing up and walking out of Violet's office

xx

"Hey, how's it going?" Sam asked Addison as he walked into her office 2 days later

"Good I'm just, glad to be back in LA; to be, home again" She said leaning down to kiss Carson on his head

"So, Naomi might still be in love with me" he announced as he took a seat next to her.

"Really? Addison asked with raised eyebrows

"Yeah, it's crazy, right?"

"Actually, no, it isn't"

"Wait what?"

"Honestly, I'm not surprised; what I'm more surprised at, is that it's taken the two of you this long to figure it out"

"You're not surprised?"

"No; you're not the kind of guy you just get over so easily Sam" Addison said

"So you think it's a possibility, that she could still-"

"It is a very real possibility that she could still be Sam" Addison told him

"I don't know how I feel about that" Sam sighed

"Are you still in love with her?"

"Honestly, there will always be something there. I mean, we were together for over 15 years, we have a child together, a grandchild. She was the first woman I ever loved so, yes; there will always be a part of me that loves her"

"But, I'm sensing a but here" Addison prompted

"But, I messed up, we _both_ messed up. We made mistakes, I should've been honest with her about the divorce but, I was expecting her to question why I would suddenly just wake up one morning and divorce her but, she didn't. I wanted her to be honest with me, I wanted her to fight for us. She didn't, she didn't fight for us and-"

"Sam, why didn't _you_ fight, for your marriage?" Addison asked

"I don't know; When I found out about the abortion I was, I was pissed off, I was mad. I acted irrationally and, I didn't think. After I'd made the decision and I had time to cool down, I realized that even though she had hurt me, betrayed me in the worst way possible, I still loved her; but she had quit on us. So, we divorced and I was the bad guy, I was the jerk who just, walked out on his marriage."

"Sam, why didn't you tell Naomi all of this?"

"I don't know; I honestly...why did she do it Addison, have an abortion?" Sam asked

"Honestly, she didn't wanna hurt you; you two had been fighting and, she was pissed off and she was drunk so, she decided to blow off some steam. She wasn't expecting to get pregnant Sam, she did, she did what she thought was best for her at the time" Addison said

"So she thought-"

"No, as far as the decision to have an abortion goes, it was a decision that she made to the best of her abilities Sam. You get to be pissed that not _only_ did she lie to you but she cheated as well; but you don't get to be mad that she aborted that baby"

"Are you saying that because-"

"My kid with Mark would've been 9 this year; I wanted that baby, I did but, I knew that with Mark and given our history, it wouldn't have worked and I, I didn't want to be like my parents, or to be a single mom and Mark, Mark wasn't ready. He thought he was but, he wasn't so, I made the decision for the both of us, which was wrong because I unilaterally decided for us but, in the end, it was the right thing, because he wouldn't have Sofia, and I wouldn't have Carson; and I love him more than, anything" Addison said quietly as she leaned down and pressed another kiss to her son's head.

"Wow, I never looked at it like that" Sam said quietly

"I don't think she had the abortion to hurt you, I think she did it to protect you, to spare you of the hurt"

"But I still got hurt Addison"

"I know, and I'm one hundred percent sure that she feels that pain of hurting you, every single day. Having an abortion, whether it's for the right or wrong reasons, isn't an easy decision. I'm sure she carries a little bit of guilt around because her actions hurt you in the worst way possible"

"Can I ask-"

"Why I helped her?"

"Yeah"

"She was my best friend and, she was in a tough situation; I actually tried getting her to tell you but, she loved you so much that, she didn't want to hurt you"

"And then she threatened to tell Derek about what happened"

"She tried to get me to tell Derek what happened but, I didn't, for the same reasons she didn't tell you, because I didn't wanna hurt him"

"But you did"

"And I have to live with that, just like she has to live with what she did"

"How is it that you two still aren't best friends?" Sam said with a chuckle

"I slept with her husband" Addison said with a smile

"No, we weren't married then"

"But still, I crossed a line, a very big line Sam; I mean, remember how pissed you were when she slept with Archer, and then with Duncan? Remember how pissed you were when she went out with Bryce?"

"Because they were all my friends"

"Exactly; I broke a rule, a very big rule Sam: friends don't sleep with their best friend's husbands, or ex husband's or any exes at all for that matter"

"But you-"

"Which is why Derek hates me; in fact I'm sure that he despises me even more now because not only did I sleep with his best friend but, I got pregnant. Then I slept with his other best friend, no I dated and slept with his other best friend and had a baby. Now he's learned his other best friend raped his wife and gave her an STD so...yeah, Derek will go to his grave hating me" Addison said with a laugh

"Nah, I think Derek will get over it"

"It'll be a long, long time before he does"

"He just, needs time to process everything, that's all"

"If you say so" Addison said rolling her eyes

"Come on, he forgave Mark and, me I think. Wait, _has he forgiven me_?"

"You mean for sleeping with me and then getting me pregnant, or for being a jerk after getting me pregnant?" Addison said with a smirk

"Ha ha, very funny; I think Nae will come around, I mean, she came around to the idea of Maya having Olivia so-"

"That's different; Maya is her daughter. Kids are going to make millions of mistakes, but as mothers, we're going to forgive them, no matter how pissed off we get"

"Oh?"

"Mmhm, like the other day, Carson and I went out to eat and he was probably the worst baby I have _ever_ seen in my entire life..."

"Really Addison?"

"Okay so, not the worst baby but, I was so embarrassed"

"How bad was it?"

"People were staring at me, giving all sorts of horrible, dirty looks"

"Really? What'd he do?"

"Well _first_, he threw a tantrum because he wanted to put a straw up his nose and I wouldn't let him. _Then_, he proceeds to throw french fries at the couple at the table in front of us. _Then_, I try breastfeeding him thinking it would calm him down but, he decides exposes my boob to the _whole_ restaurant; I was so mad at him, but then he gave me that cute little smile and, I forgot about how mad I was; then he threw up all over me" Addison laughed

"Oh wow that had to be horrible" Sam laughed

"See? No matter what your kids do, you're gonna forgive them; now _me_ on the other hand, Naomi has _no_ obligation to forgive me. I'm not her kid, I'm not her family; she doesn't _have _to forgive me"

"She'll come around, one day"

"At this point, if she does, okay, if she doesn't that's okay too"

"I'm so lost right now Addie; I mean, what do I do if she is still in love with me?"

"That's something you'll have to figure out Sam"

"I mean, after the divorce I realized that I still loved her and I was willing to give us another try. So I _tried_, and _tried,_ and I waited but, she gave me reasons why it wouldn't work. It actually wasn't until I fell in love with you that I realized she was over me, that she didn't want me. She had moved on with her life, several times so, it made me realize that I should too"

"And so you coincidentally moved on with me, her best friend?"

"Oh come on Addison, you and Naomi were far from best friends when we got together "

"But we were still friends, _very close friends_"Addison pointed out

"Addison, when I fell it love with you, it had _nothing_ to do with the fact that you and Naomi were friends. I fell in love with you because you were, you are an amazing person" Sam told her

"Okay, but you do realize that there is a very _real_ possibility that _you_ could still be in love with Naomi, you do get that right?"

"I don't know if I still love her like that; like I said, I'll _alway_s love her but, I'm not sure if I'm _in_ love with her anymore"

"But she's still in love with you though"

"She said she wasn't sure"

"Sam, if I know anything about Naomi, it's that the chances of her still being in love with you are very, _very_ real" Addison said, gently rubbing Carson's back as he let out a little yawn

"Yeah...he seems tired" Sam observed as the little boy stuck his thumb into his mouth and resting his head contently on his mother's chest.

"I think all of the excitement in Seattle got to him plus, he's a little jet lagged"

"Yeah; I heard about what happened"

"Yeah, Derek and I, I don't know where we stand right now" Addison sighed

"How can he be mad? It's not like you did this on purpose"

"I know, but right now for Derek it's feeling like salt on an open wound. I mean, first I slept with Mark, his closest friend and then he finds out that Kip, his other very good friend raped me. It's hard on him to deal with, especially since this week-"

"Is Mark's birthday; dammit I forgot about that" Sam said with a sigh

"Yeah, it's hard on everybody" Addison said lowering her head

"You okay?"

"Me? Yeah, I'll be fine; _you on the other hand_, you need to figure out what you're gonna do about you and Naomi"

"There isn't anything to figure out Addison; we're both on very different paths right now. I mean, she has Betsy and I-"

"Don't have anything holding you back or tying you down; there's no girlfriend no-"

"Addison, we have a son together"

"But we are _not _together Sam"

"Addison"

"You don't have anything standing in your way"

"We don't have anything to discuss"

"Yes there is; you two left so many things unsaid when you divorced and then tried to get back together. Hell, there's still a very _real_ possibility that you could still love her too I mean, you _did_ kiss her while I was away_ grieving my dead mother_"

"Addison-"

"Sam, I was in your shoes once; I mean, Derek and I were married for 11 years when things just fell apart. I tried to say that I didn't love him anymore, that I had moved on but When Archer got sick, I realized that I was still _very much_ in love with him; and I'm honest with myself, a piece of me will always love him"

"So you're still in love with Derek?"

"Yes and no. Yes I still _love_ Derek but no, I don't love him like I did when we were married"

"But a part of you always will?"

"Yes"

"Well maybe that's what's going on with me then"

"No, I think there's still a chance that you still love Naomi"

"I don't know Addie..."

"Sam, you clearly don't love me; you liked the idea of _being_ in love with me"

"Addison..."

"No, I think you may have loved me once, but not the way that you love Naomi"

"Addison" Sam said with a sigh

"Sam, you and Naomi owe it to yourselves to try and figure out things"

"What about-"

"I promised you that after last time that I wouldn't take him from you; I'm keeping my word. I just want you to be happy, whether it's with Naomi, or with someone else, with me or by yourself; I care about you, I care about your happiness Sam; and I think, Naomi makes you happy, _very, very_ happy" Addison said

* * *

Sitting out on the patio in her backyard, Naomi Bennett tried desperately to figure out what the hell had gone wrong in her life. Taking another sip of her wine, Naomi was startled by the sound of someone coming into her backyard.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing here?" she asked

"I, we need to figure things out Naomi" Sam said

"Sam, there's nothing to figure out" Naomi sighed

"Addison seems to think there is"

"Oh she does?"

"Yeah, she says that we're clearly still in love with each other"

"That's crazy"

"I know but, she said the reason I moved on with her, was because she was your best friend" Sam said with a laugh, immediately stopping once he noticed Naomi wasn't laughing with him.

"Naomi, do you, do you think I moved on with Addison because she was your best friend?" Sam asked

"I don't know what to think Sam, I mean the fact that you moved on with my best friend, my best friend that, rumor has it, you asked out first" Naomi said

"Okay, I did ask her out first" Sam confessed

"So what, I was some sloppy seconds?!"

"No! No! No, Addison turned me down because, she liked Derek and..."

"And what?"

"She knew how much you liked me; she even told me I should ask you out" Sam said quietly

"So, she knew I liked you she turned you down; but why couldn't you ask me out yourself?"

"Because I didn't think a girl like you would ask out the geeky kid from DC"

"Sam, you were not-"

"Oh come on Nae! I was a total dork in college! You remember, I had hair back then, I wore the dorky coke bottle shaped glasses; I had an inhaler. Face it Nae, I was Urkel times 10!" Sam said, causing his ex wife to laugh

"You were but, that's what made you so special to me; because underneath all of that, was a good man"

"I'm still a good man Naomi"

"Sam..."

"We both know I'm a man-"

"Who slept with my best friend, got her pregnant and then pretended that his child with her, didn't exist"

"Naomi" Sam sighed

"Did you love her, Sam? Did you love her or was it some sort of game?" Naomi asked; she had to know

"I did, I really did love her"

"So what happened?"

"It was all so fast with her, everything was happening so fast. Maya, Dell. I had no time to process anything; for her it was all so quick. I mean, we barely had time to let everyone else adjust to the fact that we were dating before she was ready for kids"

"Can I just ask, why her?"

"Only if you answer one question for me"

"Okay"

"Are you still in love with me?"

"Are you still in love with Addison?"

"You're deflecting my question Naomi"

"Addison plays a big part in this Sam because what you have now is very real"

"So it wasn't real before?"

"To me, no it wasn't; I was actually expecting Addison to cheat on you because, when things get real that's usually when she screws it up."

"So what makes it real now?"

"Carson"

"Okay Carson and Addison aside, do you still love me Naomi?" Sam asked, causing Naomi's heart to beat faster.

In all truth and honesty, yes she did love Sam, she would always love Sam. There was so much there between them, so much history, so much love; there was a child and now a grandchild between them that made their love and their bond undeniable. They fit like two kit gloves; they worked so well together. They were so in tune with one another, even after _years_ of being divorced. They had a strong bond that could never be denied if she were being completely honest with herself. Thinking back on their marriage, it had started off on the wrong foot with her lying about the abortion. She went into the marriage with lots of baggage, a considerably greater amount than Sam. Somehow, she'd been able to keep the Lion at bay but, somehow he had found out about what she had done and, she woke up one day realizing that she'd built a castle of bricks on a foundation of sand, causing the life she had worked so hard to put together to come quickly crashing down.

"What if, I had told you what I'd done, would you still have married me?" Naomi asked Sam

He remained quiet for a moment, staring out into the night sky as he tried to gather and collect his thoughts when suddenly something dawned on him.

"Why'd you pick a fight with me?"

"What?"

"That night, you picked a fight with me" Sam said

"Sam, no I-"

"Naomi, I know you; I know when you pick fights. Why'd you pick a fight with me that night?" Sam asked

"Because I was scared" she whispered

"What?"

"I was scared Sam; I was scared that what we had was real and...when things get real, that's usually when I tend to screw things up" Naomi said

"Nae what are you-"

"I, I never told you the story about my father, did I?" Naomi said as a statement rather than a question

"No; the most I've ever say is that your father was a very busy man, a photojournalist and that he walked out on your family when you were around 5, but for good when you were about 9" Sam said

"That wasn't the truth; my mother drove him away" Naomi said

"Wait what?"

"There's a reason why I was so hard on Maya, so hard to communicate with"

"Naomi-"

"No Sam, there's a lot that you don't know about me; I picked a fight with you because, I just knew that once we go together that you were going to just, walk all over me or I was going to belittle you and mistreat you, just like my mother treated my father so, in order to avoid doing that, I tried to do all that I could to get you to not marry me; I was afraid of becoming my mother"

xx

_Her upbringing is quite interesting; a far different cry from the life she had made as Dr. Naomi Bennett, the renowned double board certified OBGYN/Fertility Specialist and Endocrinologist. Born the middle child of 4, an older brother named Donnie, an older sister named Linda, and a younger brother Patrick, Naomi Deanna Jones grew up on the mean streets of Baltimore with her siblings and her parents, Joe, a Photojournalist and Patricia, a born and raised Southern Belle. Not only was her mother the former 'Miss Louisiana', but she was also a well known bitch on wheels. Moving to LA after winning the 'Miss Louisiana' beauty pageant, Patricia went to college; to find a husband of course. Joseph 'Joe' Jones was a man of African descent; his great-great-great grandfather was a member of the Zulu tribe. It was perfect, he was perfect and together, she knew that they would be perfect. He respected her, treated her like the queen she thought she was; she kept him satisfied so, they married immediately after college. _

_While Joe cared deeply about Patty, his heart didn't belong to her, it belonged to another. Joe had eyes for Mina Patton, a fellow photojournalist like himself. The two had plans to go travel to Africa and other countries, but Patty wasn't happy with that. Ironically, just as Joe and Mina were to leave for Africa, Patty turned up pregnant. Joe, being a good upstanding man of course opted not to go to Africa with Mina, but married Patty instead; Seven and a half months later, Donnie Seth Jones was born. Growing up, Naomi's mother was a very hard and difficult woman to deal with. She expected perfection from both her husband and her children; when they didn't meet her standards well, it wasn't pretty. When Naomi was 5, her father couldn't take it anymore and left. He eventually came back, but by the time Naomi's 9__th__ birthday had rolled around, Joe was gone for good. _

_Her mother was a hard woman to understand most of the time, which was why as an adult, Naomi kept her distance. During she and Sam's marriage, Patricia had only visited 3 times; she didn't even come visit after Olivia was born. Sam never understood his wife's actions but, he respected them. Naomi would often have phone conversations with her mother, most of them being sporadic. She watched as her mother drove her father away. She remembers the harshness from her mother when she became overweight. She remembers the rigorous and unreasonable standards that her mother set for she and her siblings. _

_By the time she graduated from high school Naomi had made plans to get as far away from her mother as possible. She went to Princeton followed by Columbia for medical school; the distance would prove to be somewhat good for them. However, she soon began to see much of her mother within herself which was very scary. Before Sam Naomi was a serial monogamist, dating a different person nearly every other week, breaking things off before she could allow herself to get attached. With Sam, things were different; he seemed to bring out the best in her she liked to think. _

_When she found herself beginning to fall in love with Sam, she tried finding ways to make him leave her but, he was pretty damn persistent. Once they were married and had Maya, she honestly thought that she had beaten it, that she hadn't become her mother. Their marriage was solid, so she thought. Of course they fought, as did every married couple but, they were able to work through their problems. For the first time in her life, she actually thought that she had overcome all of the things of her past, at least until the divorce. _

xx

"Naomi"

"I spent so much time trying not to become her that I did" Naomi said as tears fell down her cheeks

"Naomi, you are not your mother" Sam said quietly

"But I am Sam; I am exactly like my mother; I drove you away, I pushed Maya too hard, I made it difficult for Maya to talk to me..."

"Naomi, listen to me; you are an incredible woman. You are a fantastic mother to Maya, sure she made a few mistakes but, it's because you instilled in her the ability to stand up for what she believes in that she turned out so good"

"What about us, our marriage?" Naomi asked as she wiped away a few tears

"It was good; I loved every second of it and if I could go back and do things differently, I would"

"You mean that?"

"I do" Sam said with a nod

"I'm sorry Sam, for everything; I should've told you, about the baby, about, how I was feeling back then. I should've been more honest about things and-"

"Hey, stop" Sam said placing a finger to her lips

"Stop, Naomi. We both made mistakes in our marriage so, it's not just you. I'm sorry, for Addison; I shouldn't have done that, slept with your best friend" Sam said

"You were a grown man Sam; I had, I have no control over who you sleep with. I'm sorry that I kept stringing you along, not letting you be happy while I did what I wanted and made myself happy. Sam, if, if being with Addison makes you happy then, you should be with her"

"And where does that leave us?" Sam asked

"I don't know" Naomi said with a sigh

"You never did answer my question; do you, still love me?"

"I think...no. I love you Sam but, I think I was more in love with the idea of what we had. It was good it was, you were the first guy I ever allowed myself to really be committed to. Before you I was, I was like Pete; I was unstable in relationships. I'd bail the moment I felt myself getting too attached, that was me. I think I'm always going to love you in that big type of way because, for all intents and purposes, you were my first; first love, first marriage, I became a better person by being with you. I'm always going to have strong feelings towards you Sam I'm not gonna lie. That's actually the reason why I'd get so pissed off when you'd try and move on; I wasn't ready for it. I thought I was but, there was still so much left unsaid between us that, I couldn't"

"And now?"

"Now, I think, I've spent most of my life living and doing things to please other people. Right now, I wanna focus on me"Naomi told him

"So what does that mean?" Sam asked, reaching out to take her hands into his

"It means that I'm gonna go on a vacation for a while; I need time to regroup, find myself. I think I might go back to Africa; I really enjoyed it there" Naomi said with a smile

"What are you gonna do about Betsy?"

"Well, she's been dying to visit Maya so, she could go to New York for a while, stay with Maya"

"Naomi-"

"Sam, I'm doing this for me" Naomi said

"I know just, I'm so sorry Naomi, for everything" Sam said pulling her into a hug

"I know, I'm sorry too" Naomi whispered.

* * *

"Naomi, hey this is a surprise" Addison said as she opened the door to her apartment, Carson on her hip

"Yeah, I hope I'm not interrupting anything" Naomi said with a smile

"Oh, no Carson and I were just hanging out" Addison said with a shrug as she stepped aside to let Naomi in

"So, what brings you by?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry" Naomi said as she took a seat on Addison's couch

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry, Addie; for the way I've acted over the years"

"Naomi, where's this coming from?"

"I talked to Sam last night"

"Oh?"

"Yeah"

"So, do you still love him?"

"A part of me will always, always love Sam but, I think I need to move on" Naomi said

"Nae, if this is because you think-"

"No, it's not that; Sam and I...I wasn't fair to him. I'd moved on with my life several times while I kept him from moving on"

"Naomi-"

"No, let me finish; when Sam and I divorced, I told him that the next woman he found had to be smart and brilliant, and beautiful; he found that with you Addison"

"Naomi, we're not even-"

"You will, just give it time" Naomi said

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my best friend" Addison said with a laugh

"She's right here; I'm here but, I think I sorta lost touch with who I was over the years. I spent so much time trying to be this polite, politically correct person that, I lost touch with who I was and who I wanted to be"Naomi said

"This wouldn't have anything to do with your mother, would it?"

"Actually, it has everything to do with her; I was so afraid of becoming her that, I ended up exactly like her"

"Nae, you're nothing like your mother"

"But I am; my mother was like me, polite, politically correct, always calm and rational, mean, hard to talk to...all of the things I am, but worse. Her husband left her, my husband left me...we're one in the same Addison"

"Naomi"

"I'm going on a trip, a vacation to Africa" Naomi said with a smile

"That's, that's great, Naomi. I really do hope you find what you need in Africa" Addison said, still unconvinced by her friends actions

"Addison, I know what you're thinking; I'm going to Africa to discover me, to discover who I am. I need this Addie" Naomi said reaching out and squeezing her friend's hand

"I hope that Africa brings you everything that you need" Addison said, her tone more sincere.

_Chapter 10 to follow..._

**So to break things down a bit more, Naomi is going to Africa, somewhat on a "self discovery" journey. I'm going to do a chapter on her trip where she's going to confront a lot of her issues; her mother will come into play very soon. Since Addisam is endgame, I had to find a way for things to end on a good note between Sam, Addison and Naomi. I felt that Naomi's emotions needed to be justified but, I wanted there to be a much deeper issue for her. I wanted to explore her past and her actions a bit more because her past is so vague and in order for Naomi, Sam and Addison to coexist peacefully, I had to find a way to make Naomi more, human. Again, I apologize for the long delay with this chapter; I do hope that you all have enjoyed everything so far. There's still a lot I plan to do with Sam, Addison and Naomi, mainly Sam and Naomi. I do have some Addisam moments planned as well as more Carson moments also. Thanks so much for reading and sticking with me for so long, you're all dolls for that!**

**Xx**


	10. Hello, Goodbye

**Hey guys!**

**I'm so excited that you're still here, reading this story. I apologize for the long wait for this chapter. School's started(I'm a junior in college this year)again and I'm already swamped with class work. Plus, I've had a bit of writer's block lately. I think it was from trying to update all of my stories (old and new) at one time. I haven't forgotten about this story, I've actually preplanned out more of this story and I plan to write it as I go. To my non Addisam lovers, I apologize for the overload of Addisam lately; I've got a lot of pre written out Addisam stuff from role play and I wanted to use the material. **

**FlySkyHigh85 said something in her review that I think I'm gonna explore in this chapter, though she may kill me for what I'm about to do. The point of this chapter and chapter 9 was for the whole Addison/Naomi, Sam/Naomi, Addison/Sam/Naomi thing to be totally and completely resolved. The following chapters will focus more on Sam trying to build a relationship with Addison and Carson, as well as deal with more family drama(because his mother has yet to find out about Corinne). Don't worry, just because Addisam is endgame, doesn't mean that Naomi will totally disappear; I plan on focusing on her journey as well. She will find happiness by the time this story ends. Oh, and for all of you who think that Carson is so cute, you should Google his muse, Aden Housley. Any who, I hope you all have enjoyed your summer and are ready to get back into the swing things like school and such. Again, thank you all so much for reading, God Bless**

**Xx**

* * *

"So, Naomi's going to Africa" Addison said as she and Sam had dinner one night; it had sort of become their thing, for Carson's sake, having dinner with both of his parents; something the 11 month old seemed to love.

"Yeah, I know" Sam said with a sigh

"You seem so sad that she's going"

"I am; she's my best friend Addie"

"I thought I was your best friend" Addison said as she took a bite of the cake Sam had made

"Oh my God, you _have_ to give me the recipe for this cake, it is _amazing_" Addison said with her moth full as Sam laughed

"What?"

"Nothing; it's funny, I just, I never pegged you as a woman who knew how to cook" Sam said as he sat back in his chair watching her

"I can cook...well, now anyways. I kind of had to learn, seeing as your son over there loves to eat" Addison said referring to the baby who was sitting in his high chair happily slobbering over his hands which were covered in baby food

"Yeah, little man can eat" Sam said with a laugh as Addison got up to clean up Carson's mess

"I can't believe he'll be a year old next month; Jesus Carson, you're so heavy" Addison said as she picked her son up out of his high chair

"Ma-ma" Carson babbled

"That's right and who's that?" Addison said pointing to Sam

"Da-dy"

"Wow, when'd he learn that word"Sam said in amazement

"Well, he _just_ this morning, but it's something he's been working on. I have a picture of you and him from that time you took him to the park and I point to a lot; and all of a sudden he starts pointing at it and saying 'da-dy'. It was totally cute" Addison said with a smile as she began to clean Carson's mouth

"Yeah; I'll bet it was...you got any plans for his birthday?"

"No, not really; he's turning one so, he won't remember it. I was thinking of maybe doing a little something and inviting a couple of kids, the triplets, Lucas, Sofia, oh my neighbor has a little boy around Carson's age; nothing too big ya know?" Addison said with a shrug just as the doorbell rang

"Oh, take him, I'll get that" Addison said as she passed Carson off to Sam before heading towards the door.

"Nae! What are you doing here?" Addison asked as her friend stood there, a bottle of wine in her hand

"Is this a bad time?"

"Oh no, no Sam's here"

"Sam's here?" Naomi said peeping around Addison's head in search of her ex husband

"Yeah, we had dinner" Addison said with a small smile

"You two had dinner?" Naomi said with a raised eyebrow

"Oh, not like that; we decided to get together and have dinner with Carson once a week"

"Oh, that sounds like a good idea"

"So, what's your big news?"

"I'm gonna be a grandma again!"

"Maya's pregnant?"

"Yeah, she just made 12 weeks; she and Dink wanted to wait until they'd made it out of the first tri-mester before telling anybody"

"Nae, that's great" Addison said hugging her friend as Sam came into the living room, Carson in his arms

"Naomi, hey"

"Sam, hey, I was just telling Addison the good news"

"What good news?"

"Maya didn't call you and tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Sam asked as Naomi and Addison exchanged glances

"Why don't I take Carson, you might wanna sit down for this" Addison said taking the baby from his father

"Naomi, what's going on with Maya? Is she okay, is Olivia okay?"

"Sam relax, Maya's pregnant" Naomi told him

"Again!?"

"See, aren't you glad I took Carson from you?" Addison teased

"Sam you say that like it's a bad thing"

"My baby girl is 20 years old, married, a sophomore in college with a 4 year old daughter and another baby on the way"

"Oh, Sam relax; we'd barely finished med school when I found out I was pregnant with Maya"

"Exactly! Do you remember how hard it was on us raising Maya while trying to finish med school and do our residency?"

"Sam, she's done this before with and she made it through just fine. Liv is 4 now and in preschool this year;Maya will be fine"

"How's she gonna manage all of that with Betsy living with her?"

"Betsy's 10; and she loves Olivia and she'd be willing to help out with anything Maya asked her to do. She loves Maya, you know that"

"Sam, why are you so, upset about this?" Addison asked

"It's not that I'm upset it's just...this wasn't how I imagined things would be. I mean, Carson is barely a year old and he's an uncle; I mean, his niece is older than him. Maya is 20, married in college with 2 kids"

"Sam, stranger things have happened in the past few years than that. I mean, Charlotte King has 4 kids" Addison pointed out as Naomi laughed

"What? That is strange; I mean, not that Charlotte's not a good mother or anything; she's a great mother. I'm just saying that, if you had asked me 7 years ago if I thought that Charlotte King would be married to Cooper with 4 kids...I wouldn't have believed you. Hell if you'd asked me 15 years ago if I would I be divorced, Mark Sloan would be dead, that I'd be living in LA with a child that wasn't Derek Christopher Shepherd's...I'd say you were highly insane; but people plan and God laughs" Addison said looking down at her son

"You know, I'm kind of glad things turned out this way" Addison said softly

"You are?" Sam asked

"Yeah; I mean, sure there are a _lot _of things I'd alter but, if I could have this moment right here, with you two and Carson, I'd keep that. You know, how I went about having him wasn't one of my proudest moments but, I couldn't imagine doing anything other than to be his mom"

"Mama" Carson said looking up at his mother; his blue-green eyes full of adoration

"I love you baby boy, I love you so much" Addison said, pressing a kiss to her son's head as she held him close.

"You know I agree; a lot of things have happened but, it all worked out for the best" Naomi said as she watched her friend interact with her son; maybe this was the way it was supposed to be all along?

_xx_

"I still can't believe you're going to Africa again" Addison sighed as she sat in her office with her friend the following day

"You know, I'm actually excited about this trip" Naomi said as she grabbed a piece of chocolate

"What do you hope to find?" Addison asked quietly

Naomi was silent at this question; there were so many answers that she could give as to why she was going to Africa again. This time however, the reasoning behind her going was very much different.

"You know, the last time I went to Africa, it was to heal after everything that had happened here at the practice with Fife, with William dying, with Maya, and with Dell...and with you and Sam-"

"Nae, I just want to apologize for that, really. Me falling in love with Sam wasn't a part of my plans, honestly. If you had asked me 7 years ago could I have ever seen myself in love with my best friend's ex husband, I would've thought you were crazy" Addison said watching as her friend grew silent

"Can I ask, how did you and Sam, fall in love?"

Taking a moment to bite her lip, Addison thinks hard; when exactly did she fall in love with Sam? That is a question she had never stopped to ask herself.

"Honestly, I don't know; I mean, we had always been close and everything; I think it was after I took over. I don't know, you sort of shut me out, you shut Sam out and, well, we live next door to each other. I mean, we would talk all of the time before then but, it wasn't anything serious. I never expected us to fall in love, hell, he saw me naked on the first day I moved here"

"Wait, Sam saw you naked?"

"Yes, unfortunately; I was dancing around in a towel. I'd just gotten out of the shower, I'm freshly moved into my new place and a Sister Scissors song comes on and I just...I dropped my towel and I'm dancing naked in my bedroom. Then all of a sudden I turn around and there's Sam, staring at me as I dance naked"

"Wow" Naomi said slightly amused

"Hey, do not judge; I had no idea that he even lived next door to me; and it was your idea to use that realtor anyway"

"I know I know I just, the mental picture of you dancing naked and Sam seeking you is quite interesting, and very funny I might add" Naomi said chuckling a little

"It's not _that_ funny Nae"

"Come on, it's funny"

"Anyway; I can't really explain how it happened. I mean one day he's Sam my neighbor and then the next day...he's just Sam"

"So how'd this start, you and Sam?"

"It's funny, you know, he and I used to go hiking all of the time. You had stopped speaking to us and so, we sorta learned to depend and lean on each other, you know? We'd tell each other things that we'd normally tell you and plus he gives really good advice. So we started hanging out more and then one day we were out hiking and he asked me a question"

"What did he ask you?"

"He asked me what if I had said yes to him in med school" Addison said quietly

"He asked you that?"

"Mmhmm; I didn't really have time to answer him, because there was a couple who was hurt. The husband had tried to get help but he got injured; and the wife was stuck in the car and couldn't get out. She was 9 months pregnant and due that day; Sam and I tried to help them; I had to deliver the baby, but the wife, she didn't make it. I freaked out; Sam and I went home and got cleaned up and then we sat out on my deck and had a glass of scotch. Then he asked me again, what if I had said yes"

"And, what did you say?" Naomi asked quietly

"I told him I didn't know; and then the next thing I knew...we kissed" Addison said, watching as Naomi grew quiet

"Nae, Nae I'm really sorry, I can't apologize enough for all that's happened and-"

"Stop Addison, just stop. I don't wanna know anything else" Naomi said firmly

"I just-"

"Addison, I'm not mad; I'm, I don't even know where to begin but, I'm not mad. Hurt, yes but I'm not mad. I think I'm more hurt by everything, even though I know it wasn't something that you two planned but, I feel kind of blindsided by everything, ya know?"

"Nae, I really am sorry; if I could take it all back I-"

"You wouldn't have Carson, and I know how much that little boy means to you Addison; you can't take it back, and even if you could, I don't think you would, because that would mean you not having Carson, and I know how much he means to you"

"He does mean everything to me" Addison said quietly, trying to keep her composure

"I know that if you could take back what you did, you would, but that would mean taking back the best thing that's ever happened to you; and I would be a selfish person to ask you to take back the thing that means most to you. Our friendship will never be what it once was; hell you said it yourself, we haven't been best friends in a long time, since before you moved to LA. I guess I was still hanging onto what used to be, instead of trying to adjust to what was"

"Do you ever think you'll forgive me, for what happened with Sam?"

"That's what this trip to Africa is for; I need time to sort through all of my issues with everything, and it's not just you that I have to deal with. It's my mother, it's my father, it's Fife, it's William, it's Sam, it's Maya, it's Olivia, it's my abortion...I have lots of things to deal with besides what you and Sam did" Naomi said squeezing Addison's hand

"I really am sorry Nae"

"Addie, stop apologizing; I owe you an apology; I'm sorry, for how I've treated you. I was angry, more at myself than you, because I was still holding on to what I thought I wanted, Sam. I realized that, while I did, I do love Sam, I wasn't one hundred percent honest with him about certain things. By not being honest, I caused things to happen between us and I should've been more honest, because if I had been honest, well, things would be different" Naomi said quietly

"Yeah, they would be"

"Hey, I'm not saying that in a bad way; I'm happy that you got to be a mom; I always knew that you'd be a great mom someday"

"Yeah, me too; it's just that, I feel so bad for what I did with Sam, but then a part of me is happy because-"

"Because if you hadn't took that leap, then you wouldn't have a son; and you couldn't imagine your life without him. I understand Addie, I feel the same way about Olivia. I hate the way she was brought into this world, her mother barely being 16 and all but, I can't imagine my life without that little girl. We all make mistakes, all of us; but sometimes, good things can come from those mistakes. Carson and Olivia are the good things. If we were to erase the fact that Maya got pregnant at 16 and that you started dating Sam, the course of events would be forever changed; there would be no Olivia and no Carson and I know that you just like me, couldn't imagine a life without either" Naomi said

"I can't; I honestly can't. While I'm sorry for the way-"

"Addison, you're not sorry; you love Sam and I know you do"

"Nae, I-"

"Addison, I may not be okay with the idea of you and Sam; hell I may never be okay with that but, if Sam is who you truly want to be with, then don't let what I think or how I feel stop you"

"That's just it, it's not just about you, it's about me and how I feel about the whole thing"

"So you don't love Sam?"

"No I do I just, there's so much damage that's been done and-"

"If you two are meant to be, then it'll happen when it's supposed to" Naomi tells her

"Do you ever think we'll be friends again?"

"I think we already are; we've started over, started fresh. I think we needed a fresh start, you and me. The past friendship we had is dead, it ended the minute you moved to LA, because we had been apart for so long and we thought that we could just try and pick up where we left off when we were still in New York. We didn't realize how much we'd grown apart; maybe we did but refused to see it. Still, I think starting over for us will be a good thing. I do warn you though, if you date any of my other exes, I will be forced to kill you and bury your body" Naomi warned

"Trust me, I don't think I'll be dating anyone anytime soon" Addison said with a laugh

"You'll find someone Addie; you're too great of a person not to find happiness"

"Thanks Nae, and I hope, I hope you find, whatever it is that you're looking for" Addison said squeezing her friend's hand

"Me too Addie, me too"

* * *

"Sam, hey; I didn't know Addison let you get Carson for weekend visits" Naomi said as she stood outside her ex husband's door

"She didn't; she got called in for an emergency surgery and Amelia's on call so..."

"Ahh, I see" Naomi nodded as she walked inside

"It'll probably be a while before we work our way up to overnight visits" Sam said as he settled Carson into his playpen

"Just give her time" Naomi said as she took a seat on Sam's couch

"Yeah; I don't think she trusts me" Sam said quietly

"She will, she just needs time" Naomi said softly, reaching out to grab Sam's hand

"Hey, you want some dinner? I was just about to make some" Sam suggested

"No, no I'm fine; I just thought I'd stop by"

"Come on Nae, it'll be like old times"

"Old times didn't include your son with my best friend"Naomi pointed out

"I thought you were over that?"

"Sam, I'm kidding; I'm just teasing. I would love some dinner; you go do that while I spend a little time with Carson" Naomi said lifting the little boy out of his playpen

"I actually meant that you should help me cook" Sam said with a smirk

"Somebody has to keep an eye on Carson; from what Addie tells me, he's a handful" Naomi said as Carson looked up at her in amazement

"He is; he's trying to walk. Addie says he gets into everything at her place"

"Yeah, I noticed that the last time I was there. You two are gonna have your hands full...he's gonna be a little heart breaker" Naomi said as she smiled down at the baby in her arms

"Yeah, just like his daddy" Sam laughed from the kitchen

"Let's hope not exactly like his daddy" Naomi called back as she stood up and headed towards the kitchen

"You know, this is nice; you and me being civil, you and Addison being civil" Sam said as he turned on a pot on the stove

"It is isn't? You know, I never thought I'd be able to be friends with the two of you again after everything that's happened" Naomi said, lightly bouncing Carson on her hip

"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you" Sam warned Naomi

"Do what?" Naomi asked just as Carson threw up on her shirt

"That" Sam said with a sigh

"Shoot" Naomi muttered

"Here, give him to me; take off your shirt"

"What?"

"You wanna get that stain out don't you? I've got some stain remover; go upstairs and grab one of my shirts, put it on and bring your shirt back down here so that I can get the stain out"Sam said as Naomi looked warily

"Come on Nae, we were married once; there was once a time when you didn't mind wearing my shirts" Sam said

"Yeah, that was before my best friend started wearing them" Naomi muttered

"Naomi" Sam said with a sigh

"Alright fine" Naomi said

"She kept my shirts, the ones she used to wear so you don't have to worry about wearing one of my shirts that Addison wore" Sam called out as his ex wife headed upstairs

xx

Standing in her ex husband's bedroom made her feel highly uncomfortable; staring at his bed, she could almost picture the things that happened between Sam and Addison in that bed. She wonders if that was where Carson was conceived.

"Don't worry, those are all new sheets; in fact, that's a brand new bed, which I sleep in alone" Sam's voice called out to her from the doorway

"How did you-"

"I know you Naomi; Addison and I haven't been involved like that since the night we made Carson"

"Sam-"

"I know you better than anybody; I know it'll be a long time before you can fully comprehend what the hell possessed me to fall in love with your best friend. You're trying to be okay with it but, I know you'll always question in the back of your head 'why her'" Sam said

"You're right; you're absolutely right...I hate that you know me so well" Naomi said with a smile

"That's one of the things you love about me" Sam said with a smirk

Dinner turned out to be relatively normal between the two of them, with Carson being their source of entertainment for the night until he fell asleep on them.

"He really is perfect" Sam said as he watched his son sleep

"You really do love him, don't you?" Naomi said quietly

"I do; you know, I feel so guilty that I said that I didn't want this, that I couldn't do it again. I still remember the first time I saw him with her that day in the elevator. I got the biggest surge of guilt for denying him, denying myself, for denying Addison of this. I know it's only been a little over a month but, I feel like I've got so much to make up for" Sam said as he continued watching his little boy sleep.

"I'm sorry Sam" Naomi said suddenly

"Nae, why are you sorry?"

"For not giving you this, another child" she whispered

"Naomi..."

"No, when you said you wanted another baby, I should've listened to you; I was being selfish, I'm sorry"

"Hey, it's okay. What's happened is in the past, I'm over it, you're trying to move past it, that's all we can do" Sam said reaching out to take his ex wife's hand in hers.

"Sam"

"Yeah?"

"I need you to be 100 percent honest with me, okay?"

"Alright"

"Do you, still love me?"

"I do, I think I'm always gonna love you"

"_But_ I sense a but coming"

"_But_, I love Addison too. She may be the most infuriating person on the planet sometimes but, underneath all of that, I love her...but I also love you too"

"Is it because of all of the history we share?"

"Partially; but also because you're a beautiful person Naomi. You are strong, you are talented, you're probably one of the most kindest people I have ever met. You're hard working, determined, insanely beautiful...those are the things that made me fall in love with you all of those years ago" Sam said quietly

"If you love me so much, then why aren't we still together? Why do you have a child with my best friend?"

"Naomi, that's a question you have to ask yourself"

"You left me Sam!"

"Because you lied to me Naomi! You had been lying to me since the beginning of our marriage; do you know how I felt when I heard the doctor say you'd had an abortion, just before getting pregnant with Maya? You didn't tell me Nae, and you never planned on telling me. That hurt me Naomi; then I find out years later that it wasn't even my baby that you aborted; it was because you cheated on me. I would've stayed Nae; why do you think I tried to prolong the divorce? Because I wanted you to be honest with me and tell me, because I knew that if I just came out and said "I know what you did", you wouldn't have been honest with me" Sam said

"So, if I had just been honest with you...you would have stayed?"

"Why do you think I kept coming back Naomi?" Sam said with a smile

They weren't exactly sure how it happened, but soon enough, their lips touched. Neither of them knew what was happening but, they certainly didn't try and stop it. It did stop however, when Carson began to stir in his sleep.

"I should take him upstairs" Sam said quietly as he pulled away from Naomi

"Yeah, I should go" Naomi said as she stood up

"No, don't go" Sam said quietly

"Sam"

"Naomi, don't go; I'll just be a second" Sam said before heading upstairs.

She didn't know what possessed her to kiss Sam; hell she wasn't even sure who kissed who at first but, she enjoyed it, very much. Her lips were still tingling from where Sam had kissed her as she ran a finger over her lips. She was surprised when Sam came downstairs a few moments later and stood in front of her.

"Sam, what are we doing?" Naomi asked

"I don't know" Sam said softly, gently stroking Naomi's face

"Sam" Naomi whispered softly as Sam gently kissed her again before leading her upstairs to his bedroom.

The kisses were sweet, slow and sensual; almost as if they had still been doing this, though they had been divorced for several years. He still knew what spots made her weak in the knees, which spots to kiss on her neck would make her moan. She still knew just where to grab him that would make him groan her name. When he entered her, it was as if he had never left; to him, being with Naomi felt like home. However, while it may have felt familiar, they were both highly aware of the disconnect between them. For Sam and Naomi, this was nothing like old times when they were married; no, it was more nostalgic than anything for them. Of course it was good, because he was Sam and she was Naomi; but they both knew that when they reached their peaks, that this was it for them.

* * *

The next morning was rather awkward for the two of them.

"So..." Sam started as he made breakfast for the two of them and Carson, who sat in Naomi's lap

"Look Sam, about last night, I-" Naomi started, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it" Sam said as Naomi sat quietly at the counter; what she was shocked to find, was Addison coming around the corner behind Sam.

"...My patient kept coding last night and..._Naomi?"_ Addison said, completely shocked to find her best friend sitting in Sam's kitchen, wearing Sam's shirt.

"Addison"Naomi said in total and complete shock, as she quickly took in her attire

"You two slept together, while Carson was here?" Addison asked in disbelief

"Addison-"

"No, my son was here and you two decided that you wanna roll around in the sheets?" Addison questioned, getting upset

"Addison, it wasn't even like that; I don't know how it happened but, it just did" Naomi said

"I asked you two if you were still in love with one another; you both said no and now I come over and find out that you two had sex last night"

"Addie" Sam sighed

"No, don't Addie me, Sam. I mean, if you two were still in love then-"

"We're not" Naomi said cutting Addison off

"Wait, what?"

"Isn't this how you and Sam got Carson?" Naomi asked

"That's totally different"

"It's not that different"Naomi said

"It is, because when I had sex with Sam, I was still very much in love with him. You on the other hand said that you weren't" Addison said

"Wait, you were still in love with me?" Sam asked

"Did you _think_ I could just sleep with you and not feel _anything, _Sam? We'd _just _broken up a few weeks ago; and I was pretty sure I was gonna spend the rest of my life with you" Addison said, folding her arms across her chest

"Addison, look; Sam and I were just about to discuss last night; I think it's best that you stay for this conversation, because it involves you too"

"No it doesn't; because I don't need details"

"It does involve you; because the 3 of us have a lot to talk about" Naomi told her

"What do I have to do with you still being in love with Sam?"

"You have _everything_ to do with it; and I'm not _in_ love with Sam. I just _love_ Sam, very much"

"So what you're saying is that you _love_ Sam, you're just not _in_ love with him"

"That is exactly what I'm saying"

"I'm in love with you, but I love Naomi also, and it's not something I can just make go away Addison" Sam said quietly

"Oh my God; how the hell is it that I manage to get myself pulled into yet _another_ love triangle?" Addison muttered as she ran a hand through her hair

"Addison, this isn't a love triangle"Naomi said

"It sure as hell feels like it" the redhead muttered

"Addison, I love you, I do, I really do; but there's so much history there with Nae; and I had been honest, if we had _both_ been honest, we'd still be married" Sam explained

"So again, what does that have to do with me?"

"While I love Naomi and I always will; I think last night for the both of us was our way of officially putting that chapter of our lives to bed. We're always gonna have love for each other, but we also realize that we had our chance, we had several chances to make things right; but we didn't. We can't go back and change the past, we can only try and move forward" Sam said

"He's right Addie; last night was just, our way of saying goodbye. We talked afterward and so much was said. We've really hurt one another over the years and we both left so many things unsaid and I think last night was just, our way of truly letting go of everything" Naomi said

"That still doesn't tell me what that the hell all of that has to do with me"Addison said

"Sam loves you; I don't get why but, he does. He really does" Naomi said

"Yet he slept with you"

"So you're telling me that if given the chance, you'd never sleep with Derek again, you wouldn't do it? Not even with a 20 year history?" Naomi asked

"Honestly? No. Why? Because, while I love Derek, we put all of our issues to bed years ago; do I miss those days when we were happy? Of course I do, but I also know that we messed up; and that we weren't completely honest with one another. While I will always love Derek, I know that there's too much damage for us to ever make it work again. I slept with 2 of his best friends and got pregnant by them both; the only difference is that I kept Sam's baby and not Mark's. Plus, not only did that happen, but his other best friend raped me. Even if we did try, there's just too much damage" Addison said

Addison's words rang true in Naomi's head; while both she and Sam had so much history with one another, she knew that if given another chance to make it work as a couple, they would never work out. Like Addison said, there was too much damage done in their relationship; with her keeping the abortion a secret, to Sam sleeping and dating Addison, to her sleeping with Bryce and Duncan. As hard as they tried, she and Sam would never be what they once were.

"She's right Sam; I think last night was more than just goodbye for us; I think it was more of a let's see if we can make us work again. As much as we'd both like that, I don't think it would work Sam" Naomi said

"She's right; you're both right" Sam sighed

"So this is it then, for us; this is the final it's done?"

"Yeah, we're done" Sam said with a sigh

"Addison, I owe you, we both owe you a long overdue apology, for how we've treated you; you've apologized to the both of us but, we haven't really said we're sorry to you. I'm sorry Addie, I really am; you've been such an amazing friend to me and you've never judged me at all for any of the things I've done, even though I should've been judged for most of it. I'm sorry Addie; and if you still love Sam, don't let me stop you from being happy. I have no control over what Sam does and what you do. I may never understand it, hell I may never be able to accept it but, if Sam is who you want to be with then I say go for it" Naomi said

"I'm sorry too Addie, for everything, especially for Carson. I think that was probably the worst mistake of my life, not being there for him, or for you. I was so wrong for telling you that I didn't want to do this, to be a father again; but every time I look at that little boy, at our son, I can' help but think of how much of an idiot that I was for all of it. I am so sorry Addie" Sam said before turning to Naomi

"I owe you an apology as well Nae; I should've told you, that I knew. Even if you had denied it and lied to me about it, I should've told you that I knew about the abortion. I'm sorry that I just suddenly decided to up and leave you like that and allowed you to think that I wasn't happy with you anymore; because I was happy Naomi. I was insanely happy with you and our life together; I was so angry and hurt and I just...I reacted the wrong way. I should have come to you and told you. I know you don't understand it but, I really am sorry about Addison. I didn't fall in love with her to spite you or to piss you off; Addie and I just happened. I can't explain it but, we just did. I know you'll probably always wonder why her but, I didn't mean to hurt you Nae; I didn't mean to hurt either you. I'm sorry" Sam said quietly

"Sam, I'm sorry; I am so sorry for everything that I've done to you; I'm sorry for cheating on you, and for the abortion. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about it, that I hid it from you. I shouldn't have done that to you, or to our marriage. I'm sorry that I stopped you from trying to be happy even though I'd moved on several times with my own life. I'm so sorry for walking out on Maya and leaving you to handle all of that. I'm sorry for trying to make our daughter have an abortion...I'm just, I'm so sorry Sam" Naomi said, no longer able to hold her emotions together as Sam pulled her into a hug

"Hey, shhhh, shhh, it's okay Nae, it's alright I forgive you. I'm sorry too" Sam said soothingly as his ex wife finally allowed herself to cry on his shoulder, finally showing her weakness.

"Addie, can you ever forgive me?" Naomi sniffled, looking over at her best friend

"I think, I think your trip to Africa will do us all some good; I think we all need time to, process everything. We've each done so much to our friendship that we need time apart, to try and wrap our heads around everything. Right now, my emotions are too raw for me to say I forgive you, but I can't say that I don't forgive you. Ask me that again once you come back from Africa, then maybe I'll have an answer for you; but I am going to miss you, so much" Addison said tearfully as she pulled Naomi into a hug.

_xx_

As she stood in the middle of her empty apartment, Naomi felt ready; she had never been more sure of anything in her life. She had resolved her two biggest issues here in Los Angeles. She had finally come to accept the fact that she and Sam were done, and this time for good. She wasn't quite sure where her friendship stood with Addison; though the redhead's words rang true, there was so much damage done to their relationship as well as her relationship with both Addison and Sam that it would take time and great distance in order for time to tell whether they could ever truly make a mends of anything. When she left for Africa the first time, there was so much clouding her judgment, but this time as she exited her home, Betsy in tow, she felt as though this time would be completely different, if and when she came back to Los Angeles, things would be alright.

"So, how long will it be before you come to New York and visit me?" Betsy asked as she and her adoptive mother walked hand in hand through the airport

"I don't know; it won't be too long, because you know I can't stay away from you for too long. Now, I know you'll be a good girl for Maya but-"

"I know, you just want to remind me, just in case I forget" Betsy said with a smile as they reached Betsy's boarding destination

"Alright Betsy, I don't want you to think that I'm abandoning you forever, because I would never do that to you" Naomi explained

"Mom, I get it; this isn't like when my dad died. I know you're coming back for me" the 10 year old said wrapping her arms tightly around her mother

"I love you so much Betsy" Naomi whispered

"I love you too"

"Be a good girl for Maya and Dink!"Naomi called out as she watched her daughter head towards the flight attendant, handing her her ticket

"I will; have fun in Africa!" Betsy called back before disappearing behind the curtain

Sighing heavily, Naomi tightened her grip on her suitcase as she made her way to her own boarding gate where she was surprised to find Addison with Carson.

"Addie, I wasn't expecting to see you here" Naomi said, surprise evident in her voice

"You didn't think I'd let you leave and go to Africa for, God knows how long without saying goodbye did you?" Addison smirked

"I just thought after last night that-"

"I do mean what I said but, you're leaving and I can't very well let you leave without saying goodbye" Addison said as she wrapped her arms around her friend

"I'm gonna miss you, so much" Naomi said getting tearful

"Yeah, me too" Addison whispered before letting Naomi go

"I don't know how long I'll be gone but-"

"I know; you don't have to worry about a thing. We, will be just fine, won't we Carson?" Addison said to her son

"Oh, I'm gonna miss so much with him; I'll make sure to send his birthday gift" Naomi said, leaning forward to press a kiss to Carson's head

"We'll be looking for it in the mail" Addison smiled

"And you, give Sam a chance...speaking of Sam where is he? I was so sure that he'd be here" Naomi said looking around for her ex husband

"I haven't talked to him"

"Give him a chance Addie" Naomi said softly

"I won't make any promises; now go on, you're gonna miss your flight and _that _would be bad" Addison smiled as the announcer made the call for final boarding

"I'll see you?"

"Yeah, I'll see you" Addison said as she and Carson waved to Naomi as she boarded the plane.

After putting her luggage in the compartment above her seat, Naomi got herself comfortable, placing her phone on airplane mode before relaxing in her seat, completely ready for the journey ahead of her.

"Is this seat taken?" a voice called out to her, looking up she was surprised to find a man standing there, a very attractive man at that

"Oh, no not at all" Naomi said, moving so that the man could sit down next to her

"Robert, Robert Winston" he said extending his hand

"Naomi, _Dr._ Naomi Bennett" she said, looking him over; there was something about this man that made her heart flutter just a bit; he was attractive, highly attractive at that.

"Dr? Interesting. Are you an M.D or a PhD?" Robert asked

"I am an M.D an OBGYN, fertility specialist and an endocrinologist" Naomi said proudly

"Wow, that's impressive; so, _Dr._ Bennett what's a woman like yourself doing on an international flight like this?"

"I, am going to Africa, partially for business; my foundation does a lot of business there"

"And the other reason?"

"You're very direct" Naomi said, giving him a coy smile

"You're an intriguing woman; so, you gonna tell me what the other part of this trip is about?"

"I needed time to find myself; I've experienced a_ great_ deal of stress in my life over the past few years so, I needed a little vacation. What's a man like yourself doing on a international flight like this one?"

"I'm a photojournalist"

"That's impressive; going to Africa to take pictures of the wild?"

"That and I'm going to Sudan for a while; I'm working on a piece about the genocide happening over there" Robert said with a nod

"That, is very, _very_ impressive Mr. Winston" Naomi smiled as the flight attendant began to go over all of the necessary safety procedures. As the plane took off, Naomi felt that this trip to Africa would be life changing, and something told her that the man sitting next to her would play a major part of that change.

"Goodbye Los Angeles, _Hello Africa_" Naomi said glancing out of her window at Los Angeles as it slowly disappeared, only to be replaced by clouds, and many great possibilities.


	11. Everyon's Responsible

**Again, thank you all so much for reading this story; I'm glad you all like it so much. So, as I said in the last chapter, Naomi isn't just going to disappear-she'll be around for the rest of this story, which I have no ending for just yet. Oh and Naomi's love interest is actucally Audra's real life husband Will Swinson, whom you'll see more of in the next chapter. This chapter focuses on Sam, because like I said, his mother has yet to learn of Corinne's death. Also, Sam's father will also appear in this chapter. As far as Sam and Addison's relationship-you'll just have to wait and see how that plays out, but I promise you Addisam lovers, it'll be worth the read. Any who, thanks for reading, don't forget to review and I hope you all enjoy chapter 11!**

**Xx**

_8 Weeks Earlier_

_Sitting outside on his deck, Sam Bennett sighs heavily; the past several days have probably been some of the worst of his life. Staring down at his cell phone, he dreads the phone call he has to make but, he knows that he must do it. Blinking back a few tears, he scrolls down his contact list until he finds it; 'mom'. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he hits the 'call' button and waits for the phone to ring. _

"_Hello? Ma? Hey it's me...yeah, yeah everything's...no it's not. I've got some bad news...it's about Corinne..."_

Los Angeles Present Day

Standing in the cemetery, Sam Bennett carefully pulls his coat closer to his body to keep him warm. Today is the first day he's been here to visit her, his sister Corinne. He thinks it's weird, coming here to see her, to talk to her; she can't see him, she can't talk back. He doesn't know exactly why he's here but, something just feels right about him being here.

"Naomi left today" he says quietly, reaching out to touch the engraved headstone which holds his sister's name, date of birth and date of death.

_xx_

_He still remembers everything, as if it were yesterday; he still remembers watching as the nurses placed Corinne's body into the body bag, slowly zipping it up before it was wheeled down to the morgue. After his big blow up with Naomi and Addison, he called his mother, who seemed, oddly calm about the whole thing. It was Raymond and Mary, mostly Mary who were shaken up by Corinne's sudden death. Dee made her way to Los Angeles 3 days later for the quick and private ceremony which was attended by everyone from the practice, except Addison who had immediately flown to Seattle to see Derek; she was technically back in town, but was still reeling from everything that had happened while she was gone. _

_The service was pretty quick, 20, 30 minutes at the most; he remembers standing there next to his mother as Corinne's body was placed into the incinerator for cremation. It wasn't until after everyone from the practice had left, and that he and his mother were left alone with Corinne's remains that Sam saw his mother weep for her daughter. _

"_She tried to tell me, she tried so hard to tell me" Dee whispered_

"_Tell you what?"_

"_The last time I was here, she tried telling me about what happened to her"_

"_Mama, please not now; Corinne is gone, there's nothing more we can do about that" Sam said firmly before turning to walk away._

"_Mary told me, what happened; she said that Kerry had come over to their house, smelling of weed and alcohol and that he told them, what he had done to Corinne" _

"_So wait, you knew, you knew this entire time, that she was telling the truth?" Sam said, staring at his mother in disbelief_

"_It wasn't until after I left that Mary told me, told us; because Raymond didn't know either"_

"_So you've known about this, all this time and now-"_

"_Sam, Sam I tried to call Corinne to apologize but-"_

"_Apologize!? You think an apology was going to suffice what he did, for what happened to her!?"_

"_Sam-"_

"_No! I don't wanna hear it mama; my sister is dead, and you and Raymond are responsible for this, just as much as Kerry is!" Sam shouted before walking away._

* * *

"I still can't believe she left today; I don't know how long she's gonna be gone but, I hope she comes back soon" Sam says to the headstone as he shoves his hands deeper into his pockets.

"Addie told me she brought Carson to see you...he's gotten so big now; he'll be one in a couple of weeks" Sam says with a smile.

"You know, I was just telling Addie the other day that he's got your smile, and your eyes; well actually he's got Addison's eye color, but his eyes, they're big and expressive, like yours were" Sam says just as his cell phone rings.

"This is Sam Bennett"

"_I didn't think you'd answer the phone" Raymond says softly_

"What do you want Raymond?" Sam replies with a sigh

"_Can't a man call and talk to his son?"_

"You're not my father, we've been over this before"

"_I know you hate me Sam"_

"Damn right I do"

"_And you have every right to; but, I don't wanna go to my grave knowing that I didn't get a chance to apologize to my son. I wouldn't be able to live with it, knowing that I was responsible for killing one child, and having the other one hate me" Raymond said before being hit with a nasty coughing spell_

"Are you, okay, Raymond?"

"_I'm dying Sam; the docs say there's nothing more they can do for me"_

"Well what about-"

"_We both know that the only way I could be saved would require a donor, and I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't be up for donating me a lung now would you?"_

"I don't know Raymond..."

"_Sam, I'm kidding; I've been on the transplant list for over 2 years now; there's virtually nothing that can be done at this point. I've come to the end of my rope"_

"So you're calling to say goodbye?"

"_I was actually hoping to say goodbye in person"_

"Wait, you want me to fly to Boston to see you?"

"_It'd be nice if you did...come on Sam, grant an old man his dying wish" Raymond says to him._

"...Alright fine, but I'm not coming alone"

"_Oh?"_

"No; There's...somebody you should meet, someone you and mom should _both_ meet"

"_Am I finally going to meet this Naomi that you were married to and meet my granddaughter and my great-granddaughter?"_

"I'll have to call Maya and see what we can do about that; I can't make you any promises because Maya's a married woman with a child and another child on the way"

"_I'll take what I can get; so who is this special person I'm meeting anyway?"_

"...Your grandson"

_xx_

Standing outside of his ex's apartment, Sam knocks on the door carefully, waiting a few moments before hearing his son's cries coming from inside the apartment.

"Hey" Addison says tiredly, a fussy Carson in her arms

"Hey...what's wrong?"

"Ugh, he's got another tooth coming in and it's giving him a fit" Addison sighs as Carson instantly holds his hands out towards Sam

"Da-dy! Da-dyyyy"

"Hey, daddy's big man, those teeth giving you a hard time buddy?" Sam speaks softly to his son who instantly nuzzles his head against his father's neck

"How long's he been like this?" Sam asks Addison, feeling the little boy's head for a fever

"Half an hour maybe? I tried giving him something for the fever but, he's barely keeping anything down and, well, he _hates_ medicine" Addison says, concern evident in her voice

"All babies do; he should be fine, he was just fighting his sleep, that's all" Sam says motioning towards the now sleeping baby in his arms

"You're so good with him...I hate that" Addison says, a small smile on her face as she makes her way into the living room to sit down on her couch.

"Yeah...you moving again?" Sam asks as he carefully takes a seat on her couch, instantly noticing the moving boxes that are now all over her empty walls in her apartment

"Uh, yeah; I'm, moving back, into my beach house...Amelia and James are getting married and they're talking about buying a house and, the beach is a nice place to raise a kid" Addison says softly as she watches Sam with Carson

"You didn't tell me you were moving back into your place"

"Well, the last time we talked, you and I weren't exactly on the best of terms, seeing as how you had sex with my best friend, who is your ex wife while our son was...by the way where _was_ Carson while all of this was going on?" Addison asks as she sits back on the couch, her arms folded across her chest

"He was asleep down the hall" Sam says with a sigh as Addison rolls her eyes

"Oh come on, you mean to tell me that you haven't-"

"I haven't"

"You're telling me that you haven't been on a date-"

"When you're pregnant with your ex boyfriend's baby, your ex boyfriend who was also married to your best friend...yeah, guys aren't exactly lining up at your door"

"So you haven't been asked out by anyone?"

"I've been asked out quite a few times"

"And you mean to tell me-"

"I turned them all down" Addison says plainly

"_Why?_"

"_Sam_, I am a _single mother_, I am _well _over the age of 40 with a _very_ _messy_ dating history; I'm a working woman seeing_ several _patients and doing _multiple_ surgeries a day. Hell, most of the time when I'm not busy tending to _your_ son, I barely have time to change my clothes...dating and sex doesn't exactly factor into that lifestyle"

"So, you haven't had sex since..."

"The last time you and I slept together"

"Addison, that's been-"

"Sam, I do _not_ need to reminded of how_ long _it has been since I've gotten laid, _or_ how incredibly _sad _it is that it's been _that _long since I've _gotten_ laid...why'd you come here anyway? I hope it wasn't to pry into my _nonexistent_ sex life"

"No...though I do feel bad for you because-"

"_If you bring up how long it's been since I had sex so help me God Sam Bennett_..."

"Alright sorry. I actually came over here because...my father called me today" Sam says

"_Your father? _Wait, _Raymond called you?_ _Wow_"Addison says raising her eyebrows

"Yeah"

"Well, what did he want?"

"He says he's dying, that the doctors say he's well past the point of a transplant and that there's nothing more they can do"

"Oh, God Sam I'm, really sorry" Addison says sympathetically

"Yeah...but that's not all"

"It's not?"

"No, I may have...mentioned that I'd bring Carson with me when I went to see him"

"Wait...you did _what?_"

"I said I may have-"

"No, I _heard_ what you said but...are you kidding me right now? Sam! You do _not_ just jump up and make decisions like this about Carson without telling me!"

"Okay whoa, that's a little bit like the pot calling the kettle black here, Addison"

"What?"

"You unilaterally made the decision that I should stay away from Carson-"

"That is totally _completely_ different Sam and you know it is"

"It's not that different"

"_You didn't want him, Sam! _I wasn't going to sit around and wait for you to want to be a part of his life"

"It wasn't a decision for _you_ to make on your own Addison!"

"It was because _I_ was the one who was going to be responsible for him; tell me something, had you even thought about Carson before I brought him to work that day?"

"I did; I thought about my little boy every single day"

"But still when I asked you if you were ready for this, to be his dad the day he was born, you couldn't answer me?"

"It's not something you just...it was hard for me Addison"

"_And you don't think it was hard for me?_ Sam, I loved you, hell I still love you, even though you've been a jackass and you've put me through _so much_-"

"Okay hold on; you're not so innocent in this yourself Addison"

"I have owned up to my parts in this Sam!"

"Have you really? Because I don't seem to remember you consulting me when you decided that you wanted to have a baby. You just _told_ me that that was what you wanted; you said you didn't need to talk about it, you were gonna have a baby, not _we_, you! You see, that's the problem Addison, _you're so damn selfish_...not _once_ did you stop and think about how _I_ felt, or what _I _think, not _once _did you think about the fact that I had _just_ watched my child's life go straight down the toilet because she got pregnant. You didn't think about how hurt, or how stressed out or how angry I was about Naomi trying to _force_ our daughter to have an abortion and then walking away for months when she decided not to. You didn't care about the fact that I had to operate on the man who had almost took my daughter away from me and then killed Dell, or how I was scared to death that you weren't going to be a god in that OR and be able to save Maya! No, you only cared about making yourself happy! You never asked me _once_ about how I felt; you just expected me to be like Derek and-"

"Get out"

"What?"

"Give me my son and then get the hell out"

"Addison-"

"No, don't 'Addison' me; get out, right now" Addison says firmly as Sam stands up, sighing heavily as Carson begins to stir in his sleep

"Alright little man, don't give your mama too much trouble now" Sam whispers softly to his son before handing him over to Addison

"Addie I really-"

"Go Sam, please just, go"

"I'm sorry" Sam says sighing heavily before heading towards the door.

* * *

"Wow, you look like hell" Amelia points out to Addison the following Monday morning as she finds the redhead barely awake as she tries to sip on her coffee.

"Shut up, I had a rough weekend; between moving back into my old place and your nephew being grumpy, whinny _and_ cranky, I'm a _beyond _tired" Addison sighs heavily

"Yeah, I heard him last night; poor kid" Amelia says softly before opening the fridge

"Hey can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure what is it?"

"Do you think I'm selfish?" Addison suddenly asks

"Wait, _what?_" Amelia laughs

"_Do you_, think that I'm selfish?"

"Do you _really_ want me to answer that one for you?"

"So, you're saying that I am selfish?"

"I'm saying...you can be selfish, _at times_; but only when it's something you're really serious about. You get this one track mind and you don't really care who you hurt in the process. Where the hell is this coming from anyway?"

"Sam"

"Sam called you selfish?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Because he came over to my place this weekend and, we had a stupid fight; plus, I was already pissed at him for sleeping with Naomi and-"

"Wait, Sam and Naomi slept together?!"

"Amelia! Shh! Nobody knows about it; it was before she left" Addison says quietly

"Wait, what the hell is the deal between the two of them? I mean, if they slept together then why'd she-"

"It didn't mean anything; it was sort of, their way of seeing if there was anything still there worth trying to fight for"

"Okay...but,_ why were you mad?_"

"Because Carson was there"

"Yeah, somehow, I'm not exactly buying that one Addie; I mean I'm sure you were pissed that they had sex while your kid was there but, something tells me that it's much more serious than that" Amelia says taking a seat on the empty stool next to Addison

"I don't know, maybe there's more to it than that" Addison mumbles into her coffee

"Could it be because maybe you still love Sam?" Amelia said softly

"I shouldn't love him"

"But you do, don't you?"

"This is all so, morally fucked up; God, I feel like my life is this horribly written TV drama or something" Addison sighs

"Morally fucked up as it may be, you are in love with Sam; and I don't think you've ever stopped"

"You're right, I haven't...I hate that you're right"

"No, you love me for being right"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"You need to be honest and tell Sam how you feel, that's a start" Amelia says, wrapping an arm around the redhead

"How'd you get to be so wise?" Addison asks

"Well, let's see; I saw my father get shot when I was 5, I was on drugs, I crashed my brother's car after writing myself a prescription; I OD'd and was dead for two whole minutes, I got sober, went to college became a world class neurosurgeon; I found a great job here but I relapsed, I fell in love with a fellow drug addict who died in my arms; I got sober again but found out I was pregnant...but my baby didn't have a brain, I gave birth to said baby and donated his organs to other sick babies across the country and I have somehow managed to find love again with the most amazing man in the world, I'm getting married and...I think I might be pregnant" Amelia says, adding the last part in and leaving Addison completely shocked

"Amelia, you think you're-"

"I'm late; I'm _really_ late and, James and I have sex,_ lots and lots of sex_ and...we don't use protection...but I wanna make sure, you know, do all of the necessary tests and everything...would you mind..."

"Amelia" Addison says tearfully before pulling the girl into a tight hug

"Careful Addie, ya don't wanna squish your future niece or nephew now do ya?" Amelia says with a smirk

"No, no, no, we wouldn't want that" Addison says with a huge grin

"So, we'll get together and you'll do your thing?"

"Yeah, just let me know when you're free and we'll set something up" Addison says with a smile

"Cool. I've got a surgery in half an hour so, after my surgery?"

"Yeah, sure; I'll just bump my other patients" Addison laughs as Amelia exits the kitchen, greeting Charlotte on her way out

"You look, oddly chipper, while somehow managing to look like you haven't slept in 5 years" Charlotte greets the redhead

"Hi to you too Charlotte; I don't know whether to be angry or to agree with you for that last comment" Addison says

"You're a mother; I'd think something was seriously wrong if you didn't look like that"

"Gee, thanks"

"No problem; so, have ya heard from Naomi, or are you two even speaking?"

"She _actually _called me a few days ago; she says Africa's going well" Addison says with a nod as Charlotte stares at her

"What?"

"I don't get you two; you steal her job, then her man, ya get pregnant by him and somehow you two are still friends"

"Wow, you're very, _blunt_"

"Montgomery, ya've known me for 7 years now, did ya think me becomin' a momma was gon' change that?"

"Naomi and I aren't 'friends'; we're...getting there. Our friendship is deeper than everyone here at the practice saw; there are things that happened between us...we weren't best friends when I first moved here. We hadn't talked since before we both got divorced but, we were so used to using the word 'best friend' that, we didn't stop and examine our friendship first.. We just thought we could pick up where we left off and we couldn't"

"...That still doesn't explain Sam" Charlotte says, causing Addison to roll her eyes

"Sam and I were, I don't know what we were but...that's situation is highly complicated"

"Doesn't seem to be so complicated, I mean you and Sam seem like a family when you have Carson around"

"We have to be civil; we're his parents"

"Montgomery..."

"What?"

"You...nothin'" Charlotte says before turning to walk away

"No Charlotte, what were you going to say?"

"You sure you wanna hear this?"

"I could use a little honesty from Charlotte King right about now so, go ahead"

"You're a good person Addison, and I'm sure ya mean well but...you're selfish. Ya didn't stop and think about how you dating Naomi's ex husband would make her feel...ya just, did it. Ya knew it was wrong but, ya went on and did it any way and then expected her to forgive ya for it? If it were me, It'd be a long time in hell before I forgave ya for somethin' like that. _If_ I even forgive you"

"Is that all?"

"Ya asked me for my opinion so, I gave it to ya"

"So basically, I'm selfish and I'm a whore...great Charlotte, _just what every girl wants to here first thing in the morning_"

"See, you're taking what I said completely out of context; I didn't say you were a whore Addison, all I said was that, when it comes down to certain things, ya tend to be selfish, and you don't think about other people and how they feel"

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Stop being so damn selfish; consider others. Look, I'm not saying you wanting to be happy is a bad thing; I'm simply sayin', should your happiness really come at the expense of someone else's? I mean, take a look at what's happened lately; you taking over the practice, while it was the best damn thing that every could've happened, look at what it almost did to the practice and to your friendship with Naomi. You being with Sam, hurt Naomi, you having a baby, it hurt Naomi even more and it didn't make Sam happy; it only made you happy. Ya got what you wanted, _but did you really?_ Think about it Addison, all you've got is that little boy... and while I'm sure that you love Carson more than anything, don't you think you could've still had Carson and not hurt so many people in the process?" Charlotte asks, leaving the redhead with a hell of a lot to think about.

_xx_

"You were right" Addison says, walking into Sam's office later that day

"What?"

"I said, you were right, the other day; I am selfish"

"Okay..."

"I owe you an apology, I owe you the world's _biggest_ apology, Sam. I'm sorry; I am, _god you have no idea of how sorry I am_. I just...if I could take it all back Sam, I would. I _never_ expected any of this to happen, falling in love with you, having a baby with you, none of this..."

"And you came to this revelation, how exactly?

"I talked to Charlotte today"

"And you learned _all of this_ while talking to Charlotte King?"

"Actually, I had been thinking about what you said since you left and I just...all I've ever wanted was to be happy, ya know? I've always been so, _cautious_ of what people would say or think if I did this or that...my happiness has always been at the expense of others. I guess after everything with Derek, I just sort of set out on this whole, path to finding my own happiness that I just, I stopped caring about other people and their feelings in the process; because if I did, I would never be happy. I would forever be stuck, doing things that pleased other people"

"So being with me-"

"Made me happy, it made me _very_ happy; but it was scary, because I knew the risks. I knew how much being with you would cost me; which is why I was so apprehensive at first. I didn't want to hurt anyone but, I just...you were different, different than Derek, different than Mark. You were different than, anyone else I've ever been with...I wasn't going to come over to your place that day but, it just kept eating at me and then...there I was"

"Do you regret it, being with me?"

"No, for that brief short period of time, I was happy with everything; plus if I regretted it, I wouldn't have my, _our_ son" Addison says softly

"I wish you would've asked me how I felt about the whole babies thing" Sam says quietly

"Yeah"

"Because I would've said yes; not right away but, eventually, I would've given you a child Addison"

"So, what do we do now?"

"Well, we can't change the past but, we can work from where we are; see what happens" Sam says

"You know, I think I'd like for Carson to go to Boston and visit your, Raymond" Addison says with a smile

"I'd like that too; but I'd also like it even more if you came along with us"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I'd like that" Sam says with a small smile

"I'd like that too" Addison says, smiling back at Sam


	12. Fear of Flying

**So I'm back with the next chapter of this story; I have a couple more chapters planned out but still NO solid concrete ending. Anywho, this chapter is all about Naomi so, enjoy. Oh and I apologize in how short it is, but more is coming of Naomi, I promise!**

**Xx**

Sitting in her seat, Naomi Bennett stares out at the beautiful clouds from 30,000 feet. It's a calming feeling, being on a plane to another place. The fact that she's on a plane to what could possibly be the most beautiful, yet disturbingly ugly place on the planet is even more calming to her. She remembers her father saying that he always wanted to visit Africa, in fact he told her that was what he was going to do before he married her mother. She often wonders if her father ever made it to Africa, amongst other things.

"You seem lost in thought" her new friend and fellow passenger Robert Winston says

"Hmm? Oh, I just...I'm thinking" Naomi says, moving slightly so that Robert could get comfortable in his seat

"Oh? Mind if I ask about what?"

"Trust me, you don't wanna get yourself caught up in my crazy" Naomi says with a smile

"There's nothing I can't handle, try me"

"Okay, I was married, to a wonderful man; we were together almost 17 years when he suddenly decided to ask me for a divorce"

"Wait, is he crazy?"

"Ah, he had his reasons, he just...didn't tell me. It was actually because of something I did"

"What could you have done that was so-"

"I cheated; a few weeks before we were to get married, I cheated...and, I got pregnant but, the baby, it wasn't my ex husband's"

"What happened to the baby?" Robert asked

"I quietly had an abortion...and I never told Sam, my ex husband" Naomi says quietly; she has no idea why she's telling this total and complete stranger all of her most personal business; but somehow, she feels like she can trust him. And honestly, it feels good to have a non biased person to talk to about all of this. Robert was neutral, Robert was Switzerland and, right about now, she liked Switzerland, for more reasons than one"

"Wow...so how did he find out?"

"He ended up finding out that I had an abortion when I had to have a cyst removed. He had been trying to convince me to have another baby but, I wasn't ready. Sam was asking my doctor about us possibly conceiving again and, she let it slip, assuming that Sam knew"

"And apparently, he didn't know...ouch"

"Yeah; he knew but, he was angry and hurt and, he quickly filed for divorce. He thought that by suddenly filing for divorce would make me question his motive behind it"

"And you didn't?"

"No. I just assumed that he was no longer happy so, we amicably divorced, splitting everything fifty fifty, but still continuing to work together as business partners"

"Wait, you two own a business together?"

"Owned; we ran a private medical cooperative practice together for 11 years until we dissolved it"

"Was it because of the divorce? Because something tells me that two people can't divorce and still work together, especially when there's lying, deceit and abandonment involved"

"No, no, no. Oceanside Wellness closed because of, other reasons"

"Oh?"

"Yes, reasons I'd rather not discuss"

"No problem; I'm not one to pry into other people's business" Robert says with his hands raised in defense

"Oh, it's not you it's just...it was pretty messy; but, one of my closest friend's took over and re opened the practice, but under a new name; Seaside Health and Wellness"

"Hey, I've heard of that name; that practice was in the press a few weeks back, something about it receiving an award or something. Plus, the woman who owns the practice is some hot shot neonatal surgeon"

"That would be the friend I was telling you about" Naomi says with a nod

"You know her?"

"I do; and if it wasn't for her stepping in when she did, I don't know if Oceanside would've lasted much longer"

"There's more to that story than you're telling, or at least willing to share" Robert says

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you got this look in your eyes when I mentioned her"

"How is it that we've only met and yet, you can read me so well?" Naomi asks

"I've been told that the eyes are the window to a person's soul; and your eyes, look as if they've seen a lot of pain recently" Robert says softly

"Touche"

"We could talk about it, if you want"

Sighing heavily, Naomi curses herself for being so, vulnerable around this man; but he seemed nice and, there was something about him that made her want to open up to him.

"Okay, cliff notes version, Sam and I divorced, Sam started dating my best friend, had a baby by her, my 16 year old daughter got pregnant, got married and almost got killed by a drunk driver. I moved to another practice, started dating my ailing boss, but also had an affair with a co worker who was in a wheelchair. I adopted my dead friend and co worker's 7 year old daughter. I got engaged to said co worker in wheelchair but broke up with him. I moved to New York then back to Los Angeles, Sam got Addison pregnant, but wanted nothing to do with the baby. I've had 3 good friends to die, I had another friend to get brutally raped, I had another friend who had been clean and sober for over 10 years to relapse, fall in love with a fellow drug addict who tragically overdosed before having the chance to get clean, that same friend found out that she was pregnant with her dead lover's baby, but unfortunately, the baby was born anecephalic and she donated his organs to other sick babies. What else, Sam, Addison and I finally resolved all of our issues with one another and well, here I am" Naomi says, suddenly feeling like the world's biggest idiot for sharing that much of her life with a total and complete stranger

"Oh, God I am, so sorry. I shouldn't have shared that much with you and I would totally understand if you wanted to move to another seat or never talk to me again"

"Now why would I want to move to another seat? I'm happy right where I am"

"You are?"

"I told you I could handle anything you throw at me"Robert says with a smile

"I'm assuming that you've heard worse?"

"No, but I've been through worse"

"You have?"

"Mmhm. I was married, to a wonderful woman, Sara. Sara was, man was she amazing. We were high school sweethearts. We were about your daughter's age when our son, Michael was born. We had 3 kids, Michael, Maureen and Morgan our twins. We were happy, until September 11"

"Wait, was your family?"

"Sara and the girls were actually on the second plane...Michael, he immediately enlisted in the military and was apart of one of the first groups of soldiers that was killed"

"Oh, Robert I'm so-"

"Oh I'm not done yet; I spent a good amout of time being angry until about 6 years ago. I met a woman, Carla and, she was amazing...but, she had a little, problem. Carla, was a drug addict and, she relapsed about a year ago and I hadn't heard from her since; until about a week and a half ago when her body was found in an alley. So you're not the only one who's running away to Africa to get away from a messed up life" Robert says with a sad smile

"What do you hope to find while in Africa?" Naomi asked

"I don't know; peace, acceptance, love maybe, you?"

"Myself; I've lost who I am and, I need to find that woman, be that person again"

"Well, for what it's worth, I hope you find her"

"Yeah, I hope I find her too" Naomi says taking Robert's hand and squeezing it.

_xx_

Watching the sunrise of the Africa coast is truly a beautiful thing to Naomi Deanna Bennett. Taking another sip of her tea, her mind is racing, thinking of so many things. It's only her first official day here; she contemplates calling to check on Betsy but, because of the time difference, she opts not to. Picking up her phone, she scrolls down her contact list, smiling at Robert's name. After their in depth conversation on the plane, he'd told her that while she was in Africa, if she ever wanted to talk, or have dinner or breakfast or, just needed a friend, that he would be that friend. Still smiling, she dials the number, waiting for him to pick up.

"Hey Robert, it's Naomi...I didn't wake you did I? Well, I was just wondering, if you weren't too busy if you'd like to have breakfast and maybe ride down to one of the local villages afterwards? Oh, what village were you heading to? Really, that's where I was headed. So I'll see you in 15 minutes then? 15 sounds great, see you then, bye"

Her smile now turned into a grin, Naomi leaves her view of the rising Africa sun and heads back into her hotel room to prepare for her breakfast date with, no, it wasn't a breakfast date...was it? There was no way she was attracted to a man after only knowing him for less than 24 hours, was there? Still smiling, Naomi chooses a simple outfit that spoke volumes. Knowing how hot the weather gets in Africa, she decides on a pair of shorts, not short shorts but, semi short, along with a green tank top and a pair of sandals. After applying a coat of lip gloss, the dark haired fertility specialist heads towards the kitchen to fix breakfast for Robert, all the while still smiling; she can't help it, she likes him, she likes him a lot.

_xx_

"I'm telling you Naomi, breakfast was great" Robert tells her as they drive into the small village later that day

"You sure it wasn't too much?"

"Do you know the last time I had a good homecooked breakfast like that?"

"No"

"Well, let's just say my arteries and my doctor would thank you for not allowing me to grab McDonalds this morning" Robert says as the car comes to a stop

"Well, here we are" Naomi says with a smile as she carefully gets out of his Jeep, instantly allowing her sunglasses to settle themselves on her face.

"You ready?"

"Let's go"

They end up being separated, with Naomi working on one side of the tiny village and Robert talking to a few of the villagers, taking photos of them. She can't help but smile at Robert as she watches him work occasionally. He really is good with the villagers she thinks to herself, just as she bumps into someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry sir I...dad?"

"Naomi" Joe says with a smile, leaving his daughter shocked, confused and slightly happy to see him; but her biggest question was

_What the hell was he doing here?_


	13. Boston

**First, let me apologize for the delay in updates; I got hit with a bad bout of writer's block. Whenever I tried to update, my brain went numb Lol. Plus, I was pretty busy with school and stuff. Please note that the next few chapters will alternate between Naomi being in Africa and Sam and Addison. I still don't have a concrete ending but, I have a couple of ideas I'm considering. Thanks so much for hanging in with me, and this story-you guys are awesome for it!**

**Xx**

Sitting on the plane at forty thousand feet, Sam Bennett stared at his young son as he oohed and ahhed out the window at the clouds.

"See that honey, those are clouds" Addison said to her son as she he pointed towards the window

"'ook!" Carson said happily

"Yeah, I see the clouds; aren't they pretty?" Addison asked

"No" Carson said, shaking his head, making his mother chuckle softly

"By no I'm pretty sure you mean yes" Addison said, pressing a kiss to her little boy's head, making eye contact with Sam. For the majority of the plane ride, the two have been silent, not really bothering to speak. The fact that they both still had feelings for one another was something that neither party was ready to face yet, so silence at this point seemed to be the best option for them.

"Everything okay Sam?" Addison asked, noticing the look on his face

"Nothing, I'm just, watching him; he's so amazed by it all" Sam said softly

"Yeah, he's so carefree; he has no clue that we're thousands of miles away from home and thousands of feet in the air" Addison said as Carson continued to stare out the plane window.

"Thank you" Sam said suddenly

"What?"

"For coming, for agreeing to come; I never said thank you. It means a lot that you'd come, that you'd let Carson come"

"Sam" Addison said with a sigh

"You didn't have to do this Addie, you really didn't"

"Sam, Raymond is your father, therefore making him Carson's grandfather; I would never deny my son the right to see any of his family members, on either side" Addison said

"So if she were still alive-"

"You know what? Let's not talk about my mother" Addison said quickly, just as Carson turned around to face her, a huge grin on his face

"Hi baby, are you enjoying the plane ride?" she asked her son

"Nooo" Carson replied, making his mother chuckle again

"Oh, I'm going to hate that word by the time you reach pre school" Addison said

"Yeah, I remember when Maya went through her 'no' phase" Sam said with a smile

"This should be fun" Addison said sarcastically

"It'll be worth it, trust me"

"What, him saying no all of the time?"

"No, parenting; look Addie, I know that I gave you a hard time about it before but-"

"Sam, you're here now and you're being a great father; let's just, leave it at that. Now, you mind holding him while I go to the bathroom?" Addison said, having no desire to continue having their current discussion

"Yeah, sure; no problem" Sam said quietly, taking the baby from Addison as she unbuckled her seat belt and headed towards the bathroom.

* * *

When she returned, she found herself smiling at the sight in front of her. There was Sam, Carson on his lap as he read a story to him on his iPad, complete with the high pitched voices.

"I remember when you used to read that story to Maya" Addison said softly, causing both Sam and Carson to look up at her.

"It's a classic; plus, I want to pass on the tradition of reading to him and with him" Sam said, pressing a kiss to Carson's head as Addison got settled in her seat. As she got comfortable, she couldn't stop staring at the scene in front of her. It was like any typical father-son moment. It was moments like these that made her happy, but also angry at the same time. Sam was a great father to Carson, perfect even. So how in the world could he have thought that he would be a terrible father was beyond her. It was moments like these that she lived for. That was her with The Captain at that age; she's seen pictures of herself sitting on The Captain's lap, looking vaguely reminiscent of the scene in front of her as her father would talk to her and read to her; he always made sure to throw in the occasional fairy tale, despite Bizzy's disdain for them.

"You're so good with him" she said after a few more moments of watching the two together

"Thank You; you know, I was afraid, that he wouldn't like me" Sam said as his son smiled up at him in total adoration

"He idolizes you; it's safe to say that you're the favorite parent" Addison said with a slight laugh

"Nah; he might love me, but I'm not you...hey Addie?"

"Yeah?"

"I really am glad you came with me; I don't know how I'd get through this without you"

"I'm sure you would've made it through just fine"

"No, you're the reason I'm even doing this; I mean, if you hadn't talked to me that day about Raymond then, I probably would've told him no. Hell, I'm pretty sure I never would've forgiven my mother for lying to me all those years"

"Sam, you don't have to-"

"No, I do; I wouldn't have been able to deal with the whole Corinne thing if it weren't for you. I mean Sheldon was there, giving me shrink advice but you, you were there for me, as a friend; even after I'd broken your heart"

"Sam, I wasn't the only gone left heartbroken; I'm pretty sure you were heartbroken too. In fact I'm sure that I hurt a lot of people in the process of us being together" Addison said

"But do you regret it, us being together?" Sam asked, curious to know

"I wish I had done things differently; waited, talked to Naomi about everything, thought things through. I wish I'd considered how me wanting a baby would make you feel, how it'd make Nae feel. I wish I'd waited to have a baby. I love Carson, more than life itself but, it's been hard, raising him by myself. I mean, I haven't had sex, been on a date or anything like that since before I got pregnant. My life consists of going to work and coming home to take care of him, nothing else. As much as I love him, I have to wonder, was it really supposed to be like this? Was wanting a baby with you really worth all of the things that I've had to deal with?"

"I have to ask, did you consider...you know, having an abortion?"

That question made her sigh heavily before taking Carson from Sam and holding him close.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was just a cruel joke, ya know? You and I break up after not being able to agree on having a child and then I get pregnant. I was scared, because I knew that you didn't want a baby with me-"

"Addie"

"That's what you told me at the time Sam"

"I know, I know and I'm sorry"

"You don't have anything to be sorry for; I should be apologizing to you. I shouldn't have pushed you to make a decision. I should've considered you and Naomi and-"

"That still doesn't answer my question Addison; did you think about it, having an abortion?" Sam asked as he watched her intently.

"I was scared, and I had so many emotions running through my head at the time. I felt like I was in New York again and-"

"So you thought I was Mark Sloan?"

"No. My abortion, back in New York was something, is something I think about from time to time. I was married, married to Derek back then. I had everything a person could ever want, a great career, a great husband, wealth; but somewhere along the line, I started losing those things and, I didn't even know how. Then, I was in LA, dating my best friend's ex husband, who didn't want a baby with me...I did, think about it, having an abortion...but it was Jake who talked me out of it"

"Jake?"

"Yeah; I uh, asked him, to do it for me, the abortion...but he asked me one simple question: what did I want?"

"And what did you say?"

"That I was scared, and lost and confused and hurt. You had moved on with your life, Nae was barely speaking to me, Jake and I had this weird thing going on of 'will we or won't we'. I was a mess, I didn't know if I could handle raising a baby on my own. I didn't know if you'd even want to be involved, and I didn't want you to feel like you were trapped by me because you had gotten me pregnant. So, I did, I thought about it" she said, trying to blink back tears as she waited on Sam's reaction.

"So, what made you not go through with it?" Sam asked, still trying to wrap his head around the idea of his son never existing.

"I just, it was a decision for me; I remember how my last abortion made me feel and, I couldn't do it, it was something I did for me. I only asked Jake to do it; I never made any real plans about it, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to go through with it"

"So was it like a guilt thing? You feeling bad about your aborting Mark's kid?"

"While I do think about my abortion, for me it was, the right decision at the time. This time though? I had to think about me and what I wanted, and what I wanted, more than anything in the world, was to be a mom. Now when I look at him, I feel so blessed that I have him; it's been a crazy 11 months but, I wouldn't trade him for anything...he's my whole world" Addison whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Carson's head.

"I'm glad you did it, kept him; because even though I haven't always been around, I can't imagine my life without him in it...and if you had aborted him, well, I don't think I could've ever forgiven you for that. Mark might have been forgiving but, I don't think I could have been"

"But you forgave-"

"If I'm completely honest with myself, there's always going to be a little part of me that hates her for doing that, even if it wasn't my child. I'm a man who's all about family, so...I'll always be a little bit angry with her over that" Sam said quietly

"Are you angry with me, for thinking about it?" Addison asked, gently taking his hand in hers

"I'm a little bit upset by it I'll admit; it hurts, the thought that this moment...that my little boy almost never existed. It's a scary feeling for me because, it's kind of hard to imagine life before having him in it. I'm glad you didn't go through with it actually, thank you" Sam said as he turned to face Addison, tears glistening in his eyes

"Sam, you don't have to thank me" Addison said, gently squeezing his hand

"No, I do, because you didn't have to keep him, you didn't have to let me see him" Sam said

"No, I did; because moments like this, seeing you with him, make it all worth it. Just, don't let him down; don't disappoint him, or me"

* * *

As he sat in his seat, Sam Bennett felt an odd sense of peace and serenity wash over him. Looking down, he smiles at the sight of his son contently resting his head in his chest, thumb in his mouth. To his right, sat Addison, the mother of his child, who had fallen asleep;her head slightly resting on his shoulder. Something about this whole situation feels right to him, he can't explain what but, it just does.

"Excuse me sir, I don't mean to disturb you but, we're getting ready to land and, I thought you might want to wake your wife" the flight attendant informed him

"Oh, she's not-" Sam started, just as Addison woke up

"Mmmm, Sam? Did I fall asleep on your shoulder? I'm sorry" Addison said

"It's fine; the plane's getting ready to land" Sam said softly

"I'm sorry to disturb you ma'am, I was just informing your husband-"

"Oh, he's-" Addison started as the pilot came over the intercom, instructing all passengers to buckle their seat belts and prepare for landing.

"Wow, that was-"

"Awkward" Sam said finishing Addison's sentence

"I can't believe she thought we were married" Addison said with a shake of her head before taking Carson from Sam

"It's hard to believe that you two aren't married"an older woman sitting across from them said

"Nora, you really should learn to but out of people's business" the woman's husband said

"I can't help it Jimmie, they remind me so much of us when we were their age; and their son is the same age as Caleb was when we went through that rough patch...I didn't mean to intrude on your personal life dear but, you two seem like you'd make a such a lovely couple" Nora said

"Oh, thank you" Addison said politely

"Great Nora, now she probably thinks you're crazy" Jimmie said

"Actually, I don't; Sam and I, our history's...complicated"

"Does it involve you stealing your friend's husband? Because I don't think it gets any crazier than that" Nora said with a laugh

"Okay, is this some kind of joke or something?"

"What do you mean?"

"You bringing up stealing your friend's husband" Nora said as she and Jimmie exchanged a knowing look

"Lemme guess, Sam here was once married to your friend, am I right?"

"Yes, my best friend actually?"

"Did you two have an affair while they were married?"

"Well no but-"

"Do you think you're the first woman to be in a complicated love affair? Society might make you think so but, you're not. Do you know how many women cheated on their husband's back in the forties and fifties and sixties? It wasn't uncommon for that to happen back then; trust me, there's a possibility that your father might not be your father" Nora said with a slight chuckle

"Oh I'm pretty sure that my father's my father...my mother wasn't that type"

"Ohhh" Nora said with a nod

"So, how did you and your husband end up looking so-"

"Happy?" Jimmy said, finishing Addison's sentence

"Yeah, how'd you two end up together?" Sam asked, finally speaking since the conversation had begun

"It wasn't easy that's for sure; I married someone else who, over time became good friends with Nora; but that went sour after I came home from Vietnam and found out that she'd been sleeping with the mailman. Nora and I didn't happen until after my divorce from Irene and her divorce from her husband John"Jimmie said

"So you two both married other people? Did you love John, Nora?"

"I did; I loved John very much,but John wasn't exactly a great husband to me. I didn't meet Jimmie until John and I moved into the neighborhood he and Irene lived in. John went off to war and came back a totally different man. He had PTSD from the things he'd seen in Vietnam; it just got to be too much for me so I left him, or well I was forced to leave him"

"So how did you two end up falling in love?"Sam asked

"It wasn't until years later that we fell in love; we actually met at a hospital; I was a nurse and John worked in the ER. It started out as us grabbing a cup of coffee after work, but then one day everything changed" Nora said, smiling at her husband

"It was tough at first, us being together, mostly because Irene and Nora had become such great friends over the years and she thought that Nora and I had been sleeping around behind her back. Plus, our families weren't too fond of us being together, considering Nora's white and all"Jimmie said looking directly at Sam.

"Have you meet Sam's family..."

"Addison, my name's Addison; and this is our son Carson" Addison said

"Right, Addison, that's a very pretty name. Ya know, there's this really famous Obgyn-"

"That'd be me, Addison Forbes Montgomery" she said with a smile

"Oh! I had no clue" Nora said smiling also

"She's not the only one who's famous Nora; Sam here is Dr. Feelgood. Remember, you have his book" Jimmie reminded his wife

"Oh I do! I love your book Sam" Nora gushed

"Thank You, I'm glad you enjoyed it" Sam said with a chuckle just as the plane landed

"Well, this has been quite the plane ride" Nora said as everyone unbuckled their seat belts

"It really has; it was really nice talking to you Nora, and I hope that one day I can be as happy and in love as you and Jimmie are" Addison said with a smile

"You can be; I don't exactly know what the situation is between you and Sam but, I'm guessing he hurt you?"

"He did, but I hurt him too"

"Have you two forgiven one another?"

"We're getting there" Addison said with a slight nod

"It's pretty obvious that you two genuinely love each other; love like yours doesn't happen very often. If you're both willing to forgive what you've done to one another then, don't miss out on your chance at happiness" Nora said to Addison before exiting the plane.

* * *

Standing in the middle of Boston's busiest airport, Sam Bennett was surprised to find his mother standing there waving at him.

"Sam is that-"

"It is, my mother; what the hell is she doing here? I told Raymond to send Mary to pick us up and that once we got settled into the hotel that we'd-" Sam said, but was cut off by his mother wrapping her arms around him

"Well, aren't you gonna say hello?" Dee Bennett said to her son, a huge smile on her face

"Hey, mama; where's Mary?" Sam questioned once out of his mother's embrace

"Now why would I let Mary come and pick up my son, who came to surprise me, from the airport...is that, Addison?" Dee said, noticing the redhead standing over at the baggage claim

"Yeah, that's her"

"Well, what's she doing in Boston?" Dee asked as the redhead approached the two of them, pushing Carson in his stroller

"Mrs. Bennett, this is a surprise"

"It is; I didn't know you were coming" Dee said, her tone very dry as she looked at the sleeping baby in the stroller

"I didn't know you adopted a baby; Sam told me you were talking to the new fertility specialist, is he here with you?" Dee said, looking around

"Uh no; Jake and I didn't exactly date, and I didn't adopt Carson, I had him" Addison said completely bewildered as to why Dee Bennett would think such a thing. However the apologetic look in Sam's eyes told her everything she needed to know; Dee had no clue that Carson was Sam's son.

"Oh, so IVF finally worked this time, good for you Addison"

"No, I actually conceived him"

"You mean as in had sex and got pregnant?" Dee said turning to look at her son, hoping that he had no parts in this mess

"I did, this is my son, Carson Sam Bennett" Addison said with a slight smirk

"Samuel Isiah Bennett, please tell me that this isn't the surprise you had for Raymond and I?" Dee said glaring at her son

"Uh, did I mention the last time we talked that Addie and I-"

"No you did not mention it to me that you and Addison had had a baby together! The last time we talked, you were still dating that Stephanie girl and she was nowhere to be found" Dee said angrily

"You know what, Sam? Why don't I just, go grab the rental car?" Addison said

"Addison-"

"No, no it's fine; I'll grab a rental car and you can go with your mom to see Raymond, I'm sure the two of you have plenty of things to catch up on"

"Damn right we do" Dee said as she watched the redhead walk away and head towards the car rentals.

This trip was proving to be quite interesting indeed.


	14. All in the Family

**So, I read FlySkyHigh85's latest story, A Night To Remember, and I just had to post another chapter of this story, because of the way she ended the chapter...ugh! I'm waiting for the next chapter FlySkyHigh85. Anyway, if you're a Naomi lover, you should check her out, because she's probably the best Naomi fanfic writer out there. Anywho, I'm introducing some new characters this chapter. As some of you might know, I like to give playbys for visual purposes; because if you're like myself, you might envision something in your head as you read it...or maybe it's just me Lol. **

**So, for Naomi's mother, picture Dihann Carroll. Now, if you're a serious Grey's fan like myself, you might remember her as "Mama Burke", aka Preston Burke's mother. As for Naomi's father, think Billy Dee Williams(He appeared in Season 2 of Private Practice as a patient of Sam's, while his wife was a patient of Naomi's). As for Naomi's sister Linda...I'm thinking, Vanessa Williams (most people remember her from Desperate Housewives). I know, I know what you're thinking: Audra McDonald and Vanessa Williams? That doesn't even make sense! There's a reason I chose Vanessa, you'll see. This chapter is gonna be very...interesting. Oh, and I apologize in advance for the talk of race and the slight racism in this chapter and the following chapter. I also apologize for the craziness of Naomi's family, her mother in particular...she's a real bitch! Lol.**

**Xx**

* * *

"Oh my God Nae! You saw daddy?!" Naomi's s sister yelled as they Skyped that evening

"Yeah" Naomi said softly

"Well, what did you say to him...wait, where did you see him exactly?"

"In Africa"

"Wait, what are you doing in...is this about Sam again? Is he still seeing Addison?"  
"No, at least not now he isn't"

"What do you mean _'at least not now'_?" Linda asked

"When Addison decides to stop caring how I feel and stop being crazy, they'll get back together"

"I don't even see how you're able to stomach the two of them"

"Linda, Sam and I...there are a lot of things that happened in our marriage that-"

"I _told_ her not to marry that Sam boy; I _told_ her not to for this exact reason. Sam Bennett is just like the every other Black man who gets a little bit successful; he leaves his good Black woman who stood by him when he didn't have anything for some skinny Blonde haired white girl" Naomi's mother said

"Addison is a redhead mama" Linda corrected her mother

"Oh my God Linda! What is she doing there?" Naomi groaned

"I stopped by mama's on my home"Linda said, as though it were no problem

"Now Naomi, you act as if talking to me is a bad thing" Naomi's mother said, as she took a seat at the dining room table

"Hello Mama" Naomi said, faking a smile as she tried to be as polite as possible

"Darling, where on earth are you? You've gotten so..._tan_" her mother said, not bothering to show her disapproval of how much _darker_ her daughter was

"She's in Africa Mama" Linda pointed out, causing Patty's eyes to widen

"And just what in _God's name_ is she doing in Africa?"

"I'm here on business mama" Naomi said

"You already used that excuse, remember? That's where you went when Sam started dating Addison" Linda pointed out

"The last time I came to Africa, I did foundation business; I'm doing the same this time" Naomi replied

"Mmhm, _sure you are_; how in the _world_ do you even have a foundation?"  
"William White, you remember him don't you?"

"You mean the man that was your boss until you two started dating?"

"Linda!"

"_You dated your boss_?" Patty asked, suddenly curious about her daughter's personal life, seeing as she knew very little about it.

"So, how are things at the hospital Lindy?"Naomi said quickly changing the subject

"You know, same old same old" she said with a shrug

"Good, good. How's Donnie doing?" Naomi asked

"You'd know if you came home and visited more often" Patty replied with a roll of her eyes

"Mama, I'm busy with work; you know this"

"I'm not _stupid_ Naomi; you and Sam aren't together anymore. You don't own the practice anymore...you used to live in New York for a while, what happened?"

"Mama, I decided that New York wasn't where I wanted to raise Betsy so-"

"Wait, who's Betsy?"

"Oh, my daughter"

"_You and Sam had another baby_?!"

"_What?!_ _No!_ Ma, I _adopted _Betsy; she was my co worker Dell's daughter. He died in the accident that almost killed Maya and Olivia" Naomi said quietly, allowing herself to think back to when Dell died, and everything seemed to start spiraling out of control.

"What about the child's mother?" Patty questioned

"Betsy's mom died a few months before Dell did"

"I think it's sweet that you took Betsy in Nae" Linda said with a smile

"Dell saved Maya's life, it was the least I could do"

"And where is this..._Betsy_ girl right now?"

"Betsy's in New York with Maya"

"You left your..._child_ on your _child_, who is a_ teenage mother_?"

"Mama, _you do realize that Maya is almost twenty years old, right_?"

"Just because she's_ almost_ twenty doesn't change the fact that she had a baby at _sixteen, Naomi_"

"Maya made a mistake, _one mistake_, Kendra is-"

"Okay _whoa Nae_, don't bring Kendra into this"Linda warned

"I'm sorry Lin, I love Kendra, I do, but the fact that mama praises her when she's practically a drug addict-"

"Says the woman who refused to take her in!"

"It was your job to be there for her Linda, not mine!"

"Oh come on-"

"You and Bob were so busy with your careers that you didn't make time for that girl. You just, gave her money"

"Says the woman whose daughter-"

"Let's not even begin to talk about what I learned about my niece when she came to visit Sam"

"Alright, I've had enough of this. Naomi, you have _no room_ to judge Linda's parenting skills, especially when your daughter is _nineteen_ and married with a _three year old_" Patricia said

"_Oh my God_! And you wonder why I don't call or visit mama, _this is why_! _All you do, all you is ever do_ compare me to Linda, or complain about something I've done wrong in my life! It's all you've ever done, my whole entire life!" Naomi said, hot tears now streaming down her face

"Naomi, that's not true"

"Oh it's not? In the fifteen minutes that we've been skyping, you've degraded my marriage, rubbed it in that my ex husband is dating my best friend with whom he has a baby with, insulted my parenting skills, and called my child a whore. If that wasn't you being rude, I don't know what is" Naomi said

"Wait, Sam had a baby with Addison?" Linda said, not really hearing much else besides that

"Yes Linda; they have a son, his name is Carson and he'll be a year in January" Naomi said with a sigh and a roll of her eyes

"See, I knew it, _I knew it_! _I tried to warn you not to marry Sam_"Patricia said, a smug look on her face

"Is that what you're really going to say right now? No wonder why daddy left you"Naomi said, instantly regretting them once they'd flow out of her mouth, causing her mother and sister to fall silent

"Mama, Mama I-"

"No, you don't get to 'Mama I' me this time; you don't know why your father left me. Well let me just give you a piece of information: the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree dear, because the same thing Sam did to you, your father did to me! But you, you worshiped him, loved the ground he walked on, even after he walked out on you, and our family. You wanna know why I was so hard on you growing up Naomi, why I was so critical, well now you know" Patricia spat out vehemently before walking away.

* * *

"So basically, your mother said that your father left her for a white woman?" Robert asked Naomi as the two sat out on the balcony of her hotel room, sharing a bottle of scotch

"Yes" Naomi said bitterly

"Did your father say it was true?"

"He sure as hell didn't deny it" Naomi said, taking another swig of her scotch

"You okay?"

"I don't know...what my mother said makes sense; Black men do tend to leave the woman their with for white women once they get successful. I mean, so many have done it"

"So you think that's what Sam did to you?"

"No, yes...I don't know. I mean, out of all of the world, why did it have to be my best friend?!" Naomi wondered out loud

"Personally, I don't think Sam left you for Addison because she was white"Robert said

"Well, why do you think he did it?"Naomi asked

"I think we both know why he left you; why he chose Addison, is a whole other story" Robert said taking another sip of his drink as he watched Naomi stare off into the setting sky

"Can I ask, what happened when you saw your father?" Robert asked quietly as he watched Naomi's demeanor change...

_Standing there as the dust settles, Naomi finds herself in a happy place. She's in Africa, one of the poorest countries with one of the richest histories. The people of this village are somewhat modernized, but their technology is a bit behind and out of date. She knows that with a little help (and a generous donation) that the village can continue to advance and improve. She ended up working in the clinic that day with a few young kids from doctors without borders. She met several of her most inspiring patients that day, one of them not much older than Maya. Having the hands on experience made her feel good. She had forgotten just how, thrilling it was to get her hands dirty; years of administrative duty will do that to you, she thinks to herself. She and Robert don't see each other until around lunch time, which ends up with Robert playing soccer with a couple of young boys in the village, while she took pictures. She couldn't help but smile at the way he seemed so, in tune with the young boys in the village. He reminded her of Sam, and for a split second, she envisioned him playing soccer with their son. That image quickly faded however; the damage had been done, she just hoped that she would be able to see him play soccer with Carson one day. Ironically, almost as if they could read her mind, she got a phone call from Sam._

"_Hey stranger; long time no word" she said with a smile_

"_Okay I am in hell right now" Sam whispered_

"_Okay, Sam slow down...why are you in hell and, why are you whispering?" she asked, taking a bite of her pear_

"_I'm in Boston"_

"_Boston? What are you doing in Boston?" Naomi asked, taking a swig of her water_

"_I came to visit Raymond"_

"_Your father?"_

"_He's not...okay yes, I came to visit him; he's not doing too good. Doctors don't think it'll be long before he, you know"_

"_Oh Sam, Sam I'm so sorry...how's everything going? How's your mom and Mary and-"_

"_My mother hates me right now" Sam hissed_

"_Why does your mother hate you?"_

"_Because I may have forgotten to mention to her that I had a baby with Addison" he muttered_

"_Sam! You didn't tell your mother about her grandson?!"_

"_Oh come on Nae! I was pissed at her, especially after everything with Corinne...and, Addison was still pregnant at the time"_

"_Sam" Naomi said with a sigh, massaging her temple with her thumb and forefinger _

"_She's pissed off Nae; I don't think I've ever seen my mama so pissed off...the fact that Addison's here doesn't-"_

"_Wait, wait, wait, Samuel Isiah Bennett, tell me you did not drag Addison to Boston with you?" The brunette groaned_

"_I wanted Raymond to meet Carson and, she agreed to it"_

"_...How much of a fight did she put up?"_

"_We argued about it for a while but, she eventually came around to the idea"_

"_So I'm guessing that Addison had no clue that you didn't tell your mother about Carson either"_

"_I didn't, and she's pissed at me too. Do you know she took Carson and got a rental car and left me! She left me here, in the middle of the airport, took my baby and-"_

"_Sam? I'm hanging up now, okay?"_

"_Wait, Naomi don't-"_

_She has to hang up the phone and sigh heavily; the things her ex husband gets himself into. Just as she opens her eyes, Robert is standing in front of her, a sweaty mess; a very cute sweaty mess._

"_Hey, having fun?" she asks, smiling at him_

"_Yeah, the kids are great, but I've gotta get back to work; you want a ride back to the clinic?"_

"_No, no I think I'll walk; the fresh air is good for me"_

"_Okay; hey, everything okay? I saw you on the phone"_

"_Oh, yeah; my ex husband's just an idiot, that's all" she says with a smile_

"_Okay...you're sure you don't want that ride?"_

"_Robert, I'll be fine I swear" she tells him before gathering her things up to head back towards the clinic._

_She smiles at the small children running around her as she makes her way back towards work. Taking in everything that is the beautiful, and yet oh so ugly Africa, she barely notices the man she bumps into._

"_Oh, I'm so sorry sir I...dad?"_

"_Naomi, it's been a long, long time" Her father says to her, a smile on his face_

_She doesn't know whether to be happy or angry with him for leaving her. He didn't exactly abandon her; he was still there for every important moment in her life, graduation, her wedding, the birth of her daughter Maya. Hell, he'd even visited when she moved to New York and spent lots of time with Olivia, even met Betsy. Still, it doesn't change the fact that he left her, left them, her family._

"_You don't look so happy to see me sweet pea" Joe said_

"_I am daddy I am it's just...it's been so long" Naomi says, wrapping her arms around her father who simply holds his baby girl close to him._

"_It has been, way too long. What are you doing in Africa? You're not running away from Sam again are you?"_

"_Now you sound like Lindy" Naomi laughs_

"_I'm just showing genuine concern for you. Now, tell me you're not still pining after Sam?"_

"_I'm not; he's set his eyes elsewhere" Naomi sighs_

"_Still with Addison?"_

"_Not exactly; she's just being stubborn and trying to protect herself. It'll take some time but, she'll let her guard down and, they'll be together"_

"_How you dealing with all of that? Your so called best friend being all head over heels in love with your ex?" Joe asks_

"_I...Sam and I we, our history is, it's complicated dad"_

"_Can't be that complicated"_

"_Daddy I, I did things during our marriage that, well if I hadn't then, maybe we'd still be married" Naomi says with a long sigh_

"_Well, we've got nothing but time so, let's talk" Joe says_

"_But my patients, I have to-"_

"_That was always your problem Nae; you're a work-a-holic, just like your mother" Joe tells his daughter, affectionately touching her cheek._

_The two engage in small talk for quite some time before Naomi decides to delve into a more serious subject._

"_Hey dad?"_

"_What is it baby girl?"_

"_Can I ask, why'd you leave mom?"_

"_What did your mother tell you?"_

"_Well, she never talks about it, or you actually"_

"_That figures" Joe mutters, taking a bite of his burger_

"_It was hard, living with her after you left...I gained a lot of weight, ended up at fat camp"Naomi admits quietly, hanging her head in shame_

"_Your mother never lets me forget those summers you spent away at fat camp" Joe says with a sigh_

"_You, you knew about that?"_

"_She made sure I knew; said that me leaving was the reason why you, how'd she put it? 'Learned to stuff your feelings with food'"_

"_That's not, exactly the reason" Naomi mutters_

"_But it's part of the reason then?"_

"_Part of it; you leaving made it hard for me to trust guys...I had a hard time connecting with them, until I met Sam"_

"_So how'd Sam get you to let go and trust him?"_

"_He didn't; which is how I ended up cheating on him, right before we got married"_

"_You what?"_

"_Yeah; and I got pregnant too...but I had an abortion, but never told Sam" Naomi says, hanging her head down in shame _

"_So, he doesn't-"_

"_He knows, its the reason he divorced me"_

"_How did he-"_

"_I had to have a cyst removed, and he asked my doctor about us trying to conceive again and, she told him that it would be pretty impossible, considering the fact that I'd had an abortion"_

"_Oh, Nae; Nae I am, so sorry"_

"_No, it's my own fault dad, I-"_

"_No, if I'd just stayed...none of this would have happened to you" Joe says, feeling immensely guilty_

"_Daddy, why did you leave?" Naomi wants to know_

"_I, I left your mother, because...I didn't want to be with her in the first place Nae. She was a great woman but, there are things and ways about your mother that...she wasn't the woman I wanted to marry; but she got pregnant with Donnie, and so I stayed. I stayed until, until I couldn't anymore. Her ridiculous demands of how I should think, act, and feel got to be too much for me until I just, I had to leave"_

"_Did you go to her, the woman that you really wanted to marry?"_

"_I did; but not right away"_

"_Did you marry her?"_

"_No, I didn't get the chance to; she died a while ago"Joe says, the hurt of losing her evident in his voice_

"_Oh, daddy I'm so sorry...who was she?"_

"_A woman named Mina, Mina Patton"_

"_Mina Patton, why does that name sound so familiar?" Naomi wonders_

"_It should, She was Diana's mother" Joe says_

"_Wait, my friend Diana? You were in love with my friend's mother?"_

* * *

**a/n: Yes, Yes, I know..another shocker! I couldn't help myself. I'm still working out a few ideas as to where Naomi's story will go exactly. The next chapter is strictly Sam and Addison I have to tell you. Thanks so much for sticking around. Don't forget to read and review!**

**Xx**


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